Didn't know where else......

[Moulder86]

I didn't know where else to stick this one......

I've had enough I really have, sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself but I've always come second best to everyone.

My ex didn't want me because he still wanted his ex, I'm the last one my friends call if they've run out of people to go out with, I've always come second best to my brother and sister, the blokes would pick my friends over me.

I don't have a lot of money to buy baby bits and everybody keeps telling me to be grateful for what people are giving me and I am, I really am. At the same time tho I don't want my lil man to feel second best EVER and I hate the thought of not buying what I want for him and just putting up with what people are giving me. I feel bad enough as it is because I don't feel about this pregnancy how I should, I've not connected with my lil man or anything.

My ex said the other day I'm glad I don't have a say in this because I was talking about buying the maxi cosi cabriofix for £95....saying I can get a whole travel system for £120 or the fact I've already been given one!

Thing is I can get nice nearly new things from ebay for half the price I could at the shops but I know everyone will moan at me for it and make me feel bad on wasting money I should be saving for other things. The list of bits I want is probably non essentials and things I can do without but then it's things like the travel sysem I've been given is huge and barely fits in the boot of my car so I want something smaller but everyone keeps telling me I shouldn't.....ARGH I REALLY have had enough of feeling like I should settle for second best.

Sorry for the long rant it's been one of those days. I run around when my ex asks me to, or makes me feel guilty for not going. But when I ask him to pop round here and keep me company whilst everyone else is out he's got other things to do.

 

[Serene123]

I really don't know what to say but your little one isn't going to know the difference. All he needs is your love and those things (even if they're not to your taste). I really hope you start feeling better.

 

[ladymilly]

you poor thing. do things for yourself and your LO hun and don't be worrying about what others say you should do. put you and your LO first hun

 

[coccyx]

Just because something is secondhand/barely used does not mean it is second best to something brand new. You will be number one in your baby sons eyes so bugger the rest of them!

 

[Emmea12uk]

sorry you feel down

 

[Newt]

Hun, If you want the travel system that fits in your boot and makes life easy for you (heavy bulky stuff is a pain in the ass TBH) then you get it. Stuff what others say. This is your baby, and you can get what you want for him, from wherever you want. But please don't beat yourself up if you cant get the best/most expensive, its your love your LO will want and that is free.

P.S. when LO comes you will never be second best again...

 

[tinytoes]

i agree - you'll never be second best to baby.
And second hand doesnt mean second best.

As for feeling you're the last one your friends call then they cant be much good as friends.
You get on with your pregnancy, go to mums and baby groups and get yourself some brand new deserving friends I say. If people dont need you you CERTAINLY dont need them.

You're going to be a mum. A super Mum. You'll not be second best.

do what YOU want. it's your baby, you're mother so you make the choices. People can advise us but not tell us what to do.

 

[Moulder86]

Thanks girlies, I think I was just letting things get to me too much yesterday. I know second hand doesn't mean it's not good but I suppose it's just not getting what it is I want.

Thanks again.

xxx

 

[Wobbles]

Gosh Ive pickedup the eBay bargains They are in them for so little time esspecially outfits that Ive had stuff that looks BN although they stated they weren't.

Pram - If you want to buy a pram then BUY IT its f all to do with them what you want to buy your baby - and convenience sometimes is a must ...like it fiting in your car! yes you may have been given a few bits which is a saver but if you want something different then go for it! I bought lots of unessentials and I do not regret it one bit because they have been used & I am keeping most of what I bought for Caitlin.

And why on earth are you running round after your 'ex' tell him to go swival esspecially if he fails to be there for you. IF he needs or fancies your company then let him come see you -if you want him to that is!

Sometimes you find out who your friends are if you question their friendship then are they truely 'friends'. You & baby come first in everything - what you want for YOUR baby comes first don't feel obliged to put up with because someone was helpful just because they helped and you fancy something different doesn't mean your ungreatful.

 

[Becki77]

Hey, I understand your feeling down at the moment but the most important thing for you at the moment is your baby, forget about other people and chasing around after them. Like the others have said on here if they were true friends they would come and see you. Remember you will meet new people when you have the baby if you attend mother and baby groups and as for your ex.......... he sounds like a waste of time, very hard but try not to call him wait for him to call you.

Second hand things can be fantastic and soo much cheaper for just as good quality, dont feel bad about getting these things your baby will never know and infact it will not bother him in the slightest.

All your baby needs is to be loved, he is going to be so dependant on you once youve had him im sure you will bond with him.

Finally if you are on a low income do you know you are able to get a goverment grant i think its through surestart for £500 to help you buy baby bits, you dont need to repay this i think!
Take care xx