Didn't want to be here but I am..

[Bun87]

Hi ladies,

Our plan was to bfeed exclusively however it looks like I have low milk supply due to insufficient glandular tissue. This means we've been combi feeding and have been supplementing with formula. I never thought we would be here! I was reading a thread about feeling judged for bottle feeding - I know some people make this choice without considering bfeeding. But what about those, like myself, who don't have a choice? My lo needs food to survive, if anyone questioned me when out and about I think I'd be upset and annoyed. Never again will i judge anyone for bottle feeding - you just don't know the full story do you?!

Anyways, good morning and hello x

 

[RKW]

Hiya, I think it's the same for a lot of mummies. I was adamant that I would exclusively breastfeed, until my baby came at 37 weeks with no desire to suck. After a week of expressig by hand and syringe feeding she finally took a bottle. She has never once taken my breast despite a lot if help from the health visitors and midwifes. We have since found she has a short palette which makes sucking difficult. I expressed milk but could not cope with the 6 hours a day and night it was taking me, and sadly stopped expressing at night which pretty much diminished my supply. She is now 6 weeks and only has formula.
For many of us here formula feeding was not a choice, but essential to feed out very hungry babies. It's such a shame that so many people don't understand how hard breastfeeding can be, physically and emotionally. Breastfeeding is simply not as simple as I thought.

 

[Mazzy17]

Amy didnt like my boob, i tried but she just wouldnt take. I tried expressing but she just wasnt interested.

 

[Lou1234]

I had a breast reduction over 10 years ago and didn't know if i would be able t breast feed.

Turns out the milk just didn't get where it needed to go (I assume from scar tissue being in the way). I did try when Elizabeth was born but you could see within a day she wasn't getting what she needed.

I was disappointed I couldn't breast feed but was aware throughout my pregnancy there was a very low chance of me being able to.

 

[Noelle610]

I promise these feelings will pass.

I just posted this and thought it was lovely; perhaps it will help:

https://theotherbabybook.wordpress.com/2013/04/30/3-tools-for-nursing-babies-through-bottles/

This website rocks, too:

https://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/

 

[Bun87]

Just had a look at the FFF site and the blog, thank you for sharing! It feels quite nice to be able to sit on the fence and not have to pick sides now that we are combi feeding! I'm getting there x

 

[ReadytoMum]

I'm in the exact same situation as you! I've been told that I don't have enough glandular tissue as well so I don't have enough milk flow. They've started me on an herbal mixture trying to increase it, and it still doesn't seem to be enough.

So as of today the Dr and lactation consultant have started me suppliment feeding with a tube at the breast. It was a total disaster trying it out at the lactation office, and when I tried it at home it went even worse. Normally my son wakes up every 2 hours to eat, and after the formula combi feeding at the office today he slept for 4 hours. When I tried to feed him at home he fed on the first side normally, but then he fell asleep again and it was a constantly struggle to keep him awake and feeding on the second side which had the tube. So he hardly drank any of the formula and it took us 45 minutes to feed. And then I had to pump for 10 minutes on each side as well as wash out the feeding tube and then the pumping stuff.

I don't know if I can keep this up... it was bad enough doing this during the day, I'm not sure I can manage it in the middle of the night! I have a feeling that I'll be joining you soon on the all out formula.

 

[Mrs_Bump]

I didnt want this either and lots of people have judged me. My little one was born underweight with low blood sugar. He fed on the boob loads to start and then they took him to nicu and bottle fed him and it all fell apart. I struggled to get him to latch at all and he eats so much. I'm still expressing but I get very little milk and he eats so much. He went for 10th to 82nd percentile in 4 weeks. No one knows why he had these problems but I've been told to formula feed and top up with breast so he stays healthy but so many people still judge me.

 

[wookie130]

I know how you all feel, and I too had the glandular tissue issue. It is not common, but it will prevent you from establishing a successful BFing relationship with your baby. I am now an all-out formula-feeder, entirely against my wishes, and entirely against what I had planned to do for my child for 9 months.

But...you HAVE TO FEED THE BABY. A lot of BFing advocates online will have you believe that you're taking the "easy" way out, or that you're poisoning your child by bottle-feeding, or that you are not doing what you should be doing as a mother.

Well, all of that, quite simply, is total bullshit. Some people CANNOT BF, and it was not for lack of trying, or lack of love, or skill, or patience, or this or that. I find that formula feeders are often quite wrongly judged...and where do we get off as women, as fellow mothers, laying that type of guilt or shame on others?

Look, we all have to make decisions about how we raise our children...how we feed them is one of the first. We have about a million more we're going to make in our lifetimes regarding what is best. And breast IS best, we all know this...but it isn't possible for every mom and baby, and formula is the best alternative. I say feed your baby his/her bottles against your bare skin, talk/sing to her, make eye contact, and feed your child with LOVE. It's hard not to feel guilty about the bottle, but we can certainly learn to make the best of it.

 

[Bun87]

You sound like your in the exact same boat as me! I didn't mention in my original post but when I say we're supplementing, I'm using the medela supplementary nursing system to feed the formula. I feed him on one side for 10 mins, the other side for 5 mins then switch back and attack the nursing system. I'm supposed to express for 10 minutes four times a day but I had to stop doing it for a week because it was driving me insane and I felt like I was getting borderline ppd. I expressed today while lo was asleep and managed to get 1.5oz, the most I have ever managed to express in 3 weeks

I'm also taking domperidone and fenugreek to try to boost my supply, no idea if it is working. Also waiting for an appointment with the Breast specialist to confirm if it is insufficient glandular tissue that's the problem.

During the night I feed LO for ten minutes on each side and then hubby tops him up with a bottle. It has taken the pressure off me and means I don't have to get upset and frustrated in the night with taping tubes to myself. You have to do whatever works for you, stuff what anyone else thinks

Xx

I'm in the exact same situation as you! I've been told that I don't have enough glandular tissue as well so I don't have enough milk flow. They've started me on an herbal mixture trying to increase it, and it still doesn't seem to be enough.

So as of today the Dr and lactation consultant have started me suppliment feeding with a tube at the breast. It was a total disaster trying it out at the lactation office, and when I tried it at home it went even worse. Normally my son wakes up every 2 hours to eat, and after the formula combi feeding at the office today he slept for 4 hours. When I tried to feed him at home he fed on the first side normally, but then he fell asleep again and it was a constantly struggle to keep him awake and feeding on the second side which had the tube. So he hardly drank any of the formula and it took us 45 minutes to feed. And then I had to pump for 10 minutes on each side as well as wash out the feeding tube and then the pumping stuff.

I don't know if I can keep this up... it was bad enough doing this during the day, I'm not sure I can manage it in the middle of the night! I have a feeling that I'll be joining you soon on the all out formula.

 

[Etoiles]

It is nice to meet other women who are struggling with the same thing. I am having the same difficulties with my little one. I tried only breastfeeding for the first week since I figured that of course I would breastfeed, of course I want to offer my baby 'the best'. Unfortunately, he didn't gain weight and kept losing weight, more and more each time even though I fed him so often.

Once I did start supplementing with formula it did make me feel better in that at least he wasn't crying because he was so hungry anymore even though it broke my heart that I couldn't give him what he needed.

We haven't switched to bottles yet and I am trying to do the supplementary nursing system also and I agree it can be very frustrating at times. And when the baby finally sleeps I have to go pump so it's a rough cycle. I do have to say that since I have been taking some supplements and regularly pumping and feeding him with the SNS I have been able to pump more milk which makes me hopeful that I am making more.

Since LO is a month this week we will have to start introducing bottles soon since when I go back to work he will need to drink from one obviously. Any LO's have issues with bottles? Mine did initially and could not manage to drink milk from it which is why I switched to a SNS.

 

[Mrs5707]

I"m in the same boat as most of you. However, I have reason to believe that I brought it on myself in some ways. I EBF for the first 3 weeks, didn't have to give LO any formula at all and she was gaining weight beautifully. Then, I had to be on antibiotics for an infection I got and wound up with yeast in my breasts. It was soooo painful. I couldn't bare to breastfeed hardly, and about that time (around 4 weeks) she was cluster feeding up a storm and never seemed to be full. So, I started giving her a couple formula bottles. And, I believe it hurt my supply. I'm still pumping as much as I can all day at work, but only getting 2oz on a good day. A couple times I did get up to 5 but that only happened a couple times, and either way it's still not nearly enough to sustain her all day when I'm working. So, formula it is. No it's not the best, nor is it hardly affordable by any means, but the baby has to eat.

 

[Bun87]

We've been using the nursing system during the day and a medela calma bottle for the night feeds. Its supposed to be the bottle (its actually branded a 'feeding device' ;-)) for bfeeding mums as the text is like a nipple and it makes the baby work for the milk like they would have to at the breast. We use ours twice a day and no confusion here! Our Lo refuses the bottle sometimes but will happily latch on to me

It is nice to speak to other mamas who are having the same problems - its hard to explain how you feel... I should be able to feed my baby and was heartbroken when he kept losing weight. I'm in a much better place now and am thankful that formula exists, my baby is now thriving becauseI of it.

It's been hard work and I'm probably not pumping as much as I should be as lo is on me constantly, but I'm happy where we are now x

 

[flamingpanda]

I haven't been in here in a while but it's so sad seeing more mums going through similar experiences. All I can say is that in a few months the guilt will pass and you'll wonder why you put yourself through it. What's best for your babies is that they are fed. There's nothing wrong with formula. I'll give another thumbs up for the FFF website too. I think reading others experiences really helped me understand that I wasn't alone and I hadn't failed. People who tell you that giving formula is the easy choice have no idea. There was nothing easy about those first few weeks. Stay strong and remember you're doing the best for your babies, you're nourishing them!

P.S Another great website I came across today is this one:
https://www.mothereffed.com/2013/01/episode-5-spoilt-milk.html

 

[cupcaker]

I'm also here despite wanting to breastfeed..a decision only made on Friday


Since the very first week of having my son, breastfeeding has been extremely painful. I went with it...I thought it would improve,I thought I would toughen up, I thought this was normal. I went along with everything despite feeling dreadful all the time because this was 'best'. Amongst the hustle and bustle of having a new baby, visitors etc, it just got ignored despite being crippling. Feeling a bit rough from stitches and the general giving birth, I thought I was maybe just feeling too fragile.

At 3 weeks I had a horrible fever and had mastitsis. I knew though, it wasn't the mastitsis that was causing the general feeding pain, it was just an added extra pain for a couple of days

By 4 weeks nothing had improved whatsoever. Feeds were having me at breaking point and crying, despite being a toughie. I decided to have his tongue tie, diagnosed at birth, looked at again. (I was told it would probably be okay). I held SUCH high hopes on that being the culprit for the hideous feeding. He had it snipped by a simply lovely lady who was so optemistic this would help me, so kind and sympathetic. But, nothing really changed whatsoever. Family kept asking me on the days following the tongue tie procedure if it was improving. I kept saying 'I'm not sure yet' and making excuses as I felt I was even letting them down..they all had high hopes for me too that the tongue tie snip would be the culprit.


I have had times where I have fed him expressed milk as I simply cannot bear anymore. I've tried everything. Creams, sheilds etc. I've had his latch looked at by several professionals. No problem with it etc etc blah blah, tired of listing what I tried.I literally did whatever I could to get to the bottom of the problem.

Luckily my son has not been affected, he has had fantastic weight gain and wonderful health..just sadly at my expense. This has contributed to AWFUL guilt....he's doing so well on my breastmilk...cant I just 'hack it'?

At his six week check on Friday it all broke down and the doctor put in perspective how silly this 'carry on' was and how it is destroying me. I've agreed to give him expressed breastmilk and begin introducing formula. He will still have my milk just not via breastfeeding. Gradually I anticipate formula taking over fully, as I'm not sure how I can maintain pumping etc if I decide, oh, I want to leave the house! Plus if pumping begins to reduce supply more and more formula will be added.

I'm gradually getting used to the idea and looking at the positives of formula. I didn't know when I fell pregnant that THIS would be the hard part. I had a great pregnancy, a baby that even arrived on his due date, a birth just using gas and air...I was so pleased with everything and this really took me by suprise. xxx

 

[ReadytoMum]

Thanks for sharing your story!

At our last weigh-in my LO had gained enough that we were told we could suppliment with formula every other feeding now instead of every feeding, which was a relief, because the tube feeding is pretty restrictive! We have another weigh in on Monday now, which is about a week later, and as long as he's still gaining at least 25g a day we can switch to exclusive BF. I'm really hoping that it will be the case, but I'm also really paranoid that I won't have enough supply still and he'll start losing weight again if we EBF.

Thankfully it doesn't hurt much anymore when DS feeds except for the first few seconds when he latches on. I'm really hoping that we can manage to BF till 3 months at least even if we have to suppliment it. I feel less and less guilty about using formula though... I've come to terms with it. My baby needs to be fed and it's my job to make sure that happens!