Different Routines - do i say something?

[mummydove]

My DS goes to his dad's once a week over night. I have recently found out that they don't keep to the same routine as i do with my DS.

Should i say something? I don't want them (Dad and his parents who he lives with now) to think that i am being bossy but i don't think that it is good for my DS to have to different routines.

When he comes back from them he is exhausted because he does not get a nap and goes to bed about an hour later than when i put him to bed.

My ex left us when DS was 1 month old because he missed his single life and i get nothing but grief from him even though i have always made it so that he can see his son, it really gets me down so really don't want another arguement but feel i need to say something!

 

[purpledahlia]

Yeah i would say something, If he wants an extra hour with him maybe he can keep him an hour longer the next day? or pick him up an hour earlier.. Your ex is more likely to go on the defensive if you just tell him hes doing it wrong n stuff but if you hand him a compromise about the hour extra then he will probably see the point, Its important kids have the same routine as much as its easy to understand he sees him one night a week so he probably just wants to spoil him and let him stay up later, just make it clear its affecting him for a few days afterwards with tiredness and stability to bedtime is important.. He could just pick him up a bit earlier or drop him off later if its a bit extra time he wants instead of disrupting his routine. x

 

[mummydove]

I don't think that it is about the extra hour because he actually is not there a lot of the time, it is his parents looking after DS. I have spoken to him about it before and i think that he can not understand why what he does effects DS when he comes home.

 

[purpledahlia]

orite, well then id just say to him again, if its not about the extra hour then he should be doing the same routine regardless, esp the nap! You said he stays with your mum what about speaking to her??

 

[Kara1989]

I've had similar issues, with routines and discipline. I once told Summer she'd have to wait for a new DVD she wanted because her behaviour hadn't been great and think it's important she learns she needs to earn things but James just went it bought it for her anyway. Tried talking to him for ages but he didn't really understand about routine and stuff (he's a young guy!!) so I talked to his mum that he lives with and she was great. Since then she's been making sure the parenting is more consistent, so maybe try his mum?