Difficulty bonding

[Mummyemmy09]

Hi all, my ds is 3 months old. I had gender disappointment when I found out he was a boy at a gender scan, I was hoping for a sister for my dd. I just really wanted to have another girl. Anyway after a few weeks I started feeling more positive about having a boy and started to buy bits for him etc. By the time I was 9 months I was feeling alot better about having a son, even though sometimes I still felt a pang of jealousy when I saw other people with baby girls. I thought I was ok about having a boy but my ds is now 3 months old and I don't know whether the gender disappointment is making me feel like Im not bonding with him. He's been a more challenging baby than dd anyway, colic and reflux and also had alot of sleeping problems(some nights not settling until 7am) when he was first born. Most days I have trouble feeding him and trying to get him to interact with me. He hardly smiles or makes eye contact with me. Also I had to have a c-section which I think has also contributed to how I feel.

Most days I end up crying and I worry gd is a part of it, i then start feeling guilty because he's my son and I shouldn't feel this way. I also feel really
overwhelmed most days too, I want to play and spend time with dd but can't because ds needs my attention. It makes me sad because when I look at him i don't feel the same way as I feel about my dd. It upsets me to think that when I look back at his first few months all I'll remember is how I didn't enjoy it, I know hes only 13 weeks but I cant help feeling like I'll never bond with him.

 

[Mummy2B21]

It sounds like you might have post natal depression hun? I was diagnosed with it when my son was 9 months i had it from about 2 months after birth and never really realised it. I would see your dr hun as there is help there so you dont have to suffer and feel this way. x

 

[Angelmarie]

I agree, hunni. I think it wouls be a good idea to have a word with your doc. It must be awful feeling so down like that and it would be fab if there was something that could be done to help you out a bit.

Try to keep your chin up - youve got a difficult baby and have had to recover from a section too - not easy especially when you have another little one too.

Sending big

You'll get there