Disappointed over & over again. How do you cope?

[Ashlene]

Sometimes, I feel like I'm so sick of trying. And it doesn't help that everyone around me is getting pregnant making me feel like such a failure that I can't even feel genuinely happy for them.

My DH says I'm trying too hard and stressing him out. He doesn't know how crappy I feel each time I'm faced with a BFN, AF or seeing a pregnancy announcement on social media.

Sorry but I just felt like I had to let it out.

 

[aidensxmomma]

I don't really have any advice but I just wanted to send you some hugs. I know it's a crappy feeling to get bfn's and AF month after month. I was ttc my youngest for 13 months and it got really difficult. But just keep hanging in there. You're time will come soon.

 

[rebeccalouise]

You're not alone hun, I feel exactly the same. I'm a woman possessed with ttc at the minute. It's even starting to put strain on my relationship so I don't really have any advice, I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one feeling this way!

 

[dani_tinks]

It's so hard. You're not alone

 

[mommyB]

Men (well most) just don't get that it is stressful for us. And it's so hard! I conceived my two boys first cycle. I'm now on cycle #4 with our third and I feel like something is wrong with me. Lol. But that's only because it was so easy for me before. I don't know how long you've been trying but I'm sure your time will come, just like all of us Wish I had some advice, but I myself am also a stressed out TTC. Good luck

 

[BabyshoesS]

I know exactly how you feel. I go through the same sense of disappointment and sadness every month. It sounds hard but it really has helped me feel more positive. I wrote down all the things I love about trying for a baby. Like the fact that we have sex so much and after months of trying it's mad me realise how we can be more prepared got parenthood. It has made my hubby be so loving towards babies, making me more comfortable for our own child. When my friends fall pregnant I no longer feel jealous because I know my baby will eventually come. I avoid the baby Isle at the pharmacy because I know it will just make me feel sad. After finding out that my husbands has a low sperm count we have been trying a different diet, meds and exercise and all of it has brought us closer. I have decided to take full advantage of the situation we in. Don't get me wrong, I will cry the day af comes but afterwards I will shake it off and look forward to another fantastic month of love making and dreaming of my future baby. There are so many medical options no matter what you must have faith that your baby will come. My husband said to me one day when my best friend announced her pregnancy that God needs more time to work on my baby to make him/her extra special. That thought keeps me going.

 

[BlueWater]

You're not alone. I'm in the same boat. OH and I have been NTNP for 2 years and it gets stressful. I ask myself will it ever happen. We're TTC #1

When I see a fb announcement I just feel sad. Like I want my own little family, just 1 baby is all I ask.

Anyway enough of the feeling sorry for myself, my little advice would be to focus on the little things in life. Like for me it would be going to the gym, focusing on uni etc etc.

 

[Ashlene]

Thanks, I'm feeling much better now. There are so many pregnancy announcements going on still but I guess I'll just keep trying and trying until it is my turn.

 

[ottergirl]

It really is so frustrating I'm glad you are starting to feel a little better.

 

[Ashlene]

Yes, time to be positive and focus on the next cycle!

 

[lisap2008]

After years of trying I have learned not to get my hopes too high so I am not so down when AF shows up. also I dont obsess over symptoms in the 2ww .

 

[Roobe18]

I'm going on year 10 of TTC. I wish there was some good advice I could give, but there isn't. It's just horrible all around. I'm getting ready to start my first round of IVF next week and the level of anxiety is through the roof. All you can do is just keep pushing forward. It's so hard not to think about how it would feel to actually have a baby and hopefully have this horrible weight of sadness lifted from me. I'd love to actually be able to be happy for those around me when they get pregnant, but right now I just can't. Honestly though, after so many years of struggle, I don't know if I could be. All I could think was why were you able to do it and I had to go through so much cost and heartache. But... Hopefully if it works out I won't care how much struggle I went through. It's so hard to imagine a world where I'm not heartbroken all the time though.

 

[michbott]

Hi Ashlene,
Have faith in yourself. My friend tried for 3 years and got very stressed out about getting pregnant. She was a high-flying executive and not used to things being out of her control. In the end, they decided to go for IVF. As soon as they put their names down for IVF, she conceived naturally. They now have 2 boys. The moment the stress was lifted, she conceived. You need to almost trick yourself into relaxing, as under stress the body goes into Fight or Flight mode and will not allow you to conceive. I told her to relax and i'm now telling you. Go out and pamper yourself, take up yoga, relax. No doubt you both think i'm being patronising. I'm not, because it does work! Good luck! Michaela

 

[angelmum31]

I feel exactly the same! Year and a half of trying, one mmc and now have practically non existent periods and docsnotovrrly interested in helping! Recently spent hundreds and hundreds of pounds going down private route only to be given clomid and be told my amh level is 8 which puts me in low fertility

Plus all three of my best friends are pregnant! Cherry on top of it all is that my due date if i hadnt miscarried was this month and I am still not even close to being pregnant!

I feel you hun xx