do any of your boyfriends have kids from other relationships?

[bird24]

Hiya

Just wondering if anyone can offer me some advice as my boyfriend has a 4 year old from previous relationship and i'm finding it hard to deal with at the moment, love him to bits and his little boy but sometimes its hard.....

Why do i always feel so jealous....trying not to let it get to me that OH has a little boy from previous relationship but how do you not....i wanna have a baby so much and always have done but he already has a little one with someone else....i get jealous of there bond and sometimes i just feel like the third wheel not really knowing what to do..... things have to be revolved around when shes free (x girlfriend) or busy to what days at the weekend he has him....
someone please give me some advice i feel like backing out sometimes but i love OH so much ........

having a bad day!!

 

[Serene123]

I don't really know what to say. I'm sure your OH loves you, and his son, very much. And one day that little boy is going to be a big brother to your baby. Thats got to count for something, right?

 

[leeanne]

Hmm, I could relate to your feelings a number of years ago before we had our own. I have three stepkids and always felt like a third wheel to the kids and daddy

I think what it is is you realize how much you want one of your own.

And once your child is in the world, those feelings do go away, trust me!

How long have you been together with OH?

Trust me, the first years were hard dealing with the fact that he had kids, exes, etc. But I got through it and almost 10 years later, we have a great relationship, two wonderful kids and a third on the way.

You just have to remain patient and strong

 

[doctordeesmrs]

I replied to you in the other post.

 

[kelly2903]

my OH has 3 other children, i love them all to bits. he does have a great bond with his kids. i wansnt really bothered, i knew that when our time came he would make a brill dad to our LO we have been together for six years now. so our little bubs is exactly what we wanted. i did how ever have probs with his ex she obviously still saw his family because, of the kids and she used to be very nasty about me. i just left it i would of liked to knock her out. but that wasnt the best solution for the kids. so got on with it. things got a bit worse she started to tell the kids if i ever got preggers to their dad she would kick me so baby would die. it didnt hurt me by what she was saying i just felt so sorry for the kids they didnt need to hear things like that. but kids are older now, and so we dont have to see her and she doesnt see his family any more so things are so much easier. and the kids are excited about having a new little sister. don really care what she thinks. i know these situations can be hard. and yes he does have that tie to her because of his little boy. but he will soon have that tie to you. and you will be so happy

 

[nikky0907]

well,I can tell you the story from a different perspective...
As you know,me and the baby's dad aren't together...and someday my LO will be someone stepchild.Personally I think that the mom of you OH's son is jelaous of you because of the time you spend with her child and because you are going to have a family with the father of her son...
Every story has two sides...
Get close to the little boy because you will get him a little brother or sister soon!

 

[anita665]

My OH has a daughter from a previous r/ship. Tbh it has never bothered me. I think it's important for you to remember that he's with you now and that you plan to have children with him to. It doesn't make his ex more important than you and his child will be the big brother to your children. You'll be his step mum which is really important.

 

[bird24]

Thanks for all your replies - made me feel much better!! i just need to get on with it and not let it bother me....
i dont know why she would be jealous as she met another guy and got preg straight away again and now they have a baby together....i was hoping this would make things better now she has another family too but we'll see she just trys to take more and more money of OH all the time when he does loads for his son.....i love his little boy, he so cute and he really likes me so i'm really happy about that....
hopefully things will get easier as time goes on....

Thanks again everyone i just needed to know these situations can work and everyone can be happy xx

 

[nikky0907]

Oh,I'm sorry I assumed that she is single...
It's definitely not nice that she is taking a lot of money from you guys...
But it seems that your OH loves his boy a lot and he will love your baby just the same!

 

[babe2ooo]

i used to know how you feel, but after you have been together a while that feeling will go away, trust me

 

[Rumpskin]

Hi Bird

I have been with my OH for nearly 9 years. He has 3 kids from his marriage. When I first met him, his youngest was nearly 2. We have had them every other weekend more or less since then.

We used to have his youngest in our bed which was in all honesty too much as even back then, I wanted children.

When I m/c, I told OH that I did not want to be around the 1st weekend we had his youngest as it would be too much for me to cope with.

It has got better over the years but it is extremely difficult when all you want is one of your own.

xx

 

[bird24]

Yep his little one shares the bed with us too when he stays on weds and over the weekend....that can be quite hard sometimes
OH was telling me how excited he would be if i got pregnant and has never felt that before as it was by accident with his ex...so that made me feel relly happy

Thanks for all the advice i cant believe how much its helped

Might have to save all the replies for when i start to feel crap then i'll read them and feel better again

Thanks!! xx

 

[nikky0907]

My sisters boyfriend has a son from a previous marriage.My mom was very upset by this because she tought that he won't have kids with my sisters because of this.

Anyway,they get along quite well,he sings to her mama mia(because her name is mia)....my sister realized that he is a huge part of her life and is dealing with it....

 

[TashaAndBump]

pregnancy is always an emotional rollercoaster - especially with complicating factors like this thrown in. Just try to remember that you are the one he is having this baby with and he is standing by you - nothing else matters in the big picture

You could take comfort from his committment to his child because you can be confident that he will be a committed, supportive, responsible and loving father to your child - If he was willing to give up his time or attention to his child for anything then you would have cause for concern. But as much as it sucks sometimes to have to share your OH and to constantly have his ex in the picture, just focus on how things are now - he loves you and is having his baby with you and is always 100% gonna be there for the two of you. And that's beautiful.

Hope you feel better soon, hun x

 

[bird24]

Thanks again for your advice

we are just TTC at the moment so i'm not actually pregnant but obviously i understand what you mean and think its amazing that he wants to plan to have a baby with me rather than it happening by mistake.

We are both really happy and the thread has helped me see whats important...... Thanks

xxx

 

[TashaAndBump]

Glad you're feeling better