Do I just want to help her, or is there something more?

[BrandiCanucks]

Mods, please move this thread if it is more appropriate elsewhere. I thought this might be the best place to get answers.

Spoiler

I became a single parent a year ago. I've also been straight my entire life, but never had any issues with homsexuality. I've always been 100% in support of it.

Anyway, there's a girl I work with and over the last few months, we've grown really close. She's like the best friend or sister I've never had and she's helped me through a lot. She's been going through some stuff too lately, and she's been turning to me more than ever, and not anyone else. We know each other's deepest secrets.

I think she's beautiful. And she's smart, and she's funny, and I'm not usually very comfortable around people, but I'm very comfortable around her. When we call each other names like hunny, sweetie, babe, boo, etc, I get a warm shiver and a big smile. I feel like sometimes I mean it more than just a friend. I get that same warm fuzzy feeling when we give each other a hug.

She had surgery not long ago and she perked up just hours after when I came to visit, and since she's been off work, I miss her like crazy. We're practically inseperable at work, and even when we are separated to different areas, we still find opportunities to laugh and smile and shout "I miss you!" to each other, lol. We stay up late and just text almost all night, despite me having to get up early for work. I feel like I'd do anything for her.

She had her heart broken recently too, and I feel like all I want to do is run to her rescue and shield her from all the pain. I feel helpless when I can't be in front of her and giving her a hug to comfort her.

Is this just me really wanting to help her, or is it something more, and if it's something more, how do I, and do I dare tell her?

 

[MariposaTam]

Awww :aww:
Forgive me a bit but your post reminded me of myself 5 years ago when I met my OH-I too had never even considered dating a girl, but I fell for one all the same. Here we are 5 years later waiting to try for a baby.

That being said-in my opinion it sounds like something more for sure. Just the fact that you are questioning it and posting here strikes me as though you yourself know it is something more at least to you

Unfortunately, I wish I could give you the magic answer, but I can't. I think that you won't be able to live with yourself if you don't tell her. Clearly you care about her deeply- but relationships with girls are tricky. It's possible that she really only sees you as a best friend, and nothing more-she could be going through things and need a friend to share with and you happen to be the one. But then you also never know-She could also be waiting for you to make a move!

Has she ever mentioned liking girls? Maybe you could bring it up in friendly conversation without it being about you, just maybe casually figuring out what her opinion on the matter is and then going from there?

Its such a tough one, I don't envy you one bit! I was fortunate in that my OH is very lesbian-It was all just about me wrapping my head around the idea that I like-liked a girl lol.

Maybe try watching a movie? I loved "imagine me and you" similar situation to yours in a sense. Here is a recommended list, if you have Netflix you might find most of them!
https://www.imdb.com/list/eBT6jcqCQ-w/

Good luck! I might just be stalking you a bit from now on!! Feel free to pop by my new journal if you want to chat!

 

[BrandiCanucks]

She's never mentioned it before, and through our discussions last night, she said she was going to try and make things work with her boyfriend

Spoiler

who has been becoming more violent lately, but not hit her yet

and I kind of felt a bit of disappointment, and thought, "Then I just have to be there for her for now".

If I know her at all, she likely does not feel the same way, and that's okay too. I'm definitely not ready to say anything to her, and I also would never go after someone, male or female, who was already in a relationship anyway.

I'm really just not sure if I really want to be there for her and help her through it (I recently went through the abuse stuff so I recognize everything...and maybe that's why she's confiding in me?) or if I truly feel like I'm falling for my friend.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

Well, I kinda sorta brought it up to her tonight, except I told a story. I said I met a girl on a singles site and I thought I liked her, and said it was eating me up not to say anything. She's pretty understanding and she's been quite supportive, even suggesting how I can approach the subject, but I don't think she's clued in that it's her I like. I know she's still in a relationship with a guy, and she said last night she wanted to try and make that work, and if it didn't, it didn't. She said no matter what, she'd support me. She even mentioned that she has had those experiences in her past.

Anyway, I don't think I'm straight out ready to tell her it's her, but I'm glad I know that I can turn to her for anything.

 

[MariposaTam]

Awesome that you can turn to her for everything... Kind of stinks that she is going to try to make it work with someone who has given her such trouble, but I guess you live and learn-and it is great that she has such a good friend in you to help her through anything she might go through. I'm so glad you got her opinion and support on everything, that in itself is great to have regardless of everything.

I definitely wouldn't recommend telling her about your possible feelings while she is trying to make it work with her guy! However, if that does wind up not working out I would not be so quick to dismiss your potential feelings. Check out "imagine me and you" on your own if you get a chance, it's a great movie, and it puts things into perspective.

One last thing... how do you put things in spoiler tags?? I totally need that option, my replies are way too wordy must of the time and that is an awesome feature!

 

[BrandiCanucks]

Do the square bracket [ with "spoiler" then square bracket.Type your message, then finish with square bracket ["/spoiler" then square bracket again.