Do I need extra help?

[Watson101]

Hello - new to all this but looking to get some support and advice from others in similar situation. I am 37 years old and have been TTC for 13 months now. 6 months ago I went to the Dr and had blood tests and my husband had a semen test and all was reported to be fine and we were told to go away and continue to try. I have long irregular cycles - average days is 34 but has been as long as 44 so I think that perhaps, looking back and analysing, for much of last year we were probably doing it at the wrong time of the month. We bought a clear blue fertility monitor and have used that for the last 3 cycles and for the last cycle I also started charting BBT and logging data on fertilityfriend.com. Last Thursday 10th, I had a positive pregnancy test but then unfortunately went on to have a miscarriage this weekend. Anyway. Dr says we don't need to wait before trying again as mc was so early (4-5 weeks).

So... my question is this - do we continue as we are - now we have the monitor and are charting temps we know we are getting the timing right so hopefully this will result in another positive? Or seeing as it has been 13 months and I am 37 do we need to ask to be referred to a fertility expert? I've started taking agnus castus and am considering acupuncture etc etc all because I am starting to worry about getting too old.... do I need pills? who will tell me if I do or do I have to tell my GP I want a referral? or do I just chill out and keep trying for a bit longer? I don't even know what the waiting time is to see a FE - should I get in the queue?

All advice gratefully received. It's a bit lonely and scary esp since events on the weekend. X

 

[Jill72]

Hi

I have just started using the CBFM and I feel reassured that it is going to give me a REAL indication of fertile days - you say you started using it and a couple of months later got BFP - keep using it!!! As for all the rest - I think I would get things moving just to cover all bases - I can't see where you are from but you know what waiting lists are like!!! At least if you are in the queue you are moving forward.... but I bet you get the BFP before you even need to see the doc!!!

Good luck!

 

[Nat 1976]

Hi sorry so to hear about your loss!

This site is great for finding people to just talk to who understand.

I am 35 and been trying for about 18mths. I had a miscarriage 2years ago at 13wks and at that point was told to go away and kept trying.

In November I went to my doctors as nothing was happening and had all the normal test bloods etc and husband did the same which all came back ok. My Dr then asked me if I would like to see a Fertility Specialist and I had first appointment in Jan and I am now awaiting a lap & Dye test to check everything internally is clear, i.e. no blockages etc.

My Dr said because of my age and the fact that the basic tests where clear it was the best way forward to see a FE so I can’t see why you should be offered the same. You can still carrying on trying while you are waiting for the appointments to come through, that way you cover all bases and maximise your chances. Esp as depending on where you live will determine how long you have to wait to see a specialist!!!

Good luck in the mean time, and i hope you get another potive soon and a sticky one at that
Nat

 

[Watson101]

Thanks so much both for your kind replies and solid advice. I think that you are right and will make another appointment to see my GP and ask to get referred on - can't hurt can it? I'm based in Surrey UK so it might be a long wait.... As you say we can carry on in the meantime anyway and who knows...

I'm finding after 13 months this whole process is exhausting and hardest is keeping the anxiety of our never managing to conceive at bay - all the stories in the papers about being over 35 scare me. Plus seems every 2nd person at work is preggers including my sister in law with her 2nd - is hard to keep positive so having some support from people through this site who understand I think is going to help a lot so thanks again ladies and if I can be of help to either of you also would be very happy.

XXXXX

 

[Jill72]

I am 39 and have not even started trying yet!!!!!!!!!!!! I can not tell you how terrified about it all I am BUT I visualise this box in my head where I watch myself stuff all these negative thoughts into it and then I put it up on this high shelf and I DO NOT let myself get it down off that shelf!!!

I try to keep positive by identifying positive actions that I CAN do and have CONTROL over -I try to keep focused on achieving these and give myself a pat on the back when I achieve them.

I know you must be feeling frustrated and I have had similar frustrations as things have happened to prevent me from even getting to the starting gate!! Keep positive and enjoy all the good things happening around you too - our lives are made up of lots of elements - make time to enjoy and appreciate these too!!

 

[Watson101]

Jill you sound so brave, positive and focused - that's fantastic. I personally also do find being in control of what you can does help - hence using the CBFM and temp charting - I guess knowledge is power of a sort. Wishing you all the best with your preparations and hope it works out for you.