Do I still have a chance to BF?

[Kaylen]

So I was determined to BF this baby - she is my first and I really had no idea what to expect. She is just over 2 weeks old now and I started BFing in the hospital. The had lactation specialists who came and helped me with positioning and latching on. Baby girl would match on. Correctly according to them but then she would just suck A few times and go to sleep. We had to give her formula at the hospital because her blood sugar was low. I then continued BFing and she starts losing weights and she was a whole pound down when we left the hospital. Nobody made anything out of it. I was sent home and told to BF 8-12 times per day. So I tried that but baby just would suck and I didn't think she was getting much. At her doctors appointment she had lost more weight so we started giving her formula. I kept on trying to BF and I had a lactation specialist come home to weigh her. We found she only got 0.5 oz after and hour! I may sound like a bad mom but there is no way I was going to feed her continuosly all day to get her sufficient ammonite. I was never and still am not able to find a good position where my back doesn't hurt when I BF.
Well at this point I am pumping and bottle feeding but I am not producing enough to exclusively give her breast milk. I have to admit I don't pump 8 times a day as I try to get some sleep
Over nkght and I only get up once at 11-12 midnight and then one more time before the morning. So I get 5-6 pumps a day depending if the little one lets me do it.
I still try to BF once or twice a day but she ends up hanging there and not sucking and falling asleep.
I have read they babies get better at BF when they are a bit older and they become quicker and more efficient at emptying the breasts so do you think that she may end up getting a hang of it eventually? I'd rather her BF than having to pump so many times a day and still not get enough. To top it all her appetite just went through the roof the last couple of days and I can't keep up at all now. Mostly I make enough to feed her during the day and we do formula at night.
I am taking all kinds of supplements - mothers milk tea, mother's love vitamins, lactation cookies that I eat lots of (they are pretty good) throughout the day. I feel my breast hurt but when I pump I don't get more than 2-3 oz (3 is my best) from both breasts.
My mom exclusively BF both my sister and I and j always thought I would have no problems considering I am so much like her in everything.

 

[irish_cob]

If she's not getting milk then she's not latching on and feeding correctly no matter what your lactation consultants are saying. It's not complicated, she's either feeding properly or she's not, and she evidently isn't. The quicker you get it solved the better. Can you find an IBCLC? They're properly qualified and experienced unlike lactation consultants who may only have basic instruction in breastfeeding. It will cost you money but will save you in stress and anxiety I promise. It's not too late whilst you still have milk x

 

[Kaylen]

The lactation specialist I used is actually iBCLC certified.

I think at this point baby has nipple confusion and her latch has gotten worse. I should have done supplementing at the breast instead of bottle feeding. I have no excuse for that.

 

[noon_child]

Exclusively pumping is hard, hard, hard. Because pumps are less efficient than a (correctly) latched baby you may find you have to pump more often, or for longer than you'd have to bf a child.

I know it is exhausting to contemplate night pumping but at night time your body is likely to produce more milk as your breastfeeding hormones peak at this time and your supply may never quite catch up with LO's appetite if you are not pumping every time she feeds in the night.

My LO had poor weight gain (not as severe as yours but I understand the worry) and I had to wake her every 2hrs to feed. If she didn't feed because too sleepy or because she wouldn't latch or only latched for a few minutes I had to pump. My life was a constant pattern of attempting to latch LO, then pumping, then realising it was time to latch LO again! However it was interesting to see that (during those early weeks) my 11pm pump would get about 1oz both breasts combined, my 1am on usually about 1-3oz whereas my 4am feed would get 5- 6oz some nights!

I have no idea if your LO will get better at latching as she gets older because it's hard to know what was preventing her from extracting the milk in the first place. My LO just did it wrong for the first 3 months, then it clicked. In terms of comfortable breastfeeding positions have you tried laid back feeding like in this link https://www.llli.org/faq/positioning.html

 

[Kaylen]

She latched on and fed for about and hour today. I know she didn't get much but she did better than usual. I still have to give her a bottle afterwards. I am going to keep on trying at least once a day and hopefully she will get a hang of it.
Honestly I am exhausted, my back hurts from holding her and I broke down crying a few times today when she was crying and I couldn't figure out how to comfort her. I wish my husband would be home more or I had help from somebody. I don't know how people do this. I only get to sleep at night for 4-5 hours at most and I can't make myself pump more than one time.
I can't help but think that breastfeeding will be easier than pimping once she learns to do it and is able to feed in less time. But then I will be back to work and will have to pump anyways.

 

[Maxy1]

Position for you:

Sit in a chair so that your legs are off the chair at mid thigh. I use a euro pillow behind me if the seat is too long. Put a small stool or pile of books under your feet so u can rest your arms and baby in your arms while you feed (or try a nursing pillow if you want). This is the best way I have found to not get a sore back.

I would have t agree with pp that if your LO is hungry and latched correctly then feeding should be going better. I had to see 4 different LCs before finding one that could help with latching DS.

I recommend you try to latch her on every 90 mins. Look at using a sns if you want to help with this. Since you are giving formula atm and you must be sheer exhausted by now!!!, I think you should give your body a rest between 7.30pm and 2-3am. At 2 - 3 am your body is setting the amount of milk it should make so aim to feed or pump at that time. Seriously - rest is just as important as everything else when trying to increase supply. Don't feel bad for needing rest. You can put more night feeds in later if you need to or want to.

Drink lots of water.

There are some really cool clips on youtube re: correct and/or easy latching, so maybe have a look and see if there are any ideas on there that you can try.

To help with milk flow try a heated compress just before feeding - so a hot flannel for about a minute beforehand.

 

[Kaylen]

Position for you:

Sit in a chair so that your legs are off the chair at mid thigh. I use a euro pillow behind me if the seat is too long. Put a small stool or pile of books under your feet so u can rest your arms and baby in your arms while you feed (or try a nursing pillow if you want). This is the best way I have found to not get a sore back.

I would have t agree with pp that if your LO is hungry and latched correctly then feeding should be going better. I had to see 4 different LCs before finding one that could help with latching DS.

I recommend you try to latch her on every 90 mins. Look at using a sns if you want to help with this. Since you are giving formula atm and you must be sheer exhausted by now!!!, I think you should give your body a rest between 7.30pm and 2-3am. At 2 - 3 am your body is setting the amount of milk it should make so aim to feed or pump at that time. Seriously - rest is just as important as everything else when trying to increase supply. Don't feel bad for needing rest. You can put more night feeds in later if you need to or want to.

Drink lots of water.

There are some really cool clips on youtube re: correct and/or easy latching, so maybe have a look and see if there are any ideas on there that you can try.

To help with milk flow try a heated compress just before feeding - so a hot flannel for about a minute beforehand.

Thank you so much I will pump at 2-3am tonight and see if this helps. I think my insurance covers renting a hospital grade pump so I will also check into that and get one of that's the case indeed. I know they are better at extracting milk.

What is sns?

 

[Maxy1]

SNS is a supplemental nursing system. It is basically a system where your baby latches onto the breast but is getting a mix of expressed milk or formula (depending what you put in it) and milk directly from the breast. it is great at encouraging your LO to latch and stimulate milk supply while still getting fed.

Some mums make their own but there are a few on the market too i.e. Medela do one.

I had to mixed feed with DS for seven weeks using formula and we still managed to get to EBF. Pumping is so difficult but I definitely found the hospital grade machines are much better.

 

[purplecupcake]

2-3oz total is actually about right. Breastfed babies eat around 3 oz or feeding. When I pump I get 2 oz per breast. My son doubled his birth weight by 6 weeks! Your breasts will make exactly how much your baby needs. Just allow her to nurse as often and as long as possible.

 

[Kaylen]

For those of you that have pumped, have you used personal electric pump and hospital grade pump and did you find a difference in the amount expressed? I am debating whether I should rent a hospital grade pump.
Baby nursed twice today and she seems to be getting better at it. But still need a bottle afterwards.
I am actually tryig to supplement at the breast with a little tube but it only works as long as baby stays latched and we are struggling with that.

 

[Maxy1]

I know I have already answered you but I found the hospital grade pump less stressful than my manual pump. I had no luck with a store bought electric pump at all, my manual pump did okay and the hosptial grade one was superb. Remember to use it the same way your LO nurses, so change the suction and timing throughout the expressing.

Also - just an aside, keep LO on the lowest (smallest) teat you can so she doesn't develop a preference for the bottle because it is easier.

 

[noon_child]

Did you have any success resting your back by trying laid back feeding? Physical pain is a major barrier to breastfeeding (understandably) and anything that can make it more comfortable for both of you will help your milk supply.

Is there any way that your DH could take a three day holiday to help you out? It might only need two or three days of pumping 10 times a day to kick start your supply and once that happens your LO might feed more effectively.

It is really hard to say how long you should keep supplementing with bottles or not (I had to do it for a time). Babies will often take the extra in the bottle whether or not they need it and then end up wanting to go to the breast less often, which SOUNDS great for us mums but actually you want her to be going to the breast as often as possible to aid your supply. On the other hand if she is unable to suck effectively it won't matter how often she feeds from you, she won't gain weight and your supply won't increase!!

How much do you give her in the bottle after feeds?

 

[the why bird]

The lactation specialist I used is actually iBCLC certified.

I think at this point baby has nipple confusion and her latch has gotten worse. I should have done supplementing at the breast instead of bottle feeding. I have no excuse for that.

You do NOT need an excuse for feeding your baby in a way that works.

You sound like you are beating yourself up over this. Please, please, do not. Exclusive pumping is hard. Feeding issues are draining. Personally I found supplementing at the breast impossible. It made feeding longer and more difficult. It was so hard to get everything lined up properly and with a baby who is already struggling, it just made the feedings messier and more challenging for both of us. They're also expensive and quite tricky to clean and sterilize (over and over and over again).

It's awesome that you're so dedicated to getting your child to the breast and I sincerely hope you achieve that if that's what you truly want. But don't forget that formula and clean, sterilizable bottles are wonderful, lifesaving things that we should never be ashamed for using. You matter too. Remember, you are the most important person in the whole world to that little person. Your wellbeing is important. Please don't push yourself so far that you make yourself ill. Your baby wants you happy and healthy.

If I'm misreading your meaning, I apologize. I just remember saying similar things myself ('If I had just tried a bit harder... I should have pushed myself more...') and I'm fairly sure that repeatedly beating myself up over our feeding problems, along with the exhaustion of never sleeping because I had to pump-feed-soothe-sterilize-pump again, was what caused me to get depression. Take care of yourself.

 

[Kaylen]

Did you have any success resting your back by trying laid back feeding? Physical pain is a major barrier to breastfeeding (understandably) and anything that can make it more comfortable for both of you will help your milk supply.

Is there any way that your DH could take a three day holiday to help you out? It might only need two or three days of pumping 10 times a day to kick start your supply and once that happens your LO might feed more effectively.

It is really hard to say how long you should keep supplementing with bottles or not (I had to do it for a time). Babies will often take the extra in the bottle whether or not they need it and then end up wanting to go to the breast less often, which SOUNDS great for us mums but actually you want her to be going to the breast as often as possible to aid your supply. On the other hand if she is unable to suck effectively it won't matter how often she feeds from you, she won't gain weight and your supply won't increase!!

How much do you give her in the bottle after feeds?

DH cannot take off work at this time. He will have a couple of days off for thanksgiving so maybe that will be a good time to pump more.
I am pretty much treating breastfeeding as she gets zero so I offer 2.5-3oz in a bottle. Her appetite is increasing so I am constantly adjusting. Trying not to overfed her too as I don't want any more throwing up episodes. It scares me and I cry when it happens.
I am trying to breastfeed in bed with a lot of pillows behind me and it seems to work. But she only takes one breast which is the one that makes more milk and everytime we switch to the other she lets go really quickly. So I am wondering if I should keep on giving the one that makes more to encourage her to suck better... And when we are better at it I can start offering the other one.

 

[Kaylen]

The lactation specialist I used is actually iBCLC certified.

I think at this point baby has nipple confusion and her latch has gotten worse. I should have done supplementing at the breast instead of bottle feeding. I have no excuse for that.

You do NOT need an excuse for feeding your baby in a way that works.

You sound like you are beating yourself up over this. Please, please, do not. Exclusive pumping is hard. Feeding issues are draining. Personally I found supplementing at the breast impossible. It made feeding longer and more difficult. It was so hard to get everything lined up properly and with a baby who is already struggling, it just made the feedings messier and more challenging for both of us. They're also expensive and quite tricky to clean and sterilize (over and over and over again).

It's awesome that you're so dedicated to getting your child to the breast and I sincerely hope you achieve that if that's what you truly want. But don't forget that formula and clean, sterilizable bottles are wonderful, lifesaving things that we should never be ashamed for using. You matter too. Remember, you are the most important person in the whole world to that little person. Your wellbeing is important. Please don't push yourself so far that you make yourself ill. Your baby wants you happy and healthy.

If I'm misreading your meaning, I apologize. I just remember saying similar things myself ('If I had just tried a bit harder... I should have pushed myself more...') and I'm fairly sure that repeatedly beating myself
up over our feeding problems, along with the exhaustion of never sleeping because I had to pump-feed-soothe-sterilize-pump again, was what caused me to get depression. Take care of yourself.

I know it's most important for her to get the breast milk and it doesn't matter if it's from a bottle or breastfeeding, but I worry that if I don't breastfeed my supply will diminish. In reality I only have 2 months to breastfeed and I will have to pump when I am back to work anyways. I do feel guilty just as you described and I know I could always try harder. nobody is blaming me or telling me I am not doing well enough except for myself.