Do parents always know?

[Sakura-chan]

Hi

I am new to this part but have been reading some other posts over the last couple of weeks.

My older son is almost 20 months old and in the last couple of months I have started to get a bit worried about his development.

He reached all of his milestones on time or early- sitting at 4 months, creeping at 5 months, full blown crawling by 7 months and walking properly by 11 months first word before age 1 and physical milestones have always been good- he is a fantastic climber and can run quite fast for his age.

I should point out the last 7 months have been a bit rough on us all- We were in my home country, Australia for 2 months, came back to Japan and then I gave birth to his baby brother 2 months early {when he was 12 months old} and came home when he was 15 months old {but we had stayed with the in-laws a bit during this time and I left him each day to go to the hospital for a couple of hours} Then March 11 we had a very big earthquake in Japan- it was a really stressful time for us all and we had numerous aftershocks that first month and still getting a few large ones now. There was threats of power cuts and more and in the end I took both boys to stay with a friend for a bit before we came back to Tokyo/Chiba.

We then moved house.

He has not dealt with his brother so well- I guess that was to be expected though considering his age. He had to grow up fast I guess.

In the last couple of months his language skills have gone backwards- he has always been a bit behind with language but at one stage he had about 12 words...since 16 months though he has gone back to having only 3 words. Currently his words are go, down and will say "ta" when prompted if I am giving him something. The words he has "lost" are all nouns- dog, ball, star, mama, daddy {he still say daa for daddy sometimes}

He is in a bilingual environment- his only Japanese word {at one stage} was Jiji which means grandfather.

He uses baby sign to sign for drink, eat, more, milk, car, train, sleep and other signs as well.

He gets overwhelmed over small things sometimes but other times they don`t bother him, will scratch at his own face or on other things when frustrated-like textured walls or floors, will look around at me or the room out of the corners of his eyes and lately insists on having his left shoe put on before his right shoe. Dislikes loud noises. Certain spaces he hates- like wheelchair toilets. He screams blue murder whenever I have to take them into one to change nappies or go to the toilet myself while we are out.

If his routine is broken- ie, I do not clean his teeth straight after our shower etc then he can meltdown quite badly.

He is socially okay. Makes eye contact, likes hugs, has no real sleep issues, not usually violent to others except to me, husband and his little brother. He is usually okay with strangers/new people. He points at things {I have heard not pointing can be a sign of ASD}

I mentioned my concerns to husband- he agrees something is a bit off but things it is situational. My MIL and my own mum thing he is too young to know if something is wrong- MIL thinks the speech is not delayed and is normal for his age.

I mentioned speech concerns to paed {ie, losing words} and he said if he is still communicating in other ways ie, pointing, signing, getting his needs across then no use worrying yet and we will see what he is like at 2.

Do mums always know though, deep down? Some have said it is just an adjustment period for him after the crazy year we have had so far. Others have said mum`s always know {this is usually from people I know in RL or online who have children on the spectrum}

Anyway I just wanted to introduce myself and son instead of just lurking.


Maybe someone can offer advice,

Thanks

 

[mommy2lilmen]

Wow
sounds like hes over whelmed. I think.
You sound like you have described my son. My son was abit late at things tho. Late crawler, late walker. Spoke about a dozen words down to 3 words now. Hes 22 months old. He to had a new brother born befor he turned 12 months old. he wasborn almost a month early. He is very sensitive to lots even foods. Stresses very easily and more. He head bashes, stressed or not. In his crib. He screams, wont talk. Wont share. Panicks if his baby brother is around. He loves him but makes it like he will take his things. He has just started to play with him so thats a start. We are going to see a pediatrician and be refered to a neurologist soon. Hes going to a speech and hearing dr soon, referal is out. He has just begun to eat normal foods, altho it is still very minimal. We have to have our shoes off befor we hit the top stair, he has to be picked up, he has to have a certain show on to watch tv and more. You sound like your son is my son. Your right, mothers know best. Take him in, explain to y our dr your concerns. Coudl be something small. I am unsure why my son is this way. But I am sure once I speak to the dr fully we will get it underway. I am sure you will to.

 

[mommy2lilmen]

Oh my son panicks if anyone new is in the house. He is not a sociable boy at all. He is slowly changing but melts down.
If routine, nap is broken, all hell breaks loose.
I do wonder if he is like me, anxious, panic, ocd...I suffer from those. ....
I wonder if the trauma from Japan quake has made that to your son? Only speculation...but it can happen.

I know my 3rd son, when I was with his dad, would resemble alot of autism..he has aspergers, but not as bad at he was befor. He is in counselling and more. He would have severe melt downs, he didnt talk till he was 3, wouldnt eat things, still doesnt, no eye contact, screaming fits, kicked sporodically, hit, shouted things, repetivitive stuff and more ...his behaviour is that of a 6 year old and hes 9. he is always behing and wont catch up it feels.

 

[JASMAK]

I think that alot of what your son is doing could be considered normal development. Alot of kids like structure and your child is at the age where he will have more meltdowns. The fact that he makes eye contact, points, has great social skills etc...is good. He does use language and I am not sure about him regressing, but he is still using words and gestures...and that is all communication. ASD is more than one symptom...I think it's like five symptoms...and your child has to have so much on each five of those symptoms to be diagnosed (or at least that is how it is where i am). Here they have something called the "child development centre" and you can be referred or refer your own child there and they will acess your child developmentally, as well, they have speech paths and occupational therapists. I wonder if there is something similar to where you are. You might want to check into that, and then you can have some of your questions answered. YOu can also complete a parent checklist for ASD...is it called CHAT??? You might want to google that. ASD is a very wide spectrum and you can hear of somebody's child not speaking or noticing people at all...to those who may be delayed with language and social skills, but not totally noticable. So, it's hard to compare one child with ASD to another, I have learned. There's alot of things that my daughter doesn't do, that is considered to be a symptom, but she has enough to still be on the Autism spectrum... hope that makes sense.

 

[Sakura-chan]

I hope I am worrying about nothing of course- I was just wondering how others found things. Did people tell you not to worry, that you were been silly etc- but deep down you knew something was up?

I mentioned to the dr and he said since he signs {in total about 15 on a regular basis} and still has some words even though he has lost some of his words that we shouldn`t worry yet. From more than 10 down to 3 though just seems a lot.

I agree some of his behaviour is his age- still a bit scary for me I guess.

Socially he is good though- so I know this is a good thing! As well as the pointing, trying to communicate etc.

I guess time will tell.

Thank you both for sharing your experiences!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think sometimes parents know and sometimes not. I knew but I had one friend who still rejects the diagnosis.

 

[JASMAK]

I hope I am worrying about nothing of course- I was just wondering how others found things. Did people tell you not to worry, that you were been silly etc- but deep down you knew something was up?

I mentioned to the dr and he said since he signs {in total about 15 on a regular basis} and still has some words even though he has lost some of his words that we shouldn`t worry yet. From more than 10 down to 3 though just seems a lot.

I agree some of his behaviour is his age- still a bit scary for me I guess.

Socially he is good though- so I know this is a good thing! As well as the pointing, trying to communicate etc.

I guess time will tell.

Thank you both for sharing your experiences!

I was one of those parents that was in denial. My sister is an ER nurse, and she would tell me, and give me things to read. She made an appointment for me to take her to a Speech Path...I went to shut her up. I was in denial. I still am alot. It is hard for me to accept. I realize that all the time. I think it would be easier if I did. It isn't easy for me. I know she has ASD, for sure. I get that now...but I couldn't wrap my head around it. She was so little when my sister first came to me...just after a year old. I could explain everything...she was perfect in my eyes..and still is! I saw it, but I didn't want to. I think it was beneficial to me that it took a year to get her diagnosed, because it was very overwhelming, and often still is. I always tell myself, no matter what the diagnosis, she is still my baby girl. No one would tell me I was silly, I would tell them that. But, I have heard that from many people so I think it does work both ways.