do strangers come up and give you advice/tell you you're doing things wrong?

[bunnyg82]

Hi, I have asked a similar question in the pregnancy section about random people coming up touching their bumps and judging them being pregnant, etc. But I wondered what you mums have experienced once baby was here? I know my sister has said that people just come up to her and tell her how she is doing things wrong or just interfere generally, so I was wondering what happens with all of you? So, let us know what we've got to come or just have a rant - I'd love to hear your stories...

 

[leedsforever]

luckily I havent experienced this yet.... but I did when I pregnant, comments etc! Im pleased to say it hasnt happened since shes been born!!

 

[Chel]

I got it a little... not too badly...

However, I was on a plane the other day, with Jasper on my lap, sitting next to a pregnant girl, she wasn't showing, but she told me she was 4 months along (if I used my imagination I could see the bump, but she was very petite! Lucky ducky!)


I did start to offer un-asked-for advice compulsively! I stopped myself though! I asked her questions instead! BUT it was seriously hard not to offer advice!

I have had a pretty awful moment with a random old lady at a bus stop telling me that Jasper was hungry, overheating and that I needed to put his teddy into my nappy bag because it was too hot for a teddy in the pram! I was so upset in that moment that I didn't respond, I just stood up and walked away. I'd JUST SAID he was tired, but she obviously didn't listen to me... what would I know... I'm just his mother!!!!


I did have a funny one when I was 7 months pregnant. A taxi driver asked me if I was married, I'm not, but from his tone I actually lied and said I was! He said "good, there are too many single mothers these days"

!!!

 

[bunnyg82]

See, now this is the kind of thing that would just drive me nuts and I don't know if I could keep my mouth shut - I mean, wtf - that woman has no idea what's wrong with baby and why do they think they have the right to tell you what they think?!!!

 

[lillysmum]

i think whoever would ask me that would get a stern word or two about how its none of their business - lol fortunately it hasn't happened yet

 

[1st_baby]

I got this once while in toys r us and I frankly just said " u raise your kids ill raise mine " lady just walked away pouting lol

 

[princess_bump]

i'm very lucky to say i haven't had any unwanted advice from strangers during pregnancy or since having maddi, i agree, they would certainly get a tongue lashing if they tried

 

[sparkswillfly]

My next door neighbour told me I shouldnt be taking 'him' out in the cold....... really pissed me off. She was fine wrapped up her in her snowsuit. Then he told me to 'look after him'.... no actually I was planning on swinging HER from the ceiling.

 

[keelykat]

no, luckily no strangers have said anything like this to me?

i wouldn't like it if they did.

keely.

 

[Sarah88]

I was going to post this morning and say no, but whilst at the markets this morning I had some. I was getting some pears for Savannah for lunch when this old lady came up, touched my arm and said You better wipe his nose. I just said she's a girl and turned away. She was in a pink and orange jumpsuit, with her ears peirced ffs. And she had been looking at her for a little bit beforehand so it's not like she couldn't have seen. Grrr...

 

[bunnyg82]

ha - interfering old woman! Glad you told her!! x

 

[emma_27]

My avon lady always comes round telling me i should do this and that and putting her beak in. Its very annoying.

 

[xKimx]

No but i do get they looks! Like today for example ciaran does this high pitched scream when his gums are sore so he was screaming in Morrisons and i couldn't stop him i gave him some bonjela and cuddles but the looks i got was soo horrible ! I get them all the time because i look young but i just walk past with my head held high !

 

[Pyrrhic]

I am always gobsmacked when I read threads like this. I have never, ever had anyone comment on my pregnancy, age, baby, anything unless positive. I'm just amazed people would stick their noses in. I dunno, maybe it's where I live? Small, Highland town. Maybe people are just nicer?

 

[Linzi]

I do get strangers sometimes and its always about the same thing. Seth has taken to pulling his socks off and either chewing them til they're soggy and cant wear them, or discreetly throwing them on the floor. We have lost about 8 pairs of socks lol so when we go inside anywhere I take his socks off and I ALWAYS get stick for it. Its not evenm a big deal? Its not like Im dragging him round outside in the pouring rain and snow with nothing on his feet, its when we're in a WARM shopping centre FFS.

Aside from that I get it terribly from someone at work who continues to lecture me about how Im too soft with Seth, yet she lets her 5 year old climb all over the kitchen benches while she's in bed, and doesn't brush their teeth because 'the're going to fall out anyway'. She pretty much rams her 'advice' down my throat and if I disagree with her she makes me feel like a bad mother.

Ithers are my parents and Matts parents. And some family. All say we're too soft on Seth because we don't leave him to cry at night for more than 10 minutes.

Honestly, its hard enough being parents without forever being judged about what we do. My boy is happy, healthy, extremely well behaved and an absolute credit to me & Matt.

I say take no notice girls, but it does wind me up something awful as well.

xxx

 

[sparkswillfly]

OMG! doesnt brush their teeth because they are going to fall out anyway!

 

[Rachiebaby24]

my face is unapproachable so no....

 

[hapimami]

People sometimes say the meanest things without even looking in the mirror. I have not encountered such but I see some remarks the gossiping and stares to which I just ignore. As if they are better mothers than me! Look at me now raising my child beautifully and responsibly! This is what I' saying inside myself.

So no need to bother with such people.

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[charlie07]

I got it a little... not too badly...
However, I was on a plane the other day, with Jasper on my lap, sitting next to a pregnant girl, she wasn't showing, but she told me she was 4 months along (if I used my imagination I could see the bump, but she was very petite! Lucky ducky!)
I did start to offer un-asked-for advice compulsively! I stopped myself though! I asked her questions instead! BUT it was seriously hard not to offer advice!
!!!

I think this is a little different, you didn't just walk up to her, you were chatting and giving advice (more to do with what you've experienced I suspect), NOT criticising her or telling her you HAVE to do this.

I have found myself telling people (THAT ASK!!!) what I did but always finish with every baby is different, go with what your baby needs. This is my friends who have just had babies, of course I will help them if I can, but strangers!!!!!!!! When people ask I tell, but I would never tell someone they are wrong, not doing something right, it has not happened to me, but god help the person who approaches me and tries that!!!!!!!!! Different for me though, if someone did say something, I wouldn't understand them anyway!! lol Lucky for them!!!!!