Do you believe a religious parent should have more say than an atheist/agnostic one..

[ahcigar1]

Ok so here is another question...that goes with the first...if she starts going to sunday school or to church..say when shes 3-4....at what age should we let her make the decision as to whether or not she wants to go?...

my biggest thing about how I was raised is that I resented going to church after a certain point because I felt I was old enough to be able to make the decision but was forced to go anyway..mainly to make my family look good..because of course people would talk if I just stopped going and it would make my grandmother look bad...

I feel like maybe if it wasnt so forced I would have been more open and might still be going today... I also feel like if you are forced to go it doesnt make you any more religious than someone that doesnt go to church..because the faith and belief has to be there..you can make someone go sit through anything..but that doesnt mean they believe in it...

When I feel she can make that decision, and it isn't just a I don't want to get out of my bed type of decision. Obviously at 3 or 4 she can't make that decision on her own. Take me for example, I stopped going to sunday school when I was about 10 or so, and I told my parents I didn't feel I needed it anymore and I wanted to go to service with them. I went to service with them for a few more years then I chose to stop going all together, and all along they supported my choices, nothing was ever forced I made the decisions under my own accord, and when I was going I was more than happy to go. I would tell my parents I wanted to go here and there and they would take me. But I never did loose that faith or beliefs. And started going again about 3 years back. So I guess you could say when I feel she is at a substantial age to make the decision and when feel is for the right reasons.

 

[AirForceWife7]

My husband & I are both atheists, so luckily we are on the same page as far as religion goes. I don't believe that religion entitles certain rights to a parent no matter what their beliefs. When our daughter gets older, though, I will have no problem letting her decide for herself whether or not she wants to be religious, go to church, etc. That is why I will not get her baptized/christened. I believe that she should have the opportunity to decide whether she wants to do that herself when she is old enough.

 

[nomadlife]

Say should be equal.

I think having 2 people with radically different beliefs would cause friction in a relationship, and parenting and be more of a challenge than 2 people with similar ideas about religion/faith.

 

[smokey]

I think there is more then enough room in your lfe to believe both religion and science.
My father is athiest and my mother is religious (well one of those when she wants to be type people) and I often used to sit and have discusions with my mum about religion or the bible or what we had been taught in school about religion and then go and have a conversation with my dad about science and his views of god not exsisting and we he thought that.

I dont think any one parent has anymore right then the other, assuming they are still together, if they are seperated then I do feel the parent living with the child does have a bit more say in it.
Its all about compramise and maybe decideing that the child wont go to church but the athiest parent wont forbid any teaching or discussions of religion from the other parent or in a school leason.
If a child is going to grow up to make their own descision then it is only fair to give them both sides.

 

[Jess137]

I don't think that one parent has more of a right than the other to decide how to raise your child.

I was raised in a non religious home. My dad is atheist and my mom is agnostic. I went to church sometimes with neighbors or other family, of my own choice, when I was a child. DH was raised as a super conservative Southern Baptist. So our religious and political views differ a lot. I honestly don't even know what I believe. But DH has not gone to church for a long time, nor does he pray or read the Bible. He still considers himself a Christian though.

We don't have kids yet, but I'm sure we will take them to church sometimes. I just disagree with DH's family's church and I won't step foot in there anymore (long story but basically there was a sermon in which I was told that my family were "of Satan" and that our children's grandparents would be the Devil).

The Baptist church does not believe in infant baptism, they believe that you must be of an age to decide to follow God and Jesus. So we won't have to worry about the Christening thing.

I'm just getting very tired of being told that we are "unequally yoked". If you are Christian than you probably know what that means (you may know even if you aren't). I wish people would stay out of our marriage!

Sorry for the rambling!

 

[BradysMum]

DH is a mormon, and I'm an atheist. Our children don't attend church with DH. He goes most weeks and I respect that, but he also respects my beliefs. I have no problem with our children experiencing the mormon faith, or any other faith, when they are older. But at 3 and 1 I don't feel they are able to understand and appreciate what it is about. DH isn't strict at all and so luckily it doesn't cause a problem between us.

So no, I think both views are just as important as each other.

 

[trgirl308]

I don't think either one should have more of a say than the other. That being said if you are of different beliefs then those are things that should be discussed prior to having children. If one partner is strong on the subject and the other is flexible then maybe a compromise can be met, but if both are strong on opposing sides then that can be very difficult.

I'm sure whatever you choose your children will eventually make their own choice. At 7 that might communion, and at 25 that might be atheism... you never know. Hope you come to a decision that you are both comfortable with.

 

[HappiestMom]

Jess..I grew up in a southern baptist church...dont get me wrong..I love my church family but there were a lot of things that had nothing to even do with religion really that turned me off from going there anymore...very hypocritical when it came to the youth group and how it was run..certain kids and their parents had alll the say...and those kids turned out to be some of the kids that were "perfect little angels" making out and doing worse things in rooms upstairs when no one was around... so yeah... half of it for me isnt even the religion itself just the people...

 

[Jess137]

MrsJerome, it is mostly the pastor that I have an issue with. But the things that DH and his siblings were taught almost seems like brainwashing. But they were also homeschooled by his crazy aunt....

 

[Natsku]

Equal say for sure, no belief is more valid than the other.

Me and OH both come from very religious families (his dad is a missionary and my dad was a vicar and is now a prison chaplain) so we were both raised Christian but we both drifted away from church as teenagers. OH now seems to be regaining an interest in the bible and studying it (combined with studying eastern teachings as well) and I'm not really bothered either way. I don't think I'd consider myself religious, agnostic or athiest - I'm just unreligious.

However I'm considering going with Maria to church one sunday as I found out there's an international church here and I'm just desparate to spend time with English-speaking people!

 

[AppleBlossom]

No. Religion doesn't "trump" atheism. An atheists views are just as important as religious views imo