do you ever wonder if your childs personality is a reflection on how they got here?

[catty]

Just curious.

my son was a 12 hour hard labour and wasnt breathing when he was born. We had no skin to skin and he was rushed away from me and I didnt see him again for about 4 or 5 hours with a 2 day hospital stay. He wouldnt feed as he was so sleepy from the morphine so breastfeeding was so so hard.

my daughter was a 3 hour labour. I got to the hospital and gave birth to her within the hour. I was the first to hold her even before the midwife and she didnt cut the cord for a long time and we had skin to skin and went home the same day.

my children are polar opposites, my son is a fiesty, confident crazy child who is soooo demanding and hates sleep.

my daughter is a placid lovely little thing that rarely cries and adores sleeping.
Were the same parents so I cant help but feel that the way they came into the world could have contributed to this?

 

[Bex84]

I wonder if it does effect them as a traumatic delivery is traumatic for them to. I had 7hr labor with daughter and 4 hrs 50 with son. Both were good births, little girl needed a little bit of oxygen but both over all healthy. Both mine are fairly laid back but don't know if that is due to me and husband are to

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I've never thought about it like that, but it's true for us! I had an easy, relaxed birth and slept through the night while I progressed thanks to an epidural, and DD is an easy child and that has slept through since 5 weeks old.

I still believe that personalities are made up of a variety of factors. It's an interesting theory though!

 

[Bella1185]

What a fascinating theory!!! Hmm... I'll wager it does - Or if nothing else just simply the stress they sense from mom right away during that traumatic time has made an impact. Does cortisol go through breastmilk? Maybe that too! It does ring true with Dd!!! So interesting!

 

[Fleur29]

I believe there is a lot to this theory, based on my kids and friends children and their labour experiences. Surprised no one has done any research on it!

 

[felix555]

Maybe! My son is exactly how you describe your son. I was induced, had a difficult labour but he was fine when born (I think his apgar was 9/10/10)

 

[claudinator]

I wonder, didn't have a long labor but had a dodgy midwife who nearly killed the pair of us, so his entrance was stressful 24preople in the room at birth. DS is a lively little dude never naps!!!! Sleeps excellent at night but never naps! He's super clever aswel!!

 

[MumToEva]

I wonder not just about the delivery but also about the pregnancy.

My 1st pregnancy was nerve-wrecking - ongoing bleeding from the same stage as my last miscarriage, weekly growth scans from 30 weeks because baby was measuring small with disproportionate measurements. My labour was fine till a point, but her heart rate slowed dangerously and she had to be helped out pretty quickly. DD was a difficult baby (reflux, poor sleeper, not interested in feeding) and is an anxious child.

My second pregnancy was straightforward, and labour was in a MLU with very little assistance. DS was an easy baby and has been sociable and outgoing from the get-go.

 

[liz1985]

Maybe. Never thought about it. It's hard for me to compare because both my labours were similar and their personalities are also pretty similar. So I suppose that works with your theory.

 

[Babybear85]

I think.there's something in it. My first wasn't a particularly long labour but was a forcep delivery they'd tried ventosse which failed his head was bruised and cut and he had a huge cut by his eye too which has scarred. He screamed for hours after he was born and the midwife advised calpol that night as he was presumably in pain. He was a miserable unhappy baby for about six months after its like he was so traumatised he didn't get over it for months. My second.was easier labour no intervention but his heart rate was dipping and they were concerned so he needed to be checked by the neonatal team they were waiting with everything setup but he was ok. Much more laid back and placid a totally different disposition

 

[CaptainMummy]

Im not sure tbh. (all 3 of my births were inductions due to being overdue)

My first was 6hrs. I got an epidural quite early on so was totally relaxed. Pushed for a 1.5hrs but she was totally fine. Not a bad birth at all.
She was the easiest baby ever (not so much now!)

Dd2 was a 1hr 45 minute labour, born in the pool. Totally relaxed the whole time on the g&a and only pushed for 10 mins or so. She was totally fine at birth.
She was alot harder work than dd1. She cried more, lots more! She was very active from the get go, and is extremely active now.

Dd3 was also a 1hr 45min labour. It was identical to dd2 but i wasnt in the pool. Pushed for less than 10mins and she popped out totally healthy again (i feel so blessed!)
She is still young, but at 8 weeks she is definitely not as 'easy' as dd1, but maybe thatd because i cant cater to her every whim at the drop of a hat, so cant stop her crying straight away? She isnt the easiest baby, but certainly could be alot lot worse.

 

[Pink Petals]

I don't really think so. I think genetics and parenting affect personality most strongly.

 

[pinkpolkadot]

Being of the opinion that everything that happens goes on to shape a person, I think there probably is something to it. However, there are so many other elements that come into play that something else could send things the other way, I hope that makes sense

Both of my labours were pretty straight forward until birth. The first was longer and placenta got stuck afterwards sending me to theatre which of course could have affected DD1. She has always been a challenge and highly strung! Second labour was very fast at the end and very intense, DD2 is much easier than DD1 not completely laid back but more so than DD1!

 

[MrsPear]

Hmmm my daughter was born at 40+13- after induction and 24 hours of active labour she was in the wrong position and showing no signs of moving so I had emcs. All the while she was very happy in there, never distressed at the prolonged labour etc, chilled as anything, very lazy. Then in life too she is a lazy daisy - didn't crawl until a year or walk until 21 months and rarely complains at being carried even now. I think her personality was already evident in the labour rather than the labour shaped her personality.

This baby was born after about 7 hours of active labour in thick meconium and was immediately taken for lumbar puncture and straight onto two different antibiotics because of infection markers. He was grunting and breathing too rapidly for several days and needed further xrays etc to investigate. However despite all that no infection source was ever found and he was happy as Larry - even though he was acting totally breathless his oxygen was completely normal and he never had a high temperature etc. So what will that say for his personality I wonder??!

 

[Zephram]

I think it would be a bit simplistic to imply that one event such as birth actually completely shapes or reshapes your child's personality. It may effect their early days, for sure, especially if they have a birth injury, but in the long term environment and genes would have a much larger effect.

 

[Gnomer]

I think it would be a bit simplistic to imply that one event such as birth actually completely shapes or reshapes your child's personality. It may effect their early days, for sure, especially if they have a birth injury, but in the long term environment and genes would have a much larger effect.

This ^^
Couldn't have said it better.

My sons labour was horrendous. After 60+ hours of active labour and him emptying his bowel inside there, I had an emcs. He was the easiest, most laid back baby I've ever known. Would sleep through from birth, I had to wake him for feeds during the night, although that stopped at 3 weeks because he was getting enough food grouch out the day.
Self settled, easy to wind, happy as Larry amusing himself but loved a good cuddle too.

My little girl was born via planned section, and she's been a completely different story. Total opposite. She has had whooping cough which has complicated things, but even before that she was a nightmare. Everything was straight forward during the section, skin to skin, no issues what so ever. Never been on for sleeping, fidgets constantly. Always needing stimulation, can't be left alone for a minute. I have to plonk her in front of the tv if I need to make dinner or use the toilet. Even then she's not totally happy.

Me and their daddy are total opposites though. I'm laid back, love my sleep, can amuse myself. OH is a fidgeter, bores easily, always on the go. Not content just sat relaxing. It's very obvious which child takes after which parent!

 

[catty]

Oh yeah I dont think it would completely reshape the personality but possibly plays a part in it.
Me and oh both sound like you oh - fidgeters that cant sit still.

 

[HBGirl]

I had an EXTREMELY stressful pregnancy and an elective c section. DD was a very easy baby and a great sleeper up to 4 months. She was hospitalised for subglottic surgery that failed. Spent 2 weeks intubated abd a tracheostomy was fitted. One week weaning off drugs then sent home. Her sleep went to pot from there.

She has woken multiple times a night since coming home. I think it was the trauma of being in ICU that did it.

 

[staralfur]

Could not be less true for us.

Labour was pretty straight forward (for her, I had complications however), my pregnancy was pretty relaxed. But she's slept like utter crap since the word go (still wakes up at nearly 3 years old), was high needs as a baby and is a very spirited toddler.

It's probably about as accurate as the theory that if you're just relaxed your baby will be, too. I am probably the most relaxed (maybe lazy) person I know and not an ounce of that has rubbed off on my LO.

 

[Babybear85]

My first pregnancy I.was.very stresses too so.I think.that plays a part more.than.birth tbh