Do you expect visitors to phone before coming over?

[bumblebeexo]

Do you expect visitors to call first?

 

[Button#]

Mine live four hours away so yes I'd expect them to phone first! If I lived close though I would probably prefer it if my in laws phoned first, mostly so I could make sure I was dressed and the living room was somewhere approaching tidy.

 

[AP]

Yes, I would. I absolutely hate having unexpected visitors. You could be busy/in the shower/ going somewhere/ baby could be sleeping, heck you could be sleeping.

 

[RoseJeans]

Both my ILs (his parents and siblings) and my brother live only a street away, at first we had this issue with just popping around without a heads up and like you, had a word with them only for it to turn into a mood too! In the end we just locked the door and ignored the knocks (I'm talking after 6mths trying) and now, years later they text/ring before popping in. I feel you have every right to want a phone call first, especially with young ones - unannounced visitors could wake them.

If all else fails, you and DH could be in an 'intimate' pose winkwink:whilst naked) when you hear them coming to shock them into ringing ahead in future...I've heard that works! Good luck!

 

[MindUtopia]

Yes, definitely. I think just popping in, unless you just happened to be walking or driving past and you saw us outside and we waved you over, is really rude. We don't do it. And no one does it to us (thank god!). Our closest family is an hour and a half away though and even our closest friends are about 25 minutes as where we live is really rural (there's literally no way you could just be passing by!). But yes, it's rude, and I would tell them that you expect them to call before coming over.

 

[LoveCakes]

Definitely and that includes parents. I like to have a tidy before any visitors plus we're often out.

Just stop answering the door. If they say they know you were in say you were trying to get the baby to sleep after the knocking woke them or you were feeding, bathing etc...

I had friends just turn up at 4 days pp. they had texted hubby but he hadn't noticed and hadn't replied. I was in the middle of a tearful meltdown about breastfeeding while trying to feed and had to stop. She said the me recently her oh thought I might have been crying but they still stayed over half an hour.

 

[TTC First]

DH and I just had a discussion about this because we are moving down the street from my mom later this year.

As for walking in the house. I am comfortable with it (we have keys to our parents house and go right in) as long as I know that they are coming over. DH is not comfortable with it. I figure that if he is not comfortable with it then we say no. But we plan to have the door locked at all times so that won't be an issue.

As for coming without calling. If someone is in the area and wants to drop something off and pass on a quick message then I am ok with them coming by. This would be a quick stop by and not coming in. But if you are looking to come in for a visit there is no reason you can't call first. There are some times that your house may not be the cleanest or maybe you are just putting the kids down and want to get some rest.

 

[MrsKChicago]

Nope, no way, no how. I don't even want my closest friends to stop by without checking first. What if I'm walking around in my underwear? What if I'm pooping? What if we're napping? What if the kitchen is a mess? What if I just plain don't want to deal with you? It's so incredibly rude and self absorbed when you haven't been told it's ok. Lock the doors and don't answer. If they complain later, tell them you assumed it was a salesman or something knocking because you knew you weren't expecting anyone.

 

[Cattia]

My SIL is the only one who comes without calling. She tends to just turn up, but she always comes at tea / bed time and she helps with the kids, reads stories, holds the baby while the other two are in the bath etc then when they are in all in bed we have a glass of wine! I don't have to entertain her, she comes to help, but she is the only person like that. Other people I would generally expect to call first.

 

[staralfur]

Absolutely, I think it's incredibly rude to just show up to someone's house without running it by them first.

I could see my MIL doing this if we lived close to them. It makes me anxious just imagining it!

 

[hanni]

I'd expect a phone call or at least a text. You could be up to anything. I probably wouldn't answer the door and just pretend we were napping or something.

On a side note and at risk of sounding like my dad - you should always keep your door locked! If she can just walk in anyone could!

 

[LoraLoo]

I'm fine with it. My sister, mum and a couple of friends often just turn up and walk in. Just how we are here. If Im ever not wanting to be disturbed like jumping in bath for eg I lock the door. It's just not an issue for me, but it is for you and that's the point- your in laws aren't being considerate to your wishes, and that would piss me off x

 

[catty]

if someone is literally popping round to drop off an invite or something id be ok with it. I 100% couldnt cope with someone just turning up all the time. id lock my doors and not answer. if they got annoyed id say I was naked or something haha. thats a short term solution though I think long term you really need to get to the bottom of it, its your house

 

[crownest]

I grow up with people just popping in and my il's are the same so I don't have a problem with it but maybe it's an irish thing. Ive never knocked or called my SIL before I called over.Then again I now live 5000 miles away from all of them so it's easy for me to say.

 

[calm]

You have a very similar situation as me: in laws a few minutes away and just popping round whenever they feel like it. Well,it has changed, and we only have visits at times that are established beforehand or if they ring. I was making myself ill just letting themselves do what they pleased, I still feel a bit of a witch for putting my foot down, and I'm sure they think I am, but hey, its better than being walked all over and having them in my house at all hours

 

[minties]

My OH and I both hate unannounced visitors. My MIL often pops around during the day when OH is at work and I hate it. She puts her face to the glass and stares in at us so we can't pretend to not be there. The front of our living room is all glass.

Weve told her over and over to stop but she keeps doing it. She will even go and try looking through other windows to see where I am. Once she saw me half naked after having a shower, I was furious. Who sticks their head in someones open bathroom window?!

 

[x__amour]

Definitely. Either a call or text for sure.

 

[Rachel89]

My OH and I both hate unannounced visitors. My MIL often pops around during the day when OH is at work and I hate it. She puts her face to the glass and stares in at us so we can't pretend to not be there. The front of our living room is all glass.

Weve told her over and over to stop but she keeps doing it. She will even go and try looking through other windows to see where I am. Once she saw me half naked after having a shower, I was furious. Who sticks their head in someones open bathroom window?!

My God, what in the world is she thinking? I swear I would ignore her still, even more so as hard as it may be. I think it will be the ONLY way for her to quit it. It will be awkward and weird, but she needs to get the point and that is the only way. Or you can put up curtains for a while if possible if you cannot deal with being able to see her. I find this very selfish of her and I am sorry that you have to deal with it. I'm afraid that only drastic meassures will help with your situation.

 

[Rachel89]

I HATE unexpected visits lol. I can be okay with it if it would happen once or so, but not as a frequent occurence. We used to live in an appartment where the owner would always leave the gate open and we couldn't keep it locked because there was none, and they didn't want to put one (long story we do not live there anymore). So OH's parents would always just walk in there, we didn't have curtains yet, and they would just come sticking their heads against the windows.

Once I was cooking and singing and my FIL was just standing there outside the kitchen window looking and listening and then laughed and commented on my singing (which I was doing in my own privacy of my home) after a while (creepy much?), what an asshole. Other times OH's bff would just drop by, we had a baby and I live there too, and he would just stop by and kept knocking.

Safe to say I had a word and said out right that I love to walk around naked so they better not be coming around unnanounced again. The message was received.

 

[MrsKChicago]

If I had a window peeping guest, I'd be so tempted to loudly fake call the police about a prowling peeping Tom. That's just so over the line, even if you're ok with unexpected guests!