Do you expect visitors to phone before coming over?

[Loozle]

I hate unexpected guests. I tend to ignore the door if they haven't bothered to ring or text first. Lock the door and ignore them

 

[rwhite]

Definitely, nothing worse than unannounced visitors IMHO.

 

[aknqtpie]

I expect mine to phone and ask if it is okay they come over. When we first moved to our new house (right before DD was born), it was "We are on our way out to help" .. we live an hour away. I finally told Brady he needed to lay down the gauntlet with his parents and tell them to ask if it was a good time. I didn't want them just coming out and showing up, especially when I was on mat leave and he was gone.

I don't mind them coming over, but I like a little notice so if I am having a bad day and don't want to see people, or have plans, I can propose a different time.. or I can give myself adequate time with an infant to take a shower and straighten up the house.

 

[vickyandchick]

I hate unexpected guests with a passion and I also hate those who call you to say that they're on their way over.
Um, who said that was okay? By all means call or text to ask to come over but don't just announce that you are. Some of my OH's family turned up at 9pm after I'd spent ages getting DS to sleep and made SO much noise, I was absolutely livid but MIL didn't even bat an eyelid (we unfortunately live with her atm).

Minties if MIL stuck her head through my bathroom window I'd stick my arse out. That might get her to stop

 

[Buttercup84]

If it was my parents I wouldn't mind them turning up unannounced, but OH's parents or anyone else then I definitely would. A friend of mine was living with her parents when she had her DD and she said her mum didn't 'police' visitors at all when her DD was brand new and loads just turned up unannounced, i'd hate that

 

[calm]

Minties, how very awful!!! Talk about thick skinned!

Buttercup, I would be the same about my parents, but they life so faraway its never unannounced. But yes, I would not mind them. It might seem bias when there are grandchildren in the equation, but its me with the kids all day at home, not DH. He always flees away from his parents when they are about so I'm damned that I'm going to put up with them every day, most certainly not unannounced!

 

[caz_hills]

My IL's love very close too and we had the same with my son. Turning up, calling (which woke him) so hubbie had a word. They were upset about it but we needed our space and time with our son and also didn't always want visitors! We moved and they had a key and let themselves in - hubbie put a stop to that! We are still close to them and I worry when we have baby no 2 in March that it will all start again but I will ask them to call in advance and if we don't answer please don't come over as I will be sleeping or having my own time! x

 

[Starlight34]

My IL's, BIL and SIL all live very close to us. They always drop by randomly. DH's family has always done that, drives me nuts. After I had my son, I would be sitting in my living room topless, trying to breastfeed, when I'd hear a knock, the door opening, and a "Hello?" coming from the back door. I had to interrupt my son's feed and cover up just because they wanted to drop by unannounced to see the baby! I was not amused. I told my DH to have a word with them.

 

[CaptainMummy]

I must be in the minority here, but I would love for someone to just turn up for a visit! We very rarely get visitors, and the girls and I love the company... It wouldnt bother me in the slightest I dont think (maybe with a tiny newborn then yes, but not now that they are older)

 

[lisa1980]

I'm not a fan of the unexpected guest. To me, the underlying assumption is that you should just drop whatever you're doing to entertain them, which annoys me.

Most people know this about us so we haven't had to deal with it much, but after DS1 was born there were a few occasions where people would turn up to see the baby without prior warning. We just didn't answer the door and if they called from outside the house we said we were napping/bathing/busy and it wasn't a good time. Might seem rude but it seemed to work pretty quickly.

 

[calm]

I must be in the minority here, but I would love for someone to just turn up for a visit! We very rarely get visitors, and the girls and I love the company... It wouldnt bother me in the slightest I dont think (maybe with a tiny newborn then yes, but not now that they are older)

I actually feel the same if the visits were the ones I wanted. My own family that sadly are either faraway or not alive, or my best friends who don't leave near me any more either. People I am comfortable and happy with. Its only all the inlaws family I want them to ring first, or not come round, as they drive me batty, or did when they used to come a 100 times a day whenever it suited them.

 

[d_b]

Depends on who it is and whether I'm dressed yet! I would prefer a text though. And in the newborn days, especially with my first, I certainly needed a heads up.

 

[HaveANiceDay]

I can't cope with unexpected guests, it bothers OH too but not as much. In-laws do it a fair bit and they don't even live locally. DD2 was about 3 weeks old when they decided to drop by for a couple of hours, we'd been out all morning and I was tired, hormonal and hoping to get a bit of rest but instead we had to entertain them. MIL even refused to make herself a drink and expected OH to make one for her after he'd said she was more than welcome to help herself which I found so cheeky and entitled especially as we'd just had a new baby. OH has told them all they need to do is call first but they rarely do, mil sometimes pops round during the week too. It's always when I'm really not in the mood to see or speak to people, or when the house is a mess. I try to remain polite but It's a struggle sometimes.

My mum does it too sometimes although she's more likely to message first. Other family members have more of an open door policy which is fine if it works for them but not everyone is the same.

 

[Enasy]

we live in a flat attached to my inlaws house and they never visit us, just badger us to bring baby over to the house....I hate going. My family live 100miles away so always ring to check a visit is ok. what i hate is when the inlaws have visitors and then expect us to "bring the baby over" so there visitors can see him. regardless of what we have planned or babies routine

 

[calm]

we live in a flat attached to my inlaws house and they never visit us, just badger us to bring baby over to the house....I hate going. My family live 100miles away so always ring to check a visit is ok. what i hate is when the inlaws have visitors and then expect us to "bring the baby over" so there visitors can see him. regardless of what we have planned or babies routine

This is my in laws, but they invite themselves round my house with their visitors, and tell me a few hours before. Well, they did this twice, I don't think they will do this again

 

[m nonie]

My parents kept just turning up when DS was first born and tbh treated my DH with no respect at all. I spent my mum a message saying that she needed to message me or just give me the heads up that she was planning on coming round. I couldn't believe it when I found out she'd told my best friend that I didn't want any visiters and told my whole family id said they weren't welcome :-o. We've had a pretty bad relationship since but I actually don't regret what I said, my DH felt like he couldn't pick up his own son without my family taking him away.