Do you still time when to dtd?

[xlouloux]

Hi ladies, just wanted to ask how many of you actually still try to BD on the correct days?

This morning we dtd and after I got a positive OPK, instead of being excited I was just likegreat now I get to spend two more weeks wondering if something happened. I'm only really using OPKs and temping to see the soy working, and feel like I actually just want to avoid dtd altogether around ovulation.

When I'm not ovulating, sex is great, but when I am it's just so miserable and crap and feels so forced (not sure if that's the right word to use.) This morning's session was great too because I wasn't expecting a positive for at least a few more days.

I just feel like I'd rather not try than actually make an effort to spice things up when I ovulate, and NTNP just doesn't work out, I need to monitor when I ovulate because of having anovulatory cycles previously.

How can I make this better? I hate having down days.

 

[tamithomas]

Totally understand what you mean. Before TTC and realizing we had fertility issues, BD used to be something we were thrilled about because we had hope..3 years later, we still love to BD but there's now that mini elephant in the room that makes it more of a chore around O time then actually having fun.

I've caught myself saying in my head not outloud "what's the point, we're in the 2ww" which catches me off guard when i think that because i should be honored that he wants to BD at everytime of the month lol. But I have also caught myself throwing a hissy fit because if I'm O'ing and he's either in pain from his disk in his back that dislocates on its own or if he's feeling ill in general :S

Don't get me wrong, we still have a wonderful sex life. Just we gotta accept that we are not like others were it's easy as one two three to get pregnant therefore have to accept timing it. As long as there's excitement and sparks in the bedroom, it's not that bad. Sure it's timed and it kinda makes you feel like you're an old married couple and timed sex is not always that exciting but for me what keeps me sane is yes there's timed BD but we also keep our sexual life alive by BD'ing at all sorts of time of the month. Maybe add a little foreplay? Basically, yes trust me i HATE having to do BD on a specific timer but make light of it, try to keep it exciting even if it has to be timed

 

[xlouloux]

Thank you for sharing.

It's so weird looking back at when we first started ttc, how exciting BD'ing was and as the months go on you read more and more things about what NOT to do around ovulation, it puts such a dampener on the whole thing. Then eventually you come to realise that while most of those things work for other people they are never going to work for you.

I am so thankful for DF, every month he asks when I'm ovulating and most the time he initiates because he knows I hate doing that when I ovulate. I feel like I am never going to get it right, like today I have been thinking about when is next best to dtd, I don't know whether to just go for it and dtd loads or just leave it and limit BD'ing so the sperm have a chance to reach the egg, but then it's like what if they aren't good enough and don't survive that long. Noone should have to sit thinking about that kind of thing, even when you try not to the thoughts still creep back up on you.

I was looking forward to having a nice weekend but now I feel like it's going to drag and I'll be spending it peeing on ovulation tests, last month I had 6 days of positives!

 

[B.J.Ld]

I totally understand. My hubby and I were trying to explain it to a single friend and he just couldn't see the bad in HAVING to have sex.. Though, for his sake, I hope he doesn't have too.

 

[mjemma]

We are taking a few months off as all the timing sex and stressing in the 2ww was getting to me. It's still difficult not to time it at all because obviously you are now so aware of your body you pretty much know when you are ovulating. But I have stopped counting cycle days, no OPKs and not temps. It has made me more relaxed.

I went to the FS this week and he gave me another 3 rounds of clomid at a higher dose which I wasn't expecting. Instead of being happy my first thought was that now I will need to time sex again to make the most of it.

 

[PocoHR]

I always know when I'm ovulating (or at least when I should be ovulating, I have problems actually getting there) because I have really obvious CM changes every month. So, regardless of whether I want to or not, I always know if we gave it a real shot. I don't push for sex on the right days anymore, if it happens then ok, and if it doesn't, at least I can blame AF on that when she comes. Either way, I try to just let things happen as they will at this point. I am 29 as well, been ttc for 22 months. I hope you get your bfp soon