Do you think it's rude if your mil asks your dh (her son)...

[porkypig]

Constantly round for dinner without asking you first if you're the one who cooks?

Opinions please x

 

[louandivy]

Not really!

 

[Wriggley]

no i dont understand how that is rude?

 

[porkypig]

If for example, she asks him, your oh says yes without consulting you first and you had already prepared your dinner in the morn or prepared a nice dinner? And you're just expected to drop everything and go there when all you want to do is, have dinner and chill out?

 

[porkypig]

Oh and your oh says to you were going round, and that's final x

 

[Princess Lou]

The way he's doing it isn't fair, but I would simply ask him and his mother to give you 24 hours notice. If you have already cooked it's not fair for him to go somewhere else for dinner.

 

[Liesje]

Depends on the MIL I guess... If mine made a habit of that, I'd make a habit of not starting dinner until 10 mins before we're going to eat lol
As for my OH telling me to do anything "and that's final"... I'd be like "yea... about that..." lol

 

[jen1604]

I think your DH is more at fault here than your MIL!

 

[porkypig]

I think your DH is more at fault here than your MIL!

Dinner wasn't prepared, but he'd been a bit down this morn so I'd mentally prepared in my head to do him his fav dinner- thing is she knows if she asks him he'll always say yes( mummy's boy ahem cough) I just a bit pissed off that I'm not really considered. This is not the first time this has happened. I myself am really tired and hormonal today, I just wanted to stay at home.

 

[xprincessx]

no, why would she? he's her son!

 

[xprincessx]

just read your update yeah i would find it a little rude but of DH not MIL. she wasnt to know but DH did and i would not go out of principal of being told "thats final" you are not his lapdog! i find that kind of talk extremely f'in rude and wouldn't put up with it! something my dad would've said to me when i was a child and wanted sweets!

 

[porkypig]

I haven't gone! I thought it was just me being hormonal. I'd just liked to be asked, not like I wouldn't have gone, she was round for 2 hours today and didn't utter a word about going there for dinner (shed asked dh in the morn, I wasn't there)" and it was only when she left she said " see you later" . Wtf?

 

[Wriggley]

I think if you have already started cooking then obviously you should just say thank you but i have already started cooking and i dont want it wasted but if its just a case of you know what your going to cook and she invites you then no i dont think this is rude we often plan what we having dinner in the morning but if MIL invites us we go there and do the planned dinner the next day.

its no biggy really and i definetly dont find it rude. as for your OH i think he could could ask you instead of telling you though

 

[rosie272]

I do think it's a bit weird that she'd be in your house for 2 hours and not mention it! As for anyone telling you 'that's final' I would be telling them where to go in no uncertain terms!! I would just ask her can she please give you a bit more notice when she's planning on inviting you for dinner

 

[porkypig]

I do think it's a bit weird that she'd be in your house for 2 hours and not mention it! As for anyone telling you 'that's final' I would be telling them where to go in no uncertain terms!! I would just ask her can she please give you a bit more notice when she's planning on inviting you for dinner

This s exactly it, a bit of notice is nice. Maybe I'm in the wrong I dunno

 

[maryp0ppins]

I first read the post as her asking JUST your dh over for dinner and excluding u and the kids,readig further i think the problem lies with your dh,he shouldnt just always say yes without checking if u have started dinner already.

 

[rosie272]

I don't think you're in the wrong but obviously you have your 2 LO's to get ready and routines to think about, I know I wouldn't have jumped at a dinner invite when Charlie was only 2 months old (not without notice anyway) Maybe tell your hubby how you're feeling about it *hugs*

 

[binxyboo]

I think it depends on the MIL and the kind of relationship you have with her.
If it was mine constantly asking DH round for dinner, I would find it rude because of the type of relationship we have (she constantly tries to undermind me and is passive aggressive toward me all the time)
I would also be annoyed with my DH for not considering talking to me first.

However, I am also the kind of person that likes things to be planned out and put in my diary. If I don't get 24hrs notice, it generally isn't happening!

 

[TwilightAgain]

Its not rude of your MIL to ask, but if I were you, i'd be miffed with OH for agreeing to it before seeing if you had plans/already prepared food first.

 

[special_kala]

its rude of your oh to not run new plans by you