I would find it more rude if she asked your oh and not invite you, but I think it is your oh in the wrong for not running things past you. Can't you try and come to some sort of arrangement where you go round there on a Friday night or something so there is more of a routine.
Do you think it's rude if your mil asks your dh (her son)...
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I never really plan what to cook in advance anyway. We usually just decide what to make when we get hungry! Haha. But yes it would annoy me if I had made something already and if he said we were going without seeing if I wanted to. That would just be a bit rude and selfish. And disrespectful. x
Eternal
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I would have been over the moon if mil invited us over every now and then lol. No I d t really see what the issue is. Your oh sounds more of the issue than anything, but to be honest sometimes for family you need to grin and bear it.
She is the mother of you husband, she gave brith to him, I would hate it if one of my sons wife's felt that way, the fact she didn't mention it isn't an issue either, perhaps she went home and thought about tea and thought she should invite you.
My in laws would always talk to oh first.
Howver if my oh made a comment along the lines, well I want to eat at mums and tags final, I would tell him he need to make arrangments to eat there every night. Lol.
She is the mother of you husband, she gave brith to him, I would hate it if one of my sons wife's felt that way, the fact she didn't mention it isn't an issue either, perhaps she went home and thought about tea and thought she should invite you.
My in laws would always talk to oh first.
Howver if my oh made a comment along the lines, well I want to eat at mums and tags final, I would tell him he need to make arrangments to eat there every night. Lol.
porkypig
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On face value you're right, but she's crafty in that shell plan things days before iykwim. She was round my house today for 2 hours had lunch and everything and didn't mention it once to me. I feel completely undermined. She puts pressure on us to always eat round, she does it with her other son too. I feel like I can't breathe sometimes as they're always in our pockets x
Midnight_Fairy
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I wouldnt be bothered, probably relived LOL.
Move far away... I live 100km from my parents, they've never once dropped by lol
porkypig
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At what hun? Lol
Eternal
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I do totally get it, my in laws and I and see eye to eye and we moved 550 miles away from them now and oh can totally now see how bad they were, when we we leaving my mil said at our leaving party, to me in front of everyone, I'll be glad to see the back of you.
So I do honestly get it, but you sound like me or at least how i did feel, so wound up and hating the way they treat me and my family that she gets the blame for things she didn't do, I did that a lot.
Now they hardy bother with us, and I feel so sad for oh, they have always treated him like crap and me, and now seeing my family he knows how bad they treat him.
The other day, my husband is a gas engineer, he called to say he wanted oh to get a part from the company, so steal a part over 200, and drive up and fit it in his boiler, and soon. Oh didn't, needless to say, if he had, he would not be stepping foot back in my house lol.
My and I get on much better now, I also dated someone who was a mummy's boy and I liked it apbut imagine it could get annoying if we had stayed together, I miss them though, wish you could choose your in laws.
You can't change your mil, but you can tell your oh what you expect, and I would, I would make it clear that he needs to check with you first I you dont want that to happen again. That way his mum will get the message too xxxx
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I assume she means because she herself wouldn't have to cook!
I think it's just a case of miss communication on you and your OHs part xx
eliana
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I don't think your mil is necessarily being rude, but i think she should probably give a bit more notice and not invite you for the same day.
I do, however, think it's unacceptable for your dh to make plans without running it by you first. In my opininion it is completely inconsiderate, more so as you have two and a half month old week old baby and a toddler and are probably knackered by that time. I would be furious with my husband if the did that.
I do, however, think it's unacceptable for your dh to make plans without running it by you first. In my opininion it is completely inconsiderate, more so as you have two and a half month old week old baby and a toddler and are probably knackered by that time. I would be furious with my husband if the did that.
Eternal
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Probably as its one less mean to cook, I hate tea time, if anyone wants to make me a friend for life turn up with tea lol. Feeding all five of us ... Argh.
Tea time comes around too quickly these days lol
C
Ceejay123
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No I don't think it's rude of your MIL, but i think your OH should consult you a little more. If my OH said 'we're going to my mums for dinner tonight' I would honestly say 'Erm, You go, I'm eating my nice prepared dinner!' 
I don't think it's rude at all for mil to ask you round for dinner. She doesn't know if you have a meal prepared or not. I do however think she should give more notice if at all possible. I do think it's rude of your OH not to call you before saying yes though.
Midnight_Fairy
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Yep, My OH insists on having meat with every meal, when he is not eating with us we have so much more choice haha x
porkypig
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No I don't think it's rude of your MIL, but i think your OH should consult you a little more. If my OH said 'we're going to my mums for dinner tonight' I would honestly say 'Erm, You go, I'm eating my nice prepared dinner!'
Well I didn't go in the end, he went with my son. I stayed at home with my Lo as she had her jags today and not feeling herself Xx
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Ceejay123
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Good on you 
X
X
Lellow
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OMG - My mum is your MIL and im your husband 
Except it doesnt bother me cos i cook all the meals and its a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge relief that i dont have to cook.
Infact today, my mum sent dinner over, but none for me, just for my husband....charming eh.
Except it doesnt bother me cos i cook all the meals and its a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge relief that i dont have to cook.
Infact today, my mum sent dinner over, but none for me, just for my husband....charming eh.
porkypig
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OMG - My mum is your MIL and im your husband
Except it doesnt bother me cos i cook all the meals and its a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge relief that i dont have to cook.
Infact today, my mum sent dinner over, but none for me, just for my husband....charming eh.
Lol this made me chuckle Xx
