does a baby seem surreal for anyone else?

[FionaJean]

i guess to the level I am feeling this would be unique to most moms WTT for their very first. The ones that have NO experience having a little one to call their very own, so are unfamiliar with the feeling. A couple years ago when the baby fever started a baby felt so REAL to me. This was during the period that I went crazy and researched anything and everything baby. I felt like a baby was just in arms reach (figuratively) and could sometimes imagine having a baby so deeply that I could "feel" the little one in my arms. I could imagine my baby so clearly, all I needed was to get pregnant!

Then TTC got pushed wayyy back and I had to learn to curb my baby fever in order to literally survive emotionally. Suddenly a baby didn't seem so real to me. And even now that we are again testing the waters of possibly TTC in the future again, it still seems like a surreal thing. A sort of "i'll believe it when I see it" feeling... I think i'll feel this way even when we TTC. It just does not seem like I will be able to have a child ever, almost like an omen. Theres baby fever, so I guess this might be considered baby depression? haha I'm not sure. It's not even the issue of a long wait to TTC... we may start this summer. It just does not seem like a baby is "real" anymore. Like it's just something to fantasize, but will never happen to me.

I don't know... it's such an abstract thing to try to explain, hoping other currently childless people can relate. Does the idea of having your first baby just seem completely surreal, like a daydream and nothing more? I'm hoping this feeling will go away once we TTC and I am pregnant... I want to feel excitement again, like a baby WILL be in my future!

 

[Springermommy]

I've felt this feeling when others have had "accidents..." Like that I would never be blessed with such an awesome surprise like that. Some days it definitely feels too good to be true.

 

[EmmySocks]

Yes! I'm the same, i can go through phases of imagining it so vividly and then later feel like it's something completely out of my reach.

Sometimes when my baby fever is really bad i give in and look at babyclothes in shops and search online for inspiration to decorate the nursery (which i don't have or need at the moment!) But this tends to be part of a cycle where after this i start to think about how far off it is for me. I think about not knowing for certain when we'll start TTC, and then not knowing how long it will take, fears about infertility... until i've pretty much convinced myself it won't happen and we'll be childless forever, i've had phases of this where seeing babies when i'm like this makes me cry. This is when hubby worries about me.

And then it goes round again... i think the surreal feeling comes from swinging between these 2 polar opposite emotions.

This sounds really extreme writing it down...

I'm working on it. By trying to understand where my thoughts are coming from and rationalising the extreme thoughts (i.e. "i'll probably have fertility issues" - rationalise to "there's no evidence to suggest that's the case"). I'm also working to try not to get carried away with the more positive thoughts like not spending long looking at babyclothes, this is more difficult because at the time i enjoy it. i'm getting better at seeing it as something that could be part of my life in the future.

Wow - sorry i've gone on a bit... Sorry if that's not what you meant at all

 

[Symphony7]

Absolutely! Last year I was so deep in baby fever I couldn't see straight. Now I'm terrified again and thinking of pushing it back another year. It just seems so scary. I'll see where I'm at in a year and go from there, but I have a feeling I won't believe it until they put the baby in my arms, and even then probably not. Sometimes I can't even believe I have a husband, he hardly seems real. It's like I'm living someone else's life at certain moments. Lol, but I'm in my own head a lot and am a thinker...so it's not unusual for me to have crazy thoughts like that.

 

[Kiki1993]

I know how you feel, i think the longer you wait the more surreal it becomes!

 

[justmeinlove]

Tbh it still seems pretty surreal at times now, and our little girl is nearly 2

 

[kksy9b]

^wss

I spent years and years dreaming and wishing and waiting for my little one. He is 9 months old now and I still have moments where I look at him and think it must be a dream, no way this little babe is mine. I Dont think that feeling of amazement will ever go away because even once your LO is here, they are constantly growing and changing and surprising you in all new ways.

 

[tverb84]

I feel the same way considering I have no clue when I'll have children. On the bright side, I'll have a nephew or niece this summer!!! At least when I have my child or children I'll have experience.

 

[FionaJean]

I know how you feel, i think the longer you wait the more surreal it becomes!

YES. I think that is a big factor. Because it seemed more "real" to me when we first got serious about talking about TTC and babies. It felt like the kid was already here practically! Then the delay leading to waiting much longer than anticipated, and then here I am suddenly feeling like the idea of a baby is very surreal. So true.

 

[meg_bellamy]

I totally agree, I've so desperately wanted to have a baby for so many years now that it does seem like just a dream and a fantasy, I don't know if I will even believe it when I finally get pregnant, and then I won't believe it til I actually have my baby. It's just been a dream for so long I can't imagine it coming true