Does anyone else feel like I do?

[susan_1981]

I recently suffered a missed miscarriage. Went for my 12 week scan and found out the baby had died at 7 weeks 2 days. The strange thing is, every time someone said to me something like "Aw you're going to have a baby" or "everything will be fine", I never believed them. When people said to me on the day I was going for my scan "let me know if it's twins" (I'm a twin myself), I felt like saying to them "Assuming everything is ok". I didn't say that to them because I didn't want them to think I was being negative, but I was. I was also constantly going to the loo to check I wasn't bleeding. And on the drive to the hospital, I said to my husband "hopefully after this can we can start believing it's real". I never felt pregnant at all, my symptoms were so mild, and I had been pregnant before - I didn't realise it until 8-9 weeks, and my morning sickness was quite harsh. Although I was never sick, I would often heave quite harshly, this time when I thought I was having morning sickness, I wondered if i was imagining it because I knew what to expect.

The month before I got my BFP, I thought I might be pregnant as I got a faint line on a test, turned out to be an Evap, but the day I got that faint line, I felt so happy and excited. However, the next month I got my BFP for real but I didn't feel that happiness. I felt shocked and that was probably it.

I had probably one day where I actually felt pregnant and that was the day before I got my BFP. I wondered why I didn't feel the excitement of the month before but put it down to shock and the fact that it was actually real. But I never felt pregnant from then onwards. I had really sore boobs, which I had never suffered from, and my stomach started to bloat but I just didn't feel pregnant. I also could never imagine holding this baby in my arms, let alone give birth to it.

I always feel that if you can imagine something happening to you (like really imagine it, not just wanting it and therefore imagining it) then it will happen. Now I can really see myself this time next year with a little baby, like I can really feel it is going to happen. Obviously I can't predict the future but I was wondering if any one felt like I did before they knew they had miscarried. I just keep wondering if, deep down, I knew something wasn't right even though I had had no pain or bleeding to indicate a miscarriage. I just hope that my intuition is right x

 

[moomoo]

Hi susan, When i fell pg i didnt ever get many symptoms either..i went to the doctor because i was worried that all my symptoms had disappeared (looking back this must have been around the time that bubs died) and she brushed me off telling me to stop being silly and to worry... about 2 weeks before i started bleeding we had gone out with the inlaws (who knew i was pg) and they were fussing over me..and it really annoyed me that they were making a fuss, almost like i didnt want them to get too excited

I also worry that anything i could do or say could jeapardise (sp) my next pg...like lying about not drinking ect...and also sometimes i feel as though im being punished for previous "sins"

 

[susan_1981]

I do feel the same. I wasn't exactly a "good girl" when we were trying to conceive but, since my miscarriage, I feel so differently about trying again. I'm going to do everything right this time. I'm sure you will go on to have a healthy pregnancy next time. I did read your posts about what happened to you and maybe you are more fertile just after a miscarriage but if you miss it, maybe it takes about 3 months to get out of your system and start trying again.

I heard you are more fertile when you come off the pill. Well I missed my most fertile period when I came off as I was on holiday and didn't know anything about ovulating and then I got pregnant 3 months after coming off of the pill so I think I had to wait for it to come out of my system. I think they say the same about miscarriage. So hopefully as this is your third cycle, it will happen for you this time because surely your body is getting back to normal. And you must be quite fertile to get pregnant while on the pill. I'm hoping it will happen again straight away for us, but if it doesn't, then I think I will be able to handle it better. I think we are going to focus on getting the house ready for a baby because, although we live in a 3 bedroom house, we only really use 1 of the bedrooms, the other 2 are dumping grounds for all my clothes!

Only a couple more hours left of this awful year. Normally I'd be out and about celebrating but I definitely don't feel like it this year so me and my husband are just sitting in, me with my wine him with his beers.

Here's to 2009 bringing us a happy healthy baby xxxx

 

[JASMAK]

I think I always felt a "sense of doom" with the last two pregnancies (which ended quite early). I was elated, but, didn't "feel" right. The first one I lost I carried it much longer and felt "pregnant" for a long time. But, about a week before, I felt the "sense of doom" aswell, and even went as far as mentioning my worry to my husband. For my first two pregnancies, which were normal and healthy, I never had any of that. I felt everything was great from the get-go, even when I had severe bleeding. Strange, isn't it? It's like we instinctively know something is not right. Very interesting thread.

 

[Wishfull]

Hi ladies. I also when looking back, got that "feeling" that something wasnt right. I had never been pregnant before so every thing was new all the hormones, sore boobs, morning sickness, overwelming tiredness. Then they stopped completely. No more sore boobs or morning sickness. I said to the MIL and she said your symptoms dont last your whole pregnancy. Then 1 week later i started bleeding. And the rest is something id rather forget. I think people say " oh dont worry" when pregnant women say they think somethings wrong. Cause they people dont like to think anything bad happening. But it so very sadly does. I know that if i ever become pregnant again im going to hit someone who says to me " theres nothing to worry about ". Because il have everything to worry about.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

i never believd in a million yrs my last preg wud end... even 3 weeks after i m/c i had symptoms... i never believed that baby wud die... the rest i did.
ill never trust my body

 

[haaza123]

Ummm... All your comments have made me think. When i found out i was pregnant i was excited but always had negative thoughts. When people used to talk about my pregnancy or about me being a mummy, i used to tell them not to talk about it incase they 'jinxed' it for me. I've always been a believer that if you talk about something too much or get too excited you end up jinxing it. One of my friends made a comment, she said if you keep having negative thoughts then something bad would happen. I still think about that now.

I took 14 pregnancy tests throughout my first pregnancy which ended in a mmc. Even after having a scan at 8 weeks. When family or friends used to ask about if i got pregnancy symptoms i used to get myself worked up because all i had was sore boobs and needing to wee alot.

Before my first mc i was naive about miscarriages, abit of it assumed that it wouldnt happen to me.

 

[ellie]

this is an interesting thread ... i'm sorry about your losses.
when i got my first ever bfp on the 2nd month of trying i didn't believe it and in fact i didn't tell oh until a few days later ... even then i told him in a very unsure way! i did several tests over about a week and alhtough they were all positive, in hindsight i didn't see them getting darker like they were supposed to. i had wierd sensations in my belly and my nipples were very tender and strange, but other than that i didn't feel pregnant and never quite believed that i was (even after meeting the midwife!) then when i m'cd at 7 weeks i was completely devastated but somehow not surprised, i think i had even been looking up articles about m'c as if i sort of expected it to happen. then i blamed myself massively for having a couple of drinks around ovulation time, i had taken omeprazole for abdominal pains and loads of homeopathic remedies and was very stressed at work, so i convinced myself that all of those things were bound to lead to the mc ....
sorry, long answer, but yes, i definitely felt that it wasn't right somehow, and never could believe it, however after the m/c i told oh this and he said 'why didn't you say anything' !!
now like susan i feel more confident that it will actually happen and have even been buying some baby things in sales - i had absolutely nothing the last time!
strange ......
wishing everyone very swift s and happy and healthy and strong pg's and babies for 2009 ....

 

[morayo]

hi gurls , funny i felt something wasnt rite with mine too rite from the word go. ive been pregnant before too so i knew how i felt then but when my aching boobs went away i was just plain scared and also i was always checking for blood like i wasnt beleiving the baby wasthere. right now im more enthusiastic about the whole ttc things i know it will come soon, and i just cant wait. my oh and i are relocating soon as well so we are going to get away from the pressures of the inlaws and everyone who are nosy enuf to ask whats taking so long! wish u all new year babies and i pray we shall have full term pregnancies and no more miscarriages!

 

[susan_1981]

Thanks everyone for responding to this thread. I wondered if it was just me! What is it with 7 weeks? It seems that most people who miscarry, it happens at around 7 weeks! Well I'm still positive and my bleeding is so minimal now that I know it won't be long before we can start trying again. I'm really hoping I get pregnant the first month of trying as I know I won't obsess with testing as my period could take 8 weeks to come back anyway, although I don't think it will. I've never had irregular periods, even when I had an ERPC before, they came back about 4 weeks later.

And I know xmas is an even more awful time for this to happen but last night, looking at all the fireworks going off at midnight, it made me feel so happy that this year is over and hopefully this one will be better for me (and hopefully all of us). If it takes me longer to get pregnant, then the way I feel at the moment it's no big deal. It will happen when it is meant to happen. And if it does happen a bit later than I'm execting at least I will know my body will have completely healed from my ERPC xxx

 

[samzi]

As soon as it dinged 12 i thought to myself thank god the year is over, i hope next is better!

 

[Orange lady]

Hi,
I recently suffered a mmc too. I had the same weird feelings. Didn't get excited at my scan, just plain frightened. I think intuition told me my baby wasn't right. Although I had no signs of miscarriage, I felt just plain ill. Didn;t want to do anything, and I felt like i was under a dark cloud with my mood too.
I don't have any preminitions about having a healthy baby, right now, it just seems like something other people do.
Good luck for 2009
x

 

[Drazic<3]

I dont think i felt the same, but i was young and niaave and and no idea what to expect. I guess looking back all the signs were there. Wishing you all a happy and healthy pregnancy in 2009. x

 

[Omi]

I think everything that has been brought up has been, frankly, natural things. I think its two pronged though: 'knowing' that something isnt right, and 2nd, just being plain scared that something so precious to you will be lost.

With my first bfp last year (yeeha 2008 is over! ) i was elated and although a friend had just mc and i asked the doc about it, it NEVER, EVER entered into my mind that i would mc. Whem i finally did, it was such a horrendous shock that i did feel all the natural feelings of anger, dissapointment, bereivement and grief. The second bfp was a bit different due to my previous experience.

I was elated but cautious in my own mind. This lasted the first 2 weeks and then i started having trouble visualising myself with a bump and actually having the baby. I dont and never thought i was jinxing anything or being negative (although both oh and my mum both said i was) I however just 'knew' something wasnt right. I should say that those feelings came, really, after my first scan as i was backdated 2 weeks and there was no way it could be. But the mw wouldnt hear anything of it as there was a heartbeat (at 6 weeks, but should have been 8 ) although she did say she couldnt explain my bfp when i got it if i was only 6 weeks (cause she was wrong!!!)

Anywhoo...i was in a total state after that..i just knew something was very wrong..and as it happened i mc again. I have since talked to my gp and the nurses/ mw's at epau who all said that 2 weeks is just plain wrong- so at least i know i wasnt being negative..i simply knew!

As far as the checking knickers thing...thats normal most girls i know on here who have since given birth said the same thing in the beginning of their pg journals..its only natural to worry!

Also wanted to add that the reason most pg's that end in mc end at 6-7 weeks is that week 6 is considered the most crucial in the development of the fetus, when vital neurological and all organs are developing and getting connected. Thus, if anything is not right, this is the moment things get rejected. Sad, but true....

I just wanted you susan and everyone else know how i felt and that i dont think its pure negativity. Its normal and often a subconcious way of the mind trying to shelter our frail hearts!

I have great hopes for 2009 and i wish everyone all the good luck in the world!

, Omi xxx

 

[mayflower]

Having gone through an ivf pg and early mmc, I had extra scans compared with non if ladies, so this is quite revealing and may explain number of losses at 7+weeks.

Scan at 6+3 wks showed no h/b and v small for dates and v low hcg
Scan at 7 wks showed h/b but measuring at 6+0
Small isolated bleed at 7+3
Scan at 7+4 showing mmc

So although the pg somehow started fine, by 6 weeks it had already been going wrong for a while but it took until 7+? for the baby's heart to stop. Then a few more days for the light bleed (but no m/c).

To be truthful, I felt it wasn't right for most of the time - I did not feel the sense of joy and elation that goes with a +ve ivf pg. But without the light bleed I wld never have had the scan at 7+4 showing mmc and may have ended up at my 12 wk scan finding out that the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks.

So you see how when they say stopped growing at 6 wks, my baby actually continued to 7+?, but was always behind.

Maybe this is very common and some ladies actually m/c babies like this (ie ones that were struggling from the start) at 7+ wks, whereas some get to the 12 wk scan which shows that things stopped growing sometime after 6+0?