Does anyone else have gender anxiety?

[divinelove]

Ok I know I am a flawed person and I'm not proud of it but Im really anxious about my baby's gender. With my son I desperately wanted a son and got him (so lucky and blessed). This time round I'm feeling drawn to wanting a little girl. This actually surprised me as before I got pregnant I truly didnt mind. I know its because I am scared I wont cope and so I feel if I have one of each then at least I can stop having babies and just be happy with my gorgeous two. Plus the thought of having two boys scares me. I'm a girly girl and Im worried Im going to be over run by so much boy energy that I wont be able to handle!

I did a gender dna blood test with nimble diagnostics (tell me pink or blue) which they claim is 95% accurate (dubious) and it came back girl although I really dont trust it as many people have got false girl results! (I think these tests are pointless because you never believe them anyway). I also shamefully ordered another dna test from another company (easy dna) just to see if its the same result. I havent got that test back yet. This was really a waste of money that I shouldnt have spent. Sorry I know I'm obsessed and Im really trying to get over this.

The last thing I want is to already be imposing expectations on this beautiful perfect little baby as I know as a mum I am supposed to love unconditionally- and I will I am just sifting through my own issues at present. Anyway I also know that ultrasounds can be unreliable so I need to be prepared for either outcome no matter what I am told throughout the pregnancy.
My Dad died 3 weeks ago and I know he would have loved to have a grand daughter- he already had 3 grandsons (2 from my sis and 1 from me) and my mum desperately wants a grand daughter. I know this is playing on my mind.
Anyway I am hoping for encouraging stories of hope about how great it is having 2 sons and how maybe other people have felt the same but ultimately it didnt matter and they resolved their feelings regardless of the outcome.

I do want to get beyond this. I know this baby chose me to be his/her mum and Im so grateful to be blessed with another perfect bundle. I'm just a bit stuck on this issue. I think I have a few control issues and surrendering to the mysteries of life that I dont understand. Thanks mummies for your words of wisdom xoxooxoxoxo

 

[Ambermichelle]

I was sooo hopeful for a boy for a few reasons and it thought I was going to lose it if I found out I was having a girl. Surprisingly, when the doctor said girl, I didn't lose it and actually became soooo excited! It was the strangest thing, but when I found out girl, I was just so happy to be having a healthy baby. You'll be fine, even if you have another boy. But, it sounds like she's a girl so I wouldn't stress too much!

 

[Rickles]

I'll be honest. I always saw myself having 3 sons. I was a total tomboy, I have 4 brothers - I GET boys! Add into the mix I have a very complicated relationship with my own mother - I WANTED boys!!

Then I had my daughter - I won't lie, I didn't have an epiphany at the 20 week scan when they told me... but over the 19 weeks before she came, I slowly but steadily got super excited about girls clothes, girls names, and well, my baby girl!!

This time, I'd like a boy so I can experience raising both, but I no longer am scared of having a girl and I genuinely mean it when I say I just want a healthy baby!
I would be delighted for M if she got the sister I never had.

I guess what I am saying is, we all have visions/dreams of what we will have. What they might look like and possibly what they will be like. But once babies arrive, you can't imagine your life, your baby, or family in any other way.

Don't beat yourself up, and don't panic xx

 

[moter98]

I have 2 boys. Both times I wanted a girl. I am totally girly girl and thought how will i relate to boys. But I would not change it for the world! My boys are so sweet and they get along so well. They like the same things and I just know they will grow up to be best friends. My own brothers are best friends and I always feel left out from that because we don't have that same type of relationship. Another perk is you don't have to buy anything for baby, we already had everything we needed. I love both my boys and now can't imagine either of them being a girl! That said, if we had had a girl I am not sure that we would have tried for another. I do still want a girl, BUT we will be happy with whatever God gives us. We truly just want a healthy baby, it just seemed to us after we had #2 that our family wasn't complete yet. 3 feels right for us, no matter what gender we have.

 

[babyzoe]

omg I do. I really want a girl, but so far in my pregnancy it's been the opposite of what I had wanted (I wanted to deliver in summer, I'm delivering in winter, to name an example) so I'm convinced that karma is against me. Because of this I'm just assuming that it's a boy. I know that if it turns out to be a boy for real, I'll be bummed but I have to friends who both wanted girls and ended up with boys and they say they wouldn't change a thing. so i'm going to try to not worry about it or think about it until the gender scan.

 

[divinelove]

Thanks so much ladies.
You have made me feel so much better. I definitely know I have control issues and this is one magical event that is simply out of my hands. Sometimes I just dont have the wisdom to know whats best anyway. I just wish I knew one way or the other. Im so impatient!
I think I just have to trust that what is for the best WILL happen and that I will cope with 2 or 3 children -whatever gender we are blessed with.

I have been feeling a bit vulnerable lately as my gorgeous son has been a little bit spirited and headstrong- with morning sickness that hasnt been a good combination so I think Ive just felt overwhelmed and still do actually.... but I know the moment I lay eyes on my baby it will all be worth it.

Thank you and best of luck with all your pregnancies.

 

[BlondeShorty]

I went through this when pregnant with my son. I really really wanted a girl. I had told my best friend I was assuming boy but found myself still leaning towards the thought of a girl. At the gender scan, I was disappointed but didn't let on to anyone.

Over the weeks leading up to my due date, I found myself becoming more and more excited about having a boy and my initial feelings of disappointment disappeared.

This time around, I have less anxiety and know I will be truly happy either way. Both genders have their benefits.

 

[fides]

yes, I'm extremely anxious!!!! I've wanted a girl all four pregnancies now, and each time, the desire's gotten stronger. so wish I had an extra $90 to do an early scan!

oy, hormones!!!

 

[moter98]

Thanks so much ladies.
You have made me feel so much better. I definitely know I have control issues and this is one magical event that is simply out of my hands. Sometimes I just dont have the wisdom to know whats best anyway. I just wish I knew one way or the other. Im so impatient!
I think I just have to trust that what is for the best WILL happen and that I will cope with 2 or 3 children -whatever gender we are blessed with.

I have been feeling a bit vulnerable lately as my gorgeous son has been a little bit spirited and headstrong- with morning sickness that hasnt been a good combination so I think Ive just felt overwhelmed and still do actually.... but I know the moment I lay eyes on my baby it will all be worth it.

Thank you and best of luck with all your pregnancies.

One thing I learned is that EACH child is different, no matter gender. I expected my DS#2 to be like my DS1, and turns out he is total opposite. He is a very good, sweet and content baby, where DS1 was just not happy when he was a baby. Their personalities are also very different. Even if you have another boy, they will be not be the same! Every child is unique. DS1 is what I would say, my difficult child, though I love him dearly and wouldn't change a thing. DS2 is my easygoing, go with the flow, "low maintenance" child.