Does controlled crying work on high needs babies?

[rainbowskin]

My LO is 9 months and still wakes every 2 hours to nurse back to sleep. I have always nursed him in my bed and moved him into his crib once he is in a deep sleep. He refuses to go back into his crib after the first waking and will not nap in his crib so I have always co-slept after his first waking and just let him nap in my bed so he can get some sleep. I can't have him sleep in the bed at all anymore because he wakes up and tries to crawl off. I have tried no cry sleep solution and pu/pd for months and all he does is scream hysterically anytime he is put into the crib awake or drowsy. I am starting to think controlled crying is in order along with gradual night weaning. Since he is so high needs I am not sure if controlled crying will even work..I fear he will scream and cry for hours on end and never catch on. Does anyone have a high needs baby and did you use controlled crying? Did it work or help at all? Advice appreciated.

 

[NotNic]

Rainbowskin - have a look at Noelle's sleep thread. A lot of us have high needs / high spirited babies and we've all tried different techniques. To be honest sleep training is very individual as of course our babies are. After a certain age pupd becomes too stimulating for a lot of babies which is why it tends to become less effective especially once they're on the move. You might also find that you are trying to change too much at the same time. A lot of high need babies are unhappy with change. Personally for us CIO would never work (colic babies don't have a problem with crying hours on end!) but we used a combination of rapid return and increasing response time gaps in a watered down CC style to encourage self-soothing (which is something I know he can do). A baby that doesnt ss yet might need extra help learning that skill. If you post in Noelle's thread, Noelle and some of the others will be able to break down your lo's sleep issues and support you to slowly make changes.

If you do decide traditional cc is worth a try (which tbh if sleep is bad it's unlikely to make things worse and if it really doesn't suit you, doesn't have to be permanent) you may need to try it for around a week - 10 days and be consistent with your approach. A lot of people see improvement around this time, with a blip around day 4/5. If its too distressing then don't feel bad about stopping. Sleep training is to make you all happier and its not worth getting more stressed. Good luck. Xx

 

[Ganton]

Yes, yes and yes. I would say my LO was high needs - wouldn't sleep in his cot, and woke frequently and needed feeding back to sleep when co-sleeping. No other sleep training methods worked so we used CC at around 8-9 months. We saw a good improvement after just a few nights, but it took a while before we were getting consistently better sleep, and we occassionally have to return to a bit of CC. As others will tell you though, consistency is key, and I'm really glad we've stuck with it as my LO now sleeps so much better.

 

[Twister]

My lo was the same she woke every 2 hours or more to be nursed to sleep, nine times out of 10 she wasn't hungry. It was also getting increasingly more difficult to set her back down in her cot and it was very stressful for both me and lo. So when she was 6.5 months we did controlled crying and noticed a difference straight away, she went from waking 2 hourly, so waking just twice, sometimes once and a few nights ago she sttn for the first time since she was about 2 months old. I can also set her own in her cot, leave the room and she will fall asleep on her own without making so much as a peep most of the time. I wouldn't say my lo was high needs during the day, she's very independent and loves playing on her own, but at night she certainly was. It worked for us but its not for everyone.

 

[aliss]

Well, I would say it depends - mine, no. He had severe reflux until 14 months (and a lot of high needs babies are reflux babies) so I would not even try if that was an issue.

 

[albs]

We didn't exactly do controlled crying, but started trying to read his cries. If it was an end of the world I need you cry we went to him. If it was a grumpy wanting to be picked up but nothing actually wrong cry we left him. Ds was very high needs and this worked brilliantly for us.

 

[Noelle610]

If there's not a medical issue, it will very likely work. As aliss said, you don't want to go that route if your baby has reflux, cmpi, etc. as the crying will exacerbate it and make them sleep less than usual!

But, if your baby doesn't suffer from these ailments you can certainly give it a go. With "high needs" babies it does tend to take longer. When sleep training takes longer, parents have a more difficult time being consistent. When parents have a hard time being consistent, sleep training can fail. If you want to do CC, just dive in and be committed to it 100% and I think you will have success.

My advice would be to lengthen checks rather than shorten them. Although it sounds counterintuitive, checks with a "sprited" baby - especially one that is 9 months or older - may serve to stimulate rather than comfort. I'd recommend starting with 5/10/15/20.

 

[rainbowskin]

Thank you sooo much for your responses. He has no reflux or medical issues that I am aware of. He is just very very dependent on being close to mommy and goes crazy with hysterical screaming and crying if I don't nurse him to sleep in the bed each time he wakes. I really need him in the crib from now on for his safety and I know deep down the only way is consistent controlled crying because everything else has failed to work. It helps so much to know I am not alone and it can work for a high needs baby. Noelle, I think you are right on about increased intervals and I will try that. He gets much more worked up with my presence and I've tried shush pat and that made him way worse. Pu/PD worked a little till he became mobile now it just angers him and he won't give up like he used to. Will try controlled crying tonight and ill post in the sleep thread if I have any questions. Thanks again ladies!

 

[Noelle610]

Good luck hun!

 

[canett]

Hello! I am new to this forum; finding it difficult to navigate but I was wondering where can I find Noelle's forum on high need babies and sleep training; I have a high needs 4.5 mths; I am starting to get overwhelmed with him ~ I basically hold him when he is awake (and need to walk around) and hold him when he naps in the morning; so I basically hold him for 12 hours; and he then gives me a break at night but still wakes up for several feeds (more often lately); so I am desperate need for advice... and please no "just suck it up" comments.

 

[sheldonsmommy]

Hello! I am new to this forum; finding it difficult to navigate but I was wondering where can I find Noelle's forum on high need babies and sleep training; I have a high needs 4.5 mths; I am starting to get overwhelmed with him ~ I basically hold him when he is awake (and need to walk around) and hold him when he naps in the morning; so I basically hold him for 12 hours; and he then gives me a break at night but still wakes up for several feeds (more often lately); so I am desperate need for advice... and please no "just suck it up" comments.

Hey hun, welcome

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