Does FOB think i have nothing better to do...

[lou_w34]

.
xx

 

[tinkabells]

I no i hate this, i bet he dont txt thats if he does until later on tonight about 8ish i bet!!!
I hate waiting around for ppl grrrrrrrrrr xxx

 

[lou_w34]

I know! I hate it too!
I expect ill organise to do somthing else and as soon as i do, he will text!

xx

 

[expecting09]

Stuff it, organize something else and you'll have to cancel tomorrow, he should know you need to know in advance when excatly he will be coming. Can't wait to hear what he got for you, and if Scarlett gets the teddy shes been waiiting for x

 

[tinkabells]

Yeah i would arrange for other plans, but let them no, you may need to cancel them, as you do want scarlett to see him, and if he doesnt get intouch, least you've made plans and it wont be a waste of time!!!xxx

 

[sweetlullaby]

Has he been in touch yet? I would contact him and tell him you cant make it. You have better things to do than wonder whether he's going to show or contact you about when he's coming down etc though id be curious to see any presents if he has bothered to buy them! They're all talk no action! Or text him and say if you're still coming down tomorrow then 12am is the only time that suits me or something like that.

 

[lou_w34]

Nopes still not a peep...
I may just text him and say 'if your not gunna bother comming down why dont you just send the stuff down... if you have the time' lol

So annoying!! He brought his new gf xmas presents, and from what i can gather he takes her out all the time... yet his daughter hasnt even had a promised teddy, which is barley even a fiver anyways!

xx

 

[teal]

Hope you hear either way! It can't be easy preparing yourself for him coming down to see Scarlett and then not bothering

I love your new avator picture xx

 

[DizzyMoo]

Don't sit there waiting for him you need to be the one to call the shots here hun, If he says he is coming on 1 day then you need to say what time? & don't take " don't know " for an answer or he'll walk over you & do this quite a lot take it from someone who knows. If he can't specify a time or time between x & y then tell him its tough, Don't sit around waiting for him all day hun it'll annoy the tits off you & it means he's controlling you indirectly.
Also if like today he says he's coming & you dont hear anything i would just do your own thing, i wouldn't bother texting him or ringing as if he was really bothered he would of been in touch sooner making sure you would be in. I'm not being harsh just saying from experience hun .

My oldest is 4 & i split with his dad before i found out i was preg, it didnt work out during preg & when josh was born his " sperm donor " constantly made arrangements to visit him or pick him up, 98% of the arrangements were no shows or cancellations at last minute, he never wanted to be tied down to an arrangement in case something better came up, he'd never cancel ahead of time & i did the same at 1st , i would be ringing/texting to confirm arrangements or make sure hes coming or ask where the fuck he was ... most of the time he just ignored me or gave me a shit ass excuse... wasnt to bad when josh was a baby he didnt understand but i started to get fed up & stressed, i would make arrangements with him to visit , stay in all day & miss out on other things for him not to turn up. People eventually stopped inviting me out or to theirs, I stopped contact with people as they got fed up of me bailing on them due to his dad, I found i was the one pestering joshs dad to see him, when clearly he couldn't be arsed. I was stressed out all the time, & it was giving me migraiines.
When josh was over 2 he started asking for his dad more, & he fully understood when daddy was meant to be coming & then a no show he would cry for him at the window, ok part of it was my fault id have him ready to go , coat on & bags ready etc for me then to say " im sorry baby, daddies held up , or poorly " making excuses i felt guilty. I kept stopping contact only to give in again wks later & i was part of that problem, until feb 2009 & i finally said no more, id seen josh cry once to much & i stopped contact once & for all.

Now hun im not saying thats the way yours will go but just explaining what can happen & it does so very easily, its heartbreaking & does stress you out .

This time round with jax his dad hasn't even been in touch since i was 29wks preg & ive already told his mum if he dont wanna know fine but if he does he fucks up just once & he's blown it, im not going through it & watching another son hurt. As it is he dont wanna know at all.

Really hun , you tell him whats what, then you can sort your own plans & he fits in around you. If he's even 5 minutes late & hasnt been in touch id go out or pretend to be out, that way in future if he really is bothered he will do his utmost to get in touch in future & he'll know he cant walk over you.

I feel so strong about parents who mess about with their children coz ive seen it thats all xxxx

 

[sweetlullaby]

i agree completely with what dizzymoo has said! none of us want that in a couple of years time! well done you for putting your foot down!!xx

 

[purpledahlia]

yup i agree with dizzy, hope u told him where to shove it, if he cant say a time nd stick to it.. his loss. x

 

[lou_w34]

Your all right and i know it, i just wanted scarlett to have that chance to get to know him and see him

He hasnt text/called or shown up as of yet, so me and scarlett are off into town to buy ourselves something pretty ... as soon as she stops eating that is, such a greedy baby! lol

xx

 

[teal]

Did you hear from him?

Hope you both enjoyed going into the town xx

 

[lou_w34]

No we didnt, im not gunna bother to waste my energy and text him to see why... he's not worth it!

xx

 

[tinkabells]

Hey love, i saw ya status on fb, its his loss, you gave him a chance and he blow it!!!
are you taking him to csa? xxx

 

[teal]

You're right - he's not worth it! xx

 

[sweetlullaby]

He blew it???! what a complete arsehole!!! he should have made the effort!

 

[lou_w34]

Yeps his loss completley! Its a good thing shes way too young to understand any of it!

Im in two minds over the csa... Id rather just have him out of our lifes completley... but then i think why should he get away with it?? Ahhhh i dunno

xxx

 

[sweetlullaby]

oh lou i know exactly where your coming from about csa im in two minds as well part of me is saying why should he get away with not supporting his child the other louder part is saying i want nothing to do with him and he's made my lifereally difficult already he's probably going to take me to court for access etc and it will look way worse for him if he hasnt provided financially lol then theirs pride...i dont want his money i am fine on my own type thing. I reckon i contact csa and it will make things worse with FOB as in he'll contact me etc but still he should be providing for his LO!!

 

[lou_w34]

My thoughts exactly!
Its sooo hard!
I think if he's not going to bother, then i just want him out of our lifes for good, no looking back, end of story.
I dont need his money, i can cope fine by myself, anything he gave me would have been a bonus.

As much as i think he shouldnt get away with it... id rather he just went away more.

xxx