Does he hate her?

[bloodbinds]

My sister has a little boy about to turn 2 and he seems to not like her and it's causing her a lot of upset.

She is a good mother and very loving towards him and his brother (3 years) but every time she tries to hug him or kiss him he constantly turns away and she is either ignored or he calls for daddy. Every time she tries to touch him she is swatted away by him or hit. When she is with him he is constantly mis-behaving and grumpy and pulling tantrums, trying to hit her, bite or kick her etc.


What do you think it is? She thinks he might hate her. At first they worried there might be something wrong mentally with him but it's only her he does it with and no one else. Any advice or opinions i can pass onto her would be great

 

[dali]

aww that must be horrible for her

one thing i am sure of is that he doesnt hate her.

but i dont know what to suggest, if she is very very affectionate with him and he isnt a cuddly type of boy then perhaps he feels suffocated by her attempts to cuddle him etc...? if you get my meaning ... ( sorry i dont mean it in a bad way , but am at a loss as to how to phrase it better , so please dont be offended )
or maybe he wants to spend more time with his dad and pushes her away as a result ?

sorry dont really know , but she is his mum , and im sure that he loves her loads whatever the reason for his pushing her away.

maybe she could spend some extra one to one time with him to help build that bond ? must be so upsetting for her thought , hugs to her

 

[Moraine]

Is she a little too "soft" with him?

I only ask that as my 2.5 year old nephew behaves exactly the same way towards his mother. I believe alot of it has to do with him having way too much leeway with his behaviour. Meaning not enough consequences for his actions. Mind you, he is also autistic, but I don't think it is the autism making him behave that way, but a lack of discipline. (No I don't mean smacking, just discipline in general, and stronger boundaries.)

 

[tina_h75]

It might just be because he is growing up. Apparently its quite common for toddlers to start pushing their moms away and looking for affection from their dads as they are just adjusting to new emotions and how to handle them. I doubt very much he hates his mommy, he is just probably enjoying attention and affection from another source at the moment. Give it a bit of time and he will soon be wanting his mommys hugs again.

 

[babe2ooo]

maybe ignoring him might help, maybe shes just trying to hard and once shes stop he might think hmmm wots going on and then he might want more cuddles, is she with him all the time while daddys at work cause it might just be that hes with her all the time that when daddy get back its all about daddy for a bit,

 

[Moraine]

maybe ignoring him might help, maybe shes just trying to hard and once shes stop he might think hmmm wots going on and then he might want more cuddles, is she with him all the time while daddys at work cause it might just be that hes with her all the time that when daddy get back its all about daddy for a bit,

IMO behaviour like hitting/biting/kicking should never be ignored. Things like that should always have consequences, whether it is time out, or something taken away or what have you. If it is ignored, then kids will just assume it's okay. Just my opinion.

 

[Dinoslass]

Oh, how awful for her. She must be feeling dreadful.
Can't it still be a mental thing, perhaps it comes out with her because she is the one he should be most attached to and cares for him most? I know children who are adopted and have attachment issues can behave like this.