Does it ever stop?

[hanni]

The unsolicited advice?
the unwanted and "helpful" tips?
The "why don't you try this".
The "well I didn't do it like that!"
The "why are you doing that"?
The "the guidelines are stupid! I didn't follow them"
Aaargh I'm doing to scream!! People who think they're an expert on your baby because they have/had their own. You may be an expert on your babies but you're not an expert on MY baby and noone knows MY baby better than I do!

Does it ever end? 😩
Don't get me wrong I appreciate helpful advice when I need it and ask for it but when people are being so condescending about the most basic of things it's just rude.

Rant over 😧

 

[MindUtopia]

I'm not sure it ever stops, but it does get better. Once they get a bit older, everyone is doing something different and there's an expectation I think that there's a much greater variation of what works for a given kid. Also, you just get more confident in how you parent, so people back off a bit. Some of our family members thought the way we parented was crazy. They'd never heard of such things and I got told on more than one occasion that I was "going to kill my baby" with my parenting choices. She's 2.5 now (still alive!) and very happy, confident, and loving. Now that they see the pay off for some of our choices (which they thought were crazy) they mostly keep their mouths shut. So yes, I think it does get easier and you also get a thicker skin too. Though the worst comments I've gotten on my parenting choices recently are from friends who don't even have kids but are starting to think about getting pregnant because they "would never do X" or "it'll be easier for us because I'm sure I'll baby with sleep through the night from the start". I just smile and let them talk.

 

[AK89]

I'm not sure it ever stops, but it does get better. Once they get a bit older, everyone is doing something different and there's an expectation I think that there's a much greater variation of what works for a given kid. Also, you just get more confident in how you parent, so people back off a bit. Some of our family members thought the way we parented was crazy. They'd never heard of such things and I got told on more than one occasion that I was "going to kill my baby" with my parenting choices. She's 2.5 now (still alive!) and very happy, confident, and loving. Now that they see the pay off for some of our choices (which they thought were crazy) they mostly keep their mouths shut. So yes, I think it does get easier and you also get a thicker skin too. Though the worst comments I've gotten on my parenting choices recently are from friends who don't even have kids but are starting to think about getting pregnant because they "would never do X" or "it'll be easier for us because I'm sure I'll baby with sleep through the night from the start". I just smile and let them talk.

Haha.. Just out of curiosity, what were you doing to warrant your parents saying you were going to kill your baby?!

 

[Cattia]

I'm on baby number three now and nobody offers me any kind of advice now as they mistakenly assume that I know what I'm doing! Just nod and smile!

 

[Taurus8484]

My mother doesn't stop....its annoying...after 2 babies I think I know what im doing.

The thing i find most annoying is when other people, hubby and MIL mainly say oh he is hungry because he is crying. Um no...he is tired not hungry....you sure they say......yes i know my own baby....

 

[Larkspur]

Probably depends on your own situation and personality.

Only my mother ever tried to give me unsolicited advice; perhaps that's because she's more hardened than most to my death-stare. I think most people would be too scared to make suggestions to me!

 

[cjwn]

Ha! You learn to just smile and nod and sound interested while mentally filing suggestions and advice under "ignore". This gets easier as you become more confident. I also deploy a 'death stare' type expression in certain scenarios which keep people (MIL) quiet. Or I pretend not to hear them.

Me - He needs a sleep.
MIL - Are you sure he's tired?
Me - (to baby) Come on sleepy head let's go try for a nap!
Then I'm all smug-face when I return without said baby who is sleeping soundly.

 

[TTC First]

This is what I really don't look forward to. We are foster parents for infants so we have been raising infants for a couple years now, I think that we know what we are doing. We are now having our first and I am expecting all the "helpful hints" from family just as if this is the first baby we have even seen. MIL has been giving all sorts of "helpful hints" during pregnancy:
You have to eat organic.
Make sure you climb the stairs regularly for exercise
Try reading and reciting mathematics to the baby (before its born) to increase intelligence
Sleep with a book next to your belly so the baby absorbs the information

There was one post birth suggestion that I will take her up on. She said that a mothers job for the weeks following birth is to feed the baby....and do nothing else!

 

[laura109]

nope. it never stops. people told me if i went for a walk id go into labour. yet my midwife told me to rest. when everyones told you what you should call it, buy it, if you need this or should find out that .... they are born..

then its dont hold them to much. dont get into bad habbits. now shes sleeping through the night its she should be in her own room.... she needs less milk.

the who debate of why she has the odd bad day between me and my mum is the best. its always because shes had too much fuss or shes too spoilt.

so nope. so far it doesn't stop. yet ive got a really good baby!! xx

 

[cupcaker]

My partner's family (who were the main pains) all shut up with that type of thing when the second baby came along. It was almost like they couldn't pass any comment on her, because I'd already managed to rear one child to 18 months. Now I hear VERY little comments from anyone about either child.

 

[Rachel89]

I received a lot of unsolicited advise with DS, especially being a young mom seemed to have made it worse.

Currently pregnant with baby number 2. A friend of mine is a young mom too, and she received a lot of it, even with her second. She said it was as if people completely ignored the fact that she is already raising another child (she is a SAHM as well).


Honestly I am going to imply the ignore and death stare, Just act as if I literally didn't hear what they were saying. I have no energy to explain myself, or to 'correct' them and then do more explanation and them still insisting etc. I am honestly done with that lol.

I am a crunchy mommy, not fully though, and that alone makes me weird to my family they do and did things very differently. Explaining anything to them is useless as they still remain with their way of thinking. (they don't believe in putting children in carseats especially not newborns, babywearing (is bad for baby), solids before 4 months, letting baby cry it out, baby manipulates you, not holding baby, etc. that is how they think which is the polar opposite of me).

 

[laura109]

i agree... my mum is from a generation of dont hold them too much or they will become spoilt and demanding! i get really fed up of the constant lay her down to sleep dont hold her. they are babies for about 12 months before they will become active and less likely to want cuddles all day. i say enjoy it whilst you can.

some comments will probably always wind you up but remember its your baby and everyone thinks different things. people always think they have the answer but they dont. x