Doesn't get easier

[mlyn26]

I am six months pregnant and so happy but the anniversary of losing my first baby is next week. I feel like i should be permanently happy that i am pregnant with what is hopefully a sticky one but i feel really upset today thinking 2 years ago i lost a baby i already loved dearly. I also found my previous losses almost actually prevents me from being excited. It has removed all the innocence etc from it. Does anyone else find they feel similar? X

 

[Charlee]

Completely, I found out I was pregnant on what would have been my angel babies due date. Although I am really happy about a healthy baby growing inside me, I think about the baby I lost alot and still worry constantly which I never did in my first Pregnancy. I get some strange looks when I say I'm thankful for morning sickness if it means high hormone levels and a healthy baby.

 

[beth30]

My friend who is pregnant does not understand. Actually alot of women don't understand. They post things on Facebook like crazy. VERY Early.. pregnancy tests, early scans.... I can't do that. I can't do anything like normal pregnant women. I can't even love the baby growing inside of me... I try, but I am so afraid of something happening, and I know if I love and put alot into it that I could be more let down if something would happen. It sounds horrible to some people, but to ladies like us it is the only defense we have.

 

[mlyn26]

Very true. I just want it to be my due date and baby here safely. X

 

[Charlee]

My first pregnancy I was so naive and announced it at 6 weeks, I was oblivious to how common MC were etc and after my loss I had to tell people which made it all harder. Even now I keep receipts for things and get panicked if I don't feel lousy for one day, despite the fact I'm 14 weeks tomorrow.

 

[shirlls]

Absolutely! I am almost 19 weeks after having had 2 early mcs before and even though I am now well into my 2nd trimester, it doesn't get any easier. However we must think positive and keep calm for our LO.

Sorry to hear about your losses and that you have an anniversary this week . My due date of my first pregnancy which I miscarried last July would be this Tuesday and it is so hard.

Take care and wishing you a healthy pregnancy!

xxxx

 

[Charlee]

Healthy pregnancy wishes to you girls x

 

[mlyn26]

And you too x

 

[Neversaynever]

Mlyn...

I have been broken with the losses....my first baby's due date was September and I lost my second baby two weeks before that. February...was a year since I lost my first and on Tuesday of last week was my second baby's due date and again I was broken. All normal...it is the horror of being PAL's.

I think the innocence is gone and we just want to get to the finish line with everything in place

We never forget our lost babies..whther we are pregnant again or not

for your due date and for everyone else too



XxX

 

[Hellylou]

I'm 15+2 and due on 11th September, having lost my baby boy at 16 weeks on 10th September last year, so it's going to be a strange bittersweet time in September if all goes well this time. I could end up having this one on the anniversary of my loss...

I am just taking each day as it comes. So far so good, and I just have to have faith that this time will be different

 

[Neversaynever]

I'm 15+2 and due on 11th September, having lost my baby boy at 16 weeks on 10th September last year, so it's going to be a strange bittersweet time in September if all goes well this time. I could end up having this one on the anniversary of my loss...

I am just taking each day as it comes. So far so good, and I just have to have faith that this time will be different

Sorry for your loss I have the same dilemma...this baby is due two days after the date of the loss of my second baby and I am hoping that all goes well too

XxX

 

[mlyn26]

It is weird how that happens. This baby is due 1 week after I lost baby 2.
Let's hope we all have the strength and a positive pregnancy/birth to help us through all these emotions x

 

[KozmikKitten]

It is totally normal to feel this way, for all of us!
I have been struggling with this pregnancy since the beginning. I even broke down crying when my MIL gave me baby clothes as a gift, bc I was so worried the baby would never get to wear them.
And, like several of you, the dates are so ironic. My mc'd baby was due March 28...and my SIL will be having a c-section that day, which makes the date even more painful; to be reminded every year when celebrating my nephews birthday. Also, I am due Aug 1, and my mc started on Aug 5.
Its just plain hard.

 

[mlyn26]

It is so hard. We can never forget and all these dates are so heartbreaking and meaningful for us. My friend' s mum still gets upset on the day she miscarried over 30 years ago x

 

[mamaduke]

I m/c'ed last February, and come September, when I was due with that LO, I struggled a bit. Even though I was going through another pregnancy and hoping that this would be my rainbow baby, I still felt awful about the one that m/c'ed.

Then again this February, I felt just as sad. I knew that it would be tough.

I've always been a bit nervous with this pregnancy, and even now, I have a lot of worrisome "what if"s that cross my mind.

My saving grace is that if I feel worried, I have people to turn to. My mom had a few m/c's, as did my BFF's wife. Both of them have been very supportive of me when I've wanted to break down and cry.

And with my cousin and a friend both having their babies recently, I worry that mine will never come out. (I'll be 39 weeks tomorrow.)

 

[mlyn26]

Not long for you now!
It's good you have people around you. I don't actually have anyone close to me who experienced the same. The only person was my mother in law but she passed away 2 weeks before Xmas x