Donor egg due to bad quality egg?

[stacergirl]

Hi ladies! Based on the results of my last 2 ivf cycles, my RE suggests donor eggs if we would like more children because he believes the quality of my eggs might be my issue. I do have low AMH and endometriosis as well. So I wanted your experience, and/or advice please!

1. I'm wondering if quality was an issue for you, did a specific protocol work for you with your own eggs? If so, what protocol? My last cycle was Lipton flare which was the worst, and the 2 prior were Menopur and follistim (those 2 cycles varied some what though with doses).

2. If you used donor eggs, what was your experience? I will have 1 biological son as well, so if you have any advice to offer in regards to that I would greatly appreciate it!

We just want one more child, I don't mean to sound greedy, it took us 2.5 years to get pregnant with my son, so this has bwen a journey for us. Thanks in advance!

Thanks so much!

 

[2have4kids]

You don't sound greedy at all. 4 kids would be our dream family, it took us 5 years to get to be pregnant with our first child.
I've done 3 donor egg cycles, one with Reprofit in Brno, Czech Republic and a fresh & FET with Serum in Athens. I do recommend donor egg ivf if you wish for more children. It's more straightforward than ivf since you aren't being stimmed, all you need to do is downreg, take the estrogen & progesterone to grow your lining and pop over for transfer. We had fantastic holidays in both Prague and Greece -some of the most amazing memories to boot!

I'd recommend Reprofit over other clinics. They have set schedules, one of the largest donor banks for an excellent match, and low cost with very high success rates.

 

[Mrs G]

Hi
Our stories are very similar. we had icsi in 2009 and now have a 5yo. I fell pg naturally a yr later but mc at 7w. We then used our frosties, bfn. Over the next yr we started 3 cycles on varying protocols, 1 cancelled, 1 no eggs to collect, 1 eggs too poor to use. It was then decided we had to use donor eggs. We did one cycle whee we shared with another patient but in hindsight it was a bad decision. Her eggs weren't great quality, although on paper her amh was good and she didn't respond well. We had 2 fairly poor 2 day embies transferred but bfn. We then switched to a different clinic again and used an altruistic donor with kids of her own and a successful donation history. The cycle was easy, like a fet, just down regs to get in sync with donor. We got 10 eggs, 5 got to blast and we had just one transfered. I'm now coming up 32w pg with our son. And we have 4 blast frosties.

Although I am eternally grateful for what our donor did I am this baby's mum. I am carrying him and I don't see him as a different to our daughter who is genetically mine. I know opinion is very divided but we have no intention of telling either of our children where they came from. They are our children and siblings to each other. I did some research into epigenetics which I found really useful. I'll see if i can find you a link.

There's a lot to think about. For us it was a fairly easy decision, our desire for another child and for a sibling for dd far outweighed any worries. Please don't hesitate to ask any more questions.
Xxx

 

[Mrs G]

/fromdamagedtodonor.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/epigenetics.html

Struggling to post a link, sorry, but this site summarises epigentics relevant to donor eggs. Xx

 

[stacergirl]

Ladies. Thanks so much for the replies. I have given a lot of thought to both of your posts. You both make me feel much better about it.

2have4kids-congrats on your pregnancy! Twins? Will that make 3 for your family?! That's awesome you were able to make vacations out of your donor egg cycles! We probably won't be able to do that because dh is away right now, I may be cycling without him since I'll have his sperm frozen! What kind of information did they give you about the women who donated their eggs? Do you get pictures and/or medical history?

Mrs g-congrats to you!!! thanks for that link, I did do a lot of reading, and it makes a lot of sense. It makes me feel a lot more like I would be making the baby as well even though the donor only laid the groundwork. We too want a second child and a sibling for ds, but I just want to make sure I'm doing what's right. What kind of information did you get about your donor? We haven't gotten access to our donor site so I'm just trying to figure out what to expect!

 

[2have4kids]

Hi stacergirl, I wish it were twins. We got a singleton naturally just before our 7th IVF. Reprofit gives you eye, hair color, height, schooling, and age. They use proven donors too. I wish you all the best with it!

 

[Mrs G]

Hi
The info we were given was weight, height, skin colour/tone, eye colour, build, previous donation history, own children/pregnancies, interests and hobbies. We did turn down one donor as she was much shorter and darker complexion than me but we're just offered the next one who was a very good match.
Xx

 

[stacergirl]

Hi ladies, thAnk you! So neither of you got medical history? In that case I wouldn't tell the baby either. My sole purpose of telling him/her wAs so they knew their medical history. I scheduled lab work and counseling for next week as we are required to have a clearance. So looks like we're moving forward. I'm just scared! Not sure why, lol!

 

[2have4kids]

Stacergirl I think the medical stuff with these girls is pretty small ie they screen the heck out of them so there shouldn't be any big things that pop up. Do ask though, and do read real life stories about donor egg/sperm ivf children before you decide to tell your kids, it's pretty surprising how strongly people feel about this issue.

 

[stacergirl]

Thanks, that's helpful advice and exactly the feedback I was looking for. I hadn't thought about looking at stories like that. I read some yesterday. And of course that bothers me too, I wouldn't want to make a selfish decision to jeopardize his/hers happiness.

Does it feel weird to have someone else's egg out inside of you? That's another fear of mine. I'm probably being stupid about it, but I just have to ask. Thanks so much!

 

[2have4kids]

Thanks, that's helpful advice and exactly the feedback I was looking for. I hadn't thought about looking at stories like that. I read some yesterday. And of course that bothers me too, I wouldn't want to make a selfish decision to jeopardize his/hers happiness.

Does it feel weird to have someone else's egg out inside of you? That's another fear of mine. I'm probably being stupid about it, but I just have to ask. Thanks so much!

Not in the slightest, it's yours, your baby, your way forward to having a family. Epigenetics is a neat thing. The main thing I was worried about with adopting is that someone who knows they don't want their baby may not eat well or may do things I wouldn't do that jeopardize the long term health of the baby. When it's your embryo to take care of, you are in full control and have much influence over many things (IE they know how detrimental long term effects of stress can be on a fetus with pregnant mom with loads of stress hormones running through her veins). As well, they've linked low iron and B vitamins to ADD, ADHD, high sugar and exceeding a normal calorie range to a HUGE direct correlation to obesity in children. Low Vit D to chronic depression. OMG, I'm on a handful of supplements, self imposed outside sunshine time and Vit D supplements, exercise and a very careful diet during this pregnancy. It's all up to you.

Including the psychological well being of your child once born. Which is why I think it's really good to get informed information before you decide to not be truthful with them about their beginnings!

 

[Pinkie3]

Hi stacergirl, I wish it were twins. We got a singleton naturally just before our 7th IVF. Reprofit gives you eye, hair color, height, schooling, and age. They use proven donors too. I wish you all the best with it!

2have, I had no idea you had fallen pregnant naturally. From discussions on the other threads I assumed this was a DE at Reprofit. After everything you went through this must have been an unbelievable but amazing surprise, wow. Do you mind me asking why you went down the DE route, were your eggs an issue? Also do you have any idea as to why the DE cycles didn't result in a pregnancy?

 

[Pinkie3]

Stacergirl, I am sorry to hear of your ivf struggles. 2have and MrsG have given you some great information. They were also very helpful to me when I was looking into my DE cycle.

Its a tough decision at first as there is so much to think about and get your head around. Its also very emotional. But once you have made the decision to go ahead all those fears disappear and excitement about the prospect of getting pregnant takes over, well for me it has anyway.

Good luck with making your decisions. I am cycling with a clinic in Greece and co-ordinating with an English fertility nurse (she works with a number of clinics across Spain & Greece), check out her website if you want any more information. https://ivftreatmentabroad.com/

 

[2have4kids]

Hi stacergirl, I wish it were twins. We got a singleton naturally just before our 7th IVF. Reprofit gives you eye, hair color, height, schooling, and age. They use proven donors too. I wish you all the best with it!

2have, I had no idea you had fallen pregnant naturally. From discussions on the other threads I assumed this was a DE at Reprofit. After everything you went through this must have been an unbelievable but amazing surprise, wow. Do you mind me asking why you went down the DE route, were your eggs an issue? Also do you have any idea as to why the DE cycles didn't result in a pregnancy?

Hi Pinkie, yes it was a total shock. We were signed up for adoption, I was awaiting AF to come and when it didn't I was so mad at my broken body. Swearing I went into the bathroom to waste another test, then I was mad that the test was positive because it would mess up the timing for my 7th DE IVF My mind has truly been over having my own kids for a very very long time.

The DE IVF's didn't work because I have immune issues. It took me mc'ing the twins (one at 5 weeks, the other at 8 weeks) that I got pregnant with at Reprofit to want to have a D&C to test the 'products of conception' to see what was going on with the embryos. As well I contacted Dr Beers clinic in California to carry out blood testing for immune issues. I think many ladies with unknown IF actually have immune issues keeping them from either implantation or cause recurrent mc.

I've only ever got pregnant 1 other time where I mc'd at 8 weeks as well. The two times I've ever got pregnant naturally was when I was exercising & dieting like a mad woman. I was diagnosed in 2012 with DOR and less than 5% chance of conceiving using my own eggies. My clinic though didn't really push IVF they did IUI, didn't tell me about using Chlomid, so I wound up with only my last IUI cycle having decent ovulation. When I mc'd my first natural pregnancy they said they had tested me for clotting issues, turns out Dr Beers clinic tested me for the same clot test and theirs came up positive, my home clinic told me nothing was wrong

Then we waited 8 months for them to do an IVF and they did a protocol that was standard to 95% of their patients (not really geared for DOR ladies). So I asked them to do a second regular IVF geared more for DOR and I still didn't respond. Then I had the DE IVF in Brno set up within 2 weeks of that failure (helps to have something to look forward to!) My home clinic charged me far more than any international clinic ever has and only gave me max 15 min appointments to speak to the doctors. They only allow you 1 phone call per day, they charge for each ultrasound (even though our government covers them), in my opinion they were crooks. Then when I checked out DE IVF (they only do frozen egg DE IVF) with them they would only give me the stats for clinical pregnancy until I asked to speak to the manager to get the live birth stats. Live birth with frozen egg DE IVF is less than 30% successful with them - something that SKP never did hear about because they don't advertise or want to tell you about. SKP argued with me telling me I was wrong, oh dear! I wonder how many other people believe they have high rates of success based on getting a simple bfp on a stick (and then go on to mc). Their DE IVF is around $30K/try for 6 eggies. $25K for the eggs and another ~$5K for their fees (satellite monitoring, ultrasounds, etc). So we decided the statistical rates are MUCH better along with the prices in Prague and had a wonderful vacation out of it. They were super attentive and professional - I couldn't say enough good things about them even though I was unfortunate enough to mc twins from my beautiful donor lady.

But for anyone who tries a fresh DE IVF and fails I HIGHLY recommend getting immune testing done. Crystal did the testing and has Natural Killer Cells and PC had this done too and was positive for known issues. Only because we were treated for immune issues were we able to carry babies to term. It's something I find the ladies in the LTTTC boards simply don't want to talk about If we can't have a second or third child naturally I'll be booking another trip back to Czech republic to try another round of DE IVF. I have full confidence in them!

 

[Pinkie3]

Wow 2have, what a journey so far, you definitely have some stories to share with your children and grandchildren. Have you been treated for immune issues to help maintain this pregnancy?

I've not been tested for high NK cells but on my last cycle I did take steroids and clexane to see if it would help (my clinic didn't do the testing themselves) but it still didn't make any difference. I've never been able to get pregnant which is why I believe its just my egg quality. Although I have enquired at my nearest hospital (which is not very near) about the NK test but I am not in a position to have the test at the moment because of the requirements and the fact I am about to cycle. If for any reason this DE cycle doesn't work then I will definitely go for the testing, although annoyingly I have to wait at least 3 bleeds before they test. Fingers crossed this wont be required.

Thanks for sharing that story, its you ladies that always help me keep the faith and hope.

 

[stacergirl]

2have-were finally almost getting access to the database of donor eggs, so it looks like we are moving forward! I'm wondering if I should get tested for immunity issues though? Or would you not assume it has anything to do with that since I carried a baby to term? I have had 2 miscarriages, and 1 egg didn't take (that was the outcome of the 4 eggs transferred), but the last cycle my cells didn't even get fertilized. So maybe that does mean it's more of DOR than immune system problems? I guess I'm just curious now after having read your story!

Pinkie-agreed that once you get past your fears you get excited! I'm already feeling that way! Wishing you the best!

Ladies-what we're some of the top items you used to select your DE? I've been doing some research on this and it's hard because I don't feel like I should be the one picking and of course I worry I'll make the wrong decision. So I was just wondering if you had any advice! Thanks!!!

 

[2have4kids]

Hi Stacergirl, immune testing is up to you. It can be expensive so maybe you want to try a fresh DE cycle first? With the characteristics, it was important to us to get a tall lady at least my height (5'9) and both our eye colour is green. DH has briwn hair and mine is blond so we didn't care about hair colour. DH has a phd in sciences, I have a degree in sciences and a BFA and we're both athletic & artistic so education & interests were important too.

The Coordinator seemed to feel that O- blood type would be of great interest to us but we knew we were going to be open & honest with our children so hiding the blood type wasn't ever an issue-way more interested in a physical & educational match.

Try picturing your future children and seeing them in your minds' eye as grown ups, how do you want to see them? I saw tall kids with green sparkly eyes and an interest in art/science (Although I strongly feel the intetests can be nurtured).

Glad to hear you're getting closer to your goal!! Do let us know how things go xx

 

[stacergirl]

Thanks so much! I so appreciate your responses. May I ask Why your nurse suggested o- blood type? Is that a combination of you and your dh blood type? It's interesting that you mentioned that, I was wondering if the blood type mattered as I reviewed the preview only database. Should I consider a de with my blood type? Would there be a compatability issue and if so would it be with mine and the DE, or the De and mine? It's confusing since there's 3 blood types involved now.

I'm anxious to get full access to the database so I can learn more about these DEs. I'm thinking blue eyes for sure since me and dh and ds have blue eyes. i don't really know my heritage other than English and German so I'm looking for that as well. But wasn't sure what else is important. Did you and your dh look and choose together?

Thanks again!!
Btw were actually using frozen eggs, they give us 6 and if none of those make it to blasts then we get 6 more at no charge. How much was your clinic going to charge for the 6 frozen eggs if you don't mind me asking.

 

[2have4kids]

Are you doing your DE in America? I almost found it more difficult to pick a lady when we thought we were going to do a cycle in the USA. I'm much more picky with looks and glad I had a coordinator sorting that for me lol. We sent our photos to Reprofit in Czech Rep and they picked a match for us, you only get the details, age, characteristics and education in Europe. Don't get to see photos. I did see our donor as we were walking to the clinic though. I felt terrible for her, she could barely walk after the egg retrieval her boyfriend/husband was having to help her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and say thank you. She had a big head of blond hair on her, my height and green eyes. Extremely close match!

DH and I are both O-, so I don't need a rhesis shot with this pregnancy. But with my DE cycle I needed one as the blood type was positive. If you aren't going to tell your children they are from DE IVF you'd better match your blood type. There are so many ways kids find out about DE/DS IVF and this is one of them. But I'm very against being dishonest with children about their beginnings so if I ever had to go that route I'd make a solid base so there's be no way the info would come out and upset them when they're older.

We both have Irish/Scottish roots so we have pretty Celtic names picked, nothing finalized yet but here's the list:
For a girl potentially McKenzie Hadleigh Or Bronwynn McKinley back up middle names are McKenna, Keltie, McKaela, Harlow, and DH loves Rowan - I hate it.
For a boy: Maclean Callaghan or McCallan Lochlan
Kirk is our last name, hopefully those names aren't too weird!

 

[Mrs G]

Hi
For me past history was important. Our donor has 2 children of her own and 2 successful donations. Height and eye colour too.
Xx