"Don't have a baby, they scream"

[bunnyg82]

Arrghhh!! That's what my mother in law just said to me!!! Arghh I am in such a bad mood now! It's just frigging annoying! She said that today she was left with a baby and it just screamed and screamed "so don't have children". It's so upsetting when she says things like this. I don't know if she means it or not but she says it as if she means it.

I said to my hubby "our children won't be screaming will they", trying to draw him into the conversation and his mum said to him "don't have children" - he didn't bother saying anything. I just wish he'd take the opportunity to say something back even if it's just "but I want to have children" or something. I am so worried that my mum-in-law isn't gonna be happy for us when we do have children that I try and say stuff to hint that we want kids, but I don't know if she picks up on it.

Oh well, rant over! Thing is, hubby knows he's pissed me off but he's not bothered about trying to find out why. Maybe I am overreacting!

 

[Serene123]

Your children will scream but you'll love them none-the-less!

 

[bunnyg82]

exactly - she's had three! I was just saying the "ours won't scream" in a joky way as I was trying to get the point that we are going to have children.

I did feel like saying to her that her children would have screamed, but I just don't know whether to bother really. I just really want our children to be wanted not only by us, but by our family too!

 

[jackiea85]

Don't listen to your MIL. Yes they scream and cry but they also giggle, smile, babble and are definitely definitely worth every second of screaming! It's not her choice whether you have babies or not xx

 

[toffee87]

grrrr!

 

[Cinnamon]

That's true, the good news is you're in charge and not her and she'll just have to accept and even love your kids when they come along...

 

[Aria]

Sounds like she's being a baby who doesn't want your and your son's attention refocused on a REAL baby.

 

[Blob]

Your OH sounds like he didnt want to be drawn into an arguement MIL arent meant to be nice and say nice things ha ha ha!! We need them to be horrible so we can bitch about them all the time
Dont worry you'll love your baby anyway!!

 

[Amygdala]

Aw, that's a shame she's like that. But I think you're on the right path trying to get her used to the thought. Have you talked to your OH about this? Maybe if he knew how much it upsets you to think that she may really not want you to have kids then he'd talk to her or at least respond to situations like that one?
I can understand that it upsets you but I wouldn't worry too much either. I'm sure, whatever she says now, once the kids are here she'll love them no matter what. And even if she doesn't turn out to be a fairytale grandma, your kids will still get all the love they need from your and your OH and others in the family. Silly old MIL...

 

[bunnyg82]

Thanks everyone. Amy - I did speak to him about it a long time ago, but I think I will speak to him again soon. We're having a bit of bad communication at the moment and winding each other up so I will try and sort that out this weekend and have a good chat with him about how I am feeling. I don't think he will ever have a chat to her about it as he's not real good with things like this, but I think he might respond when I'd like him to.

I am probably just over-reacting but I think because my family were never that interested in us as kids, I don't want the same for our children. I guess I will love my children so much that I will want all my family to love them too!

 

[lozzy21]

Just tell her to stop being a miserable old cow

 

[bunnyg82]

Just tell her to stop being a miserable old cow

haha! Thanks Lozzy! I do wish I could be more honest and just say it how it is when she says stuff like that to me!

 

[lozzy21]

No probs mil were put on this earth to give us hell, make us miserable and give us someting to bitch about. Appologies to anyone who has a nice mil, the rare breed that they are

 

[bunnyg82]

the thing is with mine is that she can be so so lovely and thoughtful and one of those people that will do anything for anyone, but sometimes she really does annoy me - but then I guess it wouldn't be right if we got on all the time!! Ha!

 

[mikababy]

Oh, my MIL is really dinky and nice and sweet (although her fussing and worrying about e'thing does drive me a bit nuts sometimes!).

With regards to screaming things, my little parrot screeches and screams when she is grumpy 'cos I haven't given her enough snuggles and wants even more attention, and then my cockatiels will start shrieking just for the sheer fun of it, and that makes a REAL racket. Still love their little feathered heads to bits though. Am sure it will be the same with our bubba.

 

[AppleBlossom]

Well... they do! Lol but you get used to it and you will still love them the same!

 

[mikababy]

Bexy, your little Gracey looks gorgeous and very happy too!!

 

[tasha41]

Children do scream without exceptions Maybe she was just voicing her frustration with her experience with that baby that she was with? Who knows- MILs are tricky creatures

I'm sure she will be thrilled when you guys have babies, from my experience about 90% of women love babies. Strangers, women you don't know, will stop you to look at your baby. Grandmas will beg you to let the baby come over to be babysat so they get the baby all to themselves! Women you know, friends of the family, coworkers, etc. will go nuts when you visit.. and LOVE to cuddle babies.

 

[calm]

I know what you mean, my MIL can be very thoughtful and does loads of things for me, and then other times she can be soooo annoying. And even though I have a great hubby, sometimes I just think men are on other planets. If his mother said such a thing I know he would just ignore it, and not because he doesn't want children (he does), just because he doesn't give a sh*t what she says. It the likes of me and you that feel the urge to say: "well, didn't your kids scream?" "would you have liked someone to say that before you had your children?" etc As women we are, and itching mothers to be in the future, we are complex creatures, and few understand us, not even MIL's, that one day felt just as we did but they obviously can't even remember.

 

[aimee-lou]

I hate to say it but get used to that kind of comment.

People don't say it to be mean or nasty - they actaully think they're being helpful (Which I can't quite fathom!).

I get people (even now when it's quite clearly too late!!) saying oh my god, don't have kids, they're horrible! They're expensive! There go your lie ins for 18 years!

So what.....we've made that decision, not them, and if they regret having children that's not to say we will......Ignore them hun and just sit smug in teh knowledge that you're not going to let them get to you!