Don't know what other choices are available - unhappy with midwife :( Please help!

[MoonLove]

Hello ladies

If anyone would be able to give any advice, it would be much appreciated. I feel like i'm at my wits end with this - and i just don't know where to turn!

Its about my midwife. I've had problems with the care i've recieved from her from day one, and now i'm really wanting a change. There are two midwives who work through my doctors surgery, and i see them both. I don't wish to see them anymore as they have let me down tremendously - but i've no idea where to turn to get another

I phoned around several places looking for help, but everyone said 'you need to phone your doctors surgery and get them to sort something'. I did this on Friday and the lady seemed unsure what to do because they only employ the two working there.

I'm waiting on a phonecall back from the doctor's practise manager, but i expect she'll just file a complaint against the midwives in question & expect me to carry on seeing them. I don't feel this is an option for me.


I don't know where else to turn. I've wondered if the local hospitals run midwives like my doctors do - but i don't know how to go about seeing one of those instead.


I'm so upset about this - i worry about when baby is born and i have to see health visitors at my doctors surgery, i worry about bumping into the midwives there

I've been so let down by them, and i've been left feeling frustrated and upset by the whole 'midwife' experience. Surely it shouldn't be this tricky to change?

Thank you for any help or advice, it really is appreciated

 

[MoonLove]

Its really not an option to 'grin and bear it' - i expected so much more from my midwife. I was in extreme pain the other night and i was extremely reluctant to phone her - in the end, my mom convinced me that i needed to call somebody. I called her, and once again, she fobbed me off and left me feeling stupid. She told me to go into the surgery and see the second midwife - so i did. I was greeted so rudely by her when i got there 'Oh i only saw you last week!?'

She made me feel absoutly stupid for bringing up my concern - and told me it was a waste of time seeing her, that i needed to see the doctor instead.


I feel at my most vulnerable, and once again, they left me wishing i'd not bothered with them.


I've since deleted my midwife's number from my phone.

 

[BabyDeacon]

You have a choice to choose out of the cloests hospitals to you... so perhaps changing hositals would mean changing midwifes

 

[Kimboowee]

I had a similar experience in my last pregnancy - I never saw the same mw twice despite one supposed to be based at the doctors permenantly.

I was having hospital apps aswell so could just about bare my actual MW apps and saved all my concerns and questions for the consultant.
As soon as I found out I was pregnant this time I changed docs - it took 4 days to do and the MW is alot better - not the friendliest but she does her job!

If your not due to have an app until 28 weeks I would defo see about swapping docs, you just need your NHS number and a form for the new practice.

Good luck!

 

[littleblonde]

you may need to change doctors hun. Midwifes are normally with the dr's. so its unliley they would be able to get a midwife to come into a surgery they dont work in. Least then you could file a complint agaginst then and not worry that you may bump into them. you could also try ringing hospital, you maybe able to see a midwife there

 

[new bride]

Hi Hun

I used to work on my local community midwifery team as a support worker and as you're in the UK your team should work the same. All community midwives come from the same team of midwives that are based up at your local hospital, they have just applied for the community posts as oppose to the hospital posts. This means that you can see other midwives because you belong to that 'team'. You may have to work with them though, and have your appointments in clinic at hospital. You need to call your hospital and ask to speak to head of midwifery. Tell her how you are feeling. You do not NEED to make a complaint if you do not want to, you are within your rights to change midwifes on the basis that we can't all get along all of the time. Your head of midwifery will know what to do - this is more common than you'd like to think.

Hope this has helped - and good luck x x x

 

[MrsPOP]

^^^ WSS. The head of midwives will very likely help you and be quick about it. Ive had to contact mine and they acted very quickly on my complaint. Good luck x

 

[MoonLove]

Hi Hun

I used to work on my local community midwifery team as a support worker and as you're in the UK your team should work the same. All community midwives come from the same team of midwives that are based up at your local hospital, they have just applied for the community posts as oppose to the hospital posts. This means that you can see other midwives because you belong to that 'team'. You may have to work with them though, and have your appointments in clinic at hospital. You need to call your hospital and ask to speak to head of midwifery. Tell her how you are feeling. You do not NEED to make a complaint if you do not want to, you are within your rights to change midwifes on the basis that we can't all get along all of the time. Your head of midwifery will know what to do - this is more common than you'd like to think.

Hope this has helped - and good luck x x x

Thank you, thats really helpful. I will get on to my local hospital and ask them about this. The practice manager at my doctor never got back to me, so i'm not expecting much back from them now.

Thank you new bride x

 

[new bride]

[QUOTEThank you new bride x[/QUOTE]

You're welcome x

 

[NewMummyx]

IM in a similar position but Im going to grin and bear it coz Im a wuss

The MW wanted to get Social Services involved to "Help" me because I live in Airdrie with my partner but he works (I know, the shame! ) an she thinks I dont have enough support - my family are 15minutes away in Glasgow!

She is also majorly concerned about the fact I have a dog, I dont know what to do, Im a bit scared

 

[Kimboowee]

IM in a similar position but Im going to grin and bear it coz Im a wuss

The MW wanted to get Social Services involved to "Help" me because I live in Airdrie with my partner but he works (I know, the shame! ) an she thinks I dont have enough support - my family are 15minutes away in Glasgow!

She is also majorly concerned about the fact I have a dog, I dont know what to do, Im a bit scared

Thats shocking! SS will see that she's been timewasting!

 

[MoonLove]

IM in a similar position but Im going to grin and bear it coz Im a wuss

The MW wanted to get Social Services involved to "Help" me because I live in Airdrie with my partner but he works (I know, the shame! ) an she thinks I dont have enough support - my family are 15minutes away in Glasgow!

She is also majorly concerned about the fact I have a dog, I dont know what to do, Im a bit scared

You don't need to put up with such BS in your pregnancy! Midwives are supposed to be there to support you and reassure you when you need them - not patronise you and start fussing over nothing!

If you want to change, get in contact with your local hospital like new bride said, and see what they are able to arrange for you. Don't just put up with it

 

[Pretty Please]

hey,

There are so many prego woman that I doubt she would remember you if you bumped into the MW again.

For me I never have seen the same MW - just got a general switch board telephone number at the hospital to book an appointment and its just luck on the day who I get !

One thing to note is from the NCT class was if there was a clash with your MW at your birth you can request to change MW.

 

[xolily]

like someone else has said, phone up and speak the head of midwifery - they'll be able to sort something out for you xx