Dont know what to do (if anything)

[sabby52]

This may get a little long but I will try to keep it as short as possible

My youngest has a male teacher this year, first male teacher ever, he seems to really like him but sometimes he tells me things that make me think that maybe the teacher doesnt quite like him (I may very well be wrong on this), I will write some of the things here and you can let me know if you think that is the case or not and if you would pull him on it. First I should tell you my youngest is no shrinking violet, he is very active and goes to drama so he can be very dramatic and I guess spending all day with him can be very tiring

Over the weeks he has told me :

Mr ***** was talking to the class and someone cracked a joke about the time, Mr **** laughed and carried on, then another child cracked a joke about the time and again Mr**** laughed (they were doing time questions), he carried on with the questions and my youngest cracked a joke to which Mr **** stopped the whole class and said " Declan ****** I do not take anything you say as a joke, stay in at break time" My son told me the joke he told was, question: what time is it when the big hand is at 12 and the little at 3? Declan said "Hometime" I dont think this merits him missing break

Another time he was looking for someone to run an errand to another class, my son put his hand up and Mr **** pointed at him and said "Declan **** you must be joking"

Then when my son asked if he could read in the same group as his friend he was told "When you can read properly you will be moved" My son is in the highest reading group and reads 3-4 years above his age so of course he can read properly.

Then when my youngest asked if he could sit with another friend to work on the ipad together he was told " I dont think so, I need to see you at all times"


Now I could understand all this if my son was a wee devil but when we had his parent/teacher meeting we were told he was a complete gentleman who is a joy to work with, he is very trustworthy and works very hard

like I said my son can be hard work (not in a bad way) but its no reason to dislike him.

Do you think I am reading into this the wrong way?? how would you feel?? My son is never upset and just says things in a matter-of-fact way but he did make a comment the other day that made me both angry and sad, he was talking about getting picked to do a thing in school and he said "sure I wouldnt get picked, Mr **** never picks me for anything" That was heartbreaking and he was so matter-of-fact about it

What do you all think?

 

[Quartz]

If the teacher is saying that to him that is highly inappropriate - even if he were a difficult child to handle singling out like that in front of the class is unfair and inappropriate.

Have the incidents been mentioned to you at all by the teacher particularly the missing break?

The reading one is particularly odd as if he is in the highest reading group then surely he cant be moved up - maybe in this case he misunderstood what the teacher was saying? If they are placed in reading levels and he is the highest then perhaps his friend is not so the teacher was trying to say that (and I dont think he should spell out the different levels so it may be confused). Children can also be very literal, said a different way and with a certain manner what the teacher said could be taken a different way (that he is in the top reading group and therefore he cant move down to join his friend) but the opposite is said - a bad choice of words though I admit. The same is true for the errand how it is said could change it from a nasty thing to a more affectionate. My daughters old teacher often teased her with like this

It could be with the picking for example that he feels that as Declan is doing very well at school and is confident he does not need the boost of being picked (I know this can sometimes happen to my daughter when it is not merit based).

I would speak to the teacher, what Declan is interpreting as happening and what you were told at the parents evening seem to be at odds with each other and I would try and get clarification. Either he is the type who tries to put down intelligent children (I had one it was awful) or he is joking and its not coming across to DEclan in the way it was intended and he will be mortified!

 

[shanny]

Talk the teacher

Better to nip any misunderstandings or not in the bud

 

[Natasha2605]

I'd make an appointment to talk to the teacher and go through all your points - maybe write them down before hand.

I definitely think it needs addressed

 

[sabby52]

Thanks everyone, going to make an appointment to have a casual word with him, I know kids sometimes repeat things differently to what has really been said thats why I wasnt sure what to do and Dec does say them so matter-of-fact, it doesnt seem to bother him at all, its just that he is a very confident (maybe a little over confident lol) little boy and I wouldnt want anything knocking that.

Thanks for all the advice, will let you know what he says xx

 

[Logan's Mum]

I would actually speak to another teacher/head of year to get a better overall picture of what he is like at school. It would be a better case for you and him if you spoke to the offending teacher with evidence from other teachers that he behaves well in classes. Logan was marked when he was in reception as being "disruptive", I knew he was not that bad normally but she was his only teacher so her word against mine.
Hope its resolved. X

 

[sabby52]

I would actually speak to another teacher/head of year to get a better overall picture of what he is like at school. It would be a better case for you and him if you spoke to the offending teacher with evidence from other teachers that he behaves well in classes. Logan was marked when he was in reception as being "disruptive", I knew he was not that bad normally but she was his only teacher so her word against mine.
Hope its resolved. X

He is only primary 4 so he only has one teacher for everything and they dont have a head of year. My son is one of those kids that all the teachers know, he treats his teachers the same as his classmates, he is very confident There have been several times when other teachers have been picking kids to do stuff and Dec is always one picked he got choosen by the principle to present his homework in assembly and he was choosen by another primary 4 teacher to do a reading in Mass, so he really cant be that bad When I go to collect him when we are walking through the school any teachers we pass will say hi to him or give him a 5 five so it seems he is well liked by all the teachers, his teacher last year said "everyone needs a Declan in their class"

Going to have a word today, hopefully it is all just a big misunderstanding

 

[6lilpigs]

Good luck today, who are you going to have a chat with, his teacher? It might be an idea to write a quick letter to the headteacher/principle? (Im UK so its the Headteacher running things in our schools ) Just detailing what youve written above, then maybe a short meeting with the Head, the teacher and yourself, I hope it esolves quickly your son sounds like a lovely boy

 

[Quartz]

Good luck today, who are you going to have a chat with, his teacher? It might be an idea to write a quick letter to the headteacher/principle? (Im UK so its the Headteacher running things in our schools ) Just detailing what youve written above, then maybe a short meeting with the Head, the teacher and yourself, I hope it esolves quickly your son sounds like a lovely boy

Why escalate so quickly though? At the moment all of the things the teacher has said could be interpreted differently or reasons behind it - its not bothering him and he is happy at school so as a first port of call speaking to the teacher makes sense. Why jump too many stages ahead, its best to see if it can be dealt with by the teacher before taking it to the next level.

I would be mortified at work if someone went straight to my boss about something rather than tackling it with me first.

Sabby good luck I hope the conversation goes well

 

[sabby52]

Thanks ladies, I think I will have a quick casual word with his teacher to start and see whats whats. Dec does like Mr **** so I dont want to go in all guns blazing just yet.

will update this afternoon x

 

[Kmx]

Hope you feel better after your appointment.

I wouldn't be happy if my son was telling me those things either.

 

[sabby52]

I spoke to his teacher and he seemed quite shocked at what I was saying, he said that he thinks Dec has been taking things the wrong way, I asked about the reading and he said on that particular day Dec was messing and he told him to read properly, he also said that Dec knows why he said "are you joking" when Dec asked to do a message, apparently my son goes walk-about when he sends him on a errand, he pays a visit to the teachers he likes he encouraged another little boy to go with him one day and the other boy got upset about it he said it wasnt a bad reason he just cant have him wandering around the school.

I got an uneasy feeling while talking to him (dont know why) he just seemed to mention decs confidence to much I will just keep an eye on the situation and if Dec says anything else then I will speak to the teacher as and when.

Thanks for the replies ladies

 

[Rags]

I'm glad to hear that things seemed ok when you spoke to the teacher today, I hope everything will be fine for your son now. I do think you are very right to keep an eye on things though, and a close ear to what your son says (or doesn't say) for the next while. It's a long time ago now but my mum was very reasured by my teacher when I was having trouble with her in primary school, unfortunately when my mum left the same teacher slapped my bottom and warned me never to say anything about her to my mum again - had my mum known this she would have dealt with it all but I was frighted to say anything after that. I'm very sure things will be fine now but good for you for remaining slightly suspicious mean time.

 

[New Mrs W]

Truthfully speaking, as an experienced primary school teacher, sometimes very confident children can take a while to come round to. I'm not saying that his teacher dislikes Declan, but he probably needs a bit longer to really get to know him and for Declan to learn the new boundaries set by this teacher as opposed to his other teachers. I've had a few children in my class who have come up to me with lots of confidence and full of praise from their previous teachers and sometimes it can be hard because you have different ideas about what is acceptable in class to your colleagues and it often takes a good term at least for the children to get their heads around that. I can almost promise you though that before too long his teacher will have him just where he wants him and Declan will have a better understanding of his new teacher and things will be much better and easier. Reading your post made me feel a little uneasy because as a less experienced teacher I may have made comments like that and not been as sensitive as I am now. Is Declan's teacher quite young? Xx

 

[sabby52]

Truthfully speaking, as an experienced primary school teacher, sometimes very confident children can take a while to come round to. I'm not saying that his teacher dislikes Declan, but he probably needs a bit longer to really get to know him and for Declan to learn the new boundaries set by this teacher as opposed to his other teachers. I've had a few children in my class who have come up to me with lots of confidence and full of praise from their previous teachers and sometimes it can be hard because you have different ideas about what is acceptable in class to your colleagues and it often takes a good term at least for the children to get their heads around that. I can almost promise you though that before too long his teacher will have him just where he wants him and Declan will have a better understanding of his new teacher and things will be much better and easier. Reading your post made me feel a little uneasy because as a less experienced teacher I may have made comments like that and not been as sensitive as I am now. Is Declan's teacher quite young? Xx

I did actually say to his teacher, I have lived with Dec for 8 years so I know how 'annoying' he can be I wouldnt lie about it, he is overly confident, overly dramatic and he can be annoying, I will be the first to admit that

His Teacher has been at that school for a good few years, he isnt young but he isnt old, he is one of those good looking teachers that you find very hard to age I would say late 30's early 40's but does look younger.

Thank you for replying, its good to hear a teachers take on it