"doula" offer

[bubbles]

I started asking around for doula recommendations in my surrounding area a few days ago, yesterday I got a pm from a lovely mama on another forum I use, explaining that she was hoping to do her doula training soon. I'm happy to have someone there who isn't 100% qualified, they need to learn right?
I was going to have my sister act as a doula type birth partner but she's not a homebirth fan for herself and I worry she would let her own feelings get in the way of what I want. Anyway, I'm not sure what I would offer this mama if I was happy for her to attend (after meeting properly) or what would be reasonable for her to ask for as she hasn't qualified and is unlikely to be fully fledged before baby is born

 

[Mervs Mum]

Part of the preparation of becoming a doula is not only understanding the role but much more important debriefing your own experiences, good and bad. Just as you would be unsure that your sister wouldn't bring her own anxieties to the birth space, neither should anyone else there. That includes mums, partners and doulas...even midwives. Some we can't do an awful lot about ie our mws if we chose to go with the NHS, or mums and partners not prepared to go through proper debriefing to be able to leave their 'birth baggage' at the door. But we should be able to trust that anyone acting as a doula in the truest and traditional sense of the word IS able to leave their own stuff when entering the space. Understanding that you're not there to stop someone 'making the same mistakes I did' or 'save' them by influencing their path, is cruical. It's the birthing familiy's journey. So while I wouldn't say no don't have wannabe doula as your doula, because she will certainly be much more effective as research has shown , than a sister or mum. But DO explore things more. You need to see where she is at in her journey to becoming a doula. Talk lots. Get to know her and ans where shes at before deciding if this is a good idea. It wasn't until quite some time, preparation, much debriefing and several births had passed, before I truly understood how I could be a good doula. HTH.