Doulas?

[Mrs Dragonfly]

Anyone planning or want to have a doula? My first birth with DD was traumatic and if I think about labor and delivery too long I get very anxious knowing the difficulties we ran into.

My husband is a fantastic birth partner, he gives me such strength. But I am interested in if a doula is beneficial. One issue is we definitely cannot afford their rates so I wonder if it's worth continuing to search and maybe find one that will offer a lower rate/sliding scale or one in training or is it all just silly?

 

[blessedmomma]

I think it's a fabulous idea if you feel it will help your anxiety before and during labor. I haven't ever had one in the past, but I have a friend who offered to for free for me this time. I think it will be great to have someone there that's specifically there to support me in what I want. Of course cost would be a major factor for me and had she not offered I would likely not have one.

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

That's awesome that you have a friend who offered! I would definitely take her up on it.

 

[Mum2BKW]

I don't have personal experience but a friend of mine used a Doula and had a wonderful experience. She felt really supported and calm. On her experience I'd definitely recommend it if you can afford it, they might be able to offer a payment schedule if that helps?

 

[TTCfirstovr30]

I am researching this too, Due July 23rd. So far what I have found (I live on the west coast) is that there are different "rates" for your Doula. She can be very involved and meet with you numerous times before birth, during labor and after birth or as little as only during birth and with this the pricing changes. What I found was that it ranges from $700 - $3000.

I would mainly want one to just be with me throughout the birth and coach me as this is my first and I have no idea what I am doing. Also am going to try and home birth in a bath with TEMS for as long as I can before going to hospital. Also, DH does is a little on the hyper side so I will need someone to calm him down! lol

Hope this helps and look forward to other ladies responses!

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

I don't have personal experience but a friend of mine used a Doula and had a wonderful experience. She felt really supported and calm. On her experience I'd definitely recommend it if you can afford it, they might be able to offer a payment schedule if that helps?

That's excellent, my husband was great at keeping things calm but it became so stressful when the nurses switched shifts and the new one I got was so cold. She would look at DD's heart rate, shake her head and walk away and not say anything when we asked questions. I feel like having a doula in that situation would be able to advocate harder than either of us could in those moments.

I am researching this too, Due July 23rd. So far what I have found (I live on the west coast) is that there are different "rates" for your Doula. She can be very involved and meet with you numerous times before birth, during labor and after birth or as little as only during birth and with this the pricing changes. What I found was that it ranges from $700 - $3000.

I would mainly want one to just be with me throughout the birth and coach me as this is my first and I have no idea what I am doing. Also am going to try and home birth in a bath with TEMS for as long as I can before going to hospital. Also, DH does is a little on the hyper side so I will need someone to calm him down! lol

Hope this helps and look forward to other ladies responses!

Oh goodness about your DH being on the hyper side One of my friends had her DH faint during delivery so I'm grateful mine was pretty strong the whole time. I'm on the west coast too and still looking. I plan to ask my midwife when I see her next.

I think it would be great to meet with a doula at least once before the birth to get to know them a bit and be comfortable with them.

 

[blessedmomma]

Dragonfly- do you have any close friends or family members that could act as a doula for you? Someone who you could tell what you want from the labor and birth that would stand up for you and support you? I believe a friend/family member could be just as helpful honestly and would likely do it for free. Maybe someone who has had children or feels the same about childbirth as you do? I love that the friend who offered for me has the same beliefs about it all, and we are in agreement with many life things so I know she will be amazing.

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

Not really anyone I would feel comfortable being with me during labor, which is maybe silly to say since I'd let a total stranger in that I pay money lol.

Not many of my friends have children yet, and most that do are of the belief of "bring the drugs as soon as labor starts!" I'm all for the epidural, but I'd like to make it as long as possible before getting it.

 

[greeneyes27]

I had a doula when I had my 6 year old son. I can't speak highly enough of the support that a doula can give you, during your pregnancy, at the birth and while you're getting yourself together afterwards.

My doula gave me the confidence to have the birth that I wanted, at home without any pain relief. She was a comforting, reassuring presence through it all and always believed in me. After Finley was born she was so kind, she bathed me, dressed me and put me to bed, I had the worst shakes ever once he was born, they were uncontrollable (not sure what that was!!). Then in the days following she visited me most days and helped me with breastfeeding which really helped me to make a success of it.

She was like a friend, mum and caregiver all rolled into one and I still have a special relationship with her. She came to my wedding and is going to be at the birth of our next child, due in July.

Definitely worth it! x

 

[CanadianLady]

I hope you are able to find a doula. I am looking into getting one this time as I am in Canada now and cannot have a midwife because I had GD and on insulin. I suffered with a lot of anxiety when I had my son. The best thing I did was Hypnobirthing. We did classes but you can also get books and cd online. We used the Mongan Method. It helped me so much with my anxiety if during a difficult labour. Good luck.

 

[Berri]

I didn't use a doula but the place where I did prenatal yoga run a birth session run by a doula for mama's and their support people. My husband and I both got a lot out of it, knowing what to expect and what to ask for and the best way for hubby to advocate for me. Maybe have a look in your area and see if there's anything like that?

 

[vaniilla]

I think they can be very good from what I've heard but at the same time if your OH is a very good birth partner then I personally don't think it's necessary to have a doula too unless you're wanting a homebirth/don't have access to midwives.

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

I had a doula when I had my 6 year old son. I can't speak highly enough of the support that a doula can give you, during your pregnancy, at the birth and while you're getting yourself together afterwards.

My doula gave me the confidence to have the birth that I wanted, at home without any pain relief. She was a comforting, reassuring presence through it all and always believed in me. After Finley was born she was so kind, she bathed me, dressed me and put me to bed, I had the worst shakes ever once he was born, they were uncontrollable (not sure what that was!!). Then in the days following she visited me most days and helped me with breastfeeding which really helped me to make a success of it.

She was like a friend, mum and caregiver all rolled into one and I still have a special relationship with her. She came to my wedding and is going to be at the birth of our next child, due in July.

Definitely worth it! x

That sounds so wonderful! I've heard such amazing stories of how supportive doula's have been at births and postpartum. Awesome that she's going to be a part of your birth in July too

I hope you are able to find a doula. I am looking into getting one this time as I am in Canada now and cannot have a midwife because I had GD and on insulin. I suffered with a lot of anxiety when I had my son. The best thing I did was Hypnobirthing. We did classes but you can also get books and cd online. We used the Mongan Method. It helped me so much with my anxiety if during a difficult labour. Good luck.

Thank you! I'm sorry you're unable to go with a midwife but I hope you're able to find a doula that will help you have the birth you want. I loved Hynobirthing with DD, I found it helped a lot with the anxiety

I didn't use a doula but the place where I did prenatal yoga run a birth session run by a doula for mama's and their support people. My husband and I both got a lot out of it, knowing what to expect and what to ask for and the best way for hubby to advocate for me. Maybe have a look in your area and see if there's anything like that?

Thank you for the suggestion Berri, I will definitely look into that route too.

I think they can be very good from what I've heard but at the same time if your OH is a very good birth partner then I personally don't think it's necessary to have a doula too unless you're wanting a homebirth/don't have access to midwives.

I'm going through a midwife at the hospital, I don't feel comfortable doing a homebirth. But you are right, it's not a total necessity because DH is a great support and he and I both feel the same about birth.