Down about appearance....anybody feel the same?

[Spudtastic]

I've had two children, now aged 3.5 and 7 months. I comfort eat and have put on a lot of weight which I've struggled to lose. It's like I have no control over what goes into my mouth. I need to try harder.

I'm pretty down about my appearance so you'd think it would be easy to stop putting that chocolate into my mouth.

I'm trying to walk for when I can and cook healthy meals.

I guess just a post about how I feel.

How are you getting on with your post pregnancy body?

 

[jessmke]

Yup, I'm not feeling so hot about myself either.

I got married on Saturday and just last night watched the wedding video and was a bit shocked by my appearance. I am not technically overweight, but I am bigger than I am comfortable being and none of my pre-pregnancy pants/skirts fit, and I can only get away with wearing my flowy dresses and tops. Even though I am exclusively breastfeeding and spent 6 months training for a half ironman which I competed in when my LO was 7 months old, I have still struggled to lose any of the baby weight. It appears I am one of those women who's body holds onto weight while breastfeeding, even though everyone assured me when I was pregnant that the weight would just "fall off me" once I started breastfeeding.

I have always liked chocolate as much as the next woman, but since giving birth I can. not. get. enough. chocolate. Pre-baby I've never really had to watch what I ate, I like healthy food so always ate quite well, and I enjoy physical activity, so whenever I felt like having a treat I would have one and it never affected me at all because it wasn't every day and I made healthy choices all other times. Not so much the case anymore! I could eat nothing but chocolate bars all day, and it doesn't help that my OH's cousin works for a chocolate bar company is always dropping CASES of chocolate bars off at our house even though I have told my OH to ask her to stop doing this. We never used to keep junk food in the house, but now that this chocolate is always available I have gone to a dark place, lol. Not gonna lie, I had two Mars bars for supper tonight while my OH is gone to play hockey. I've asked him to hide the chocolate bars, but then I spend two days searching for them and binge out when I find them. He has finally asked his cousin not to drop any more off, so hopefully I can nip this addiction in the bud soon. Luckily I still exercise regularly, but my level of chocolate consumption is not healthy.

We are trying for baby #2 right now and I am a bit stressed about it because I really thought I would have lost the baby weight from our DD by now. I gained 37 lbs with DD so I am hoping that when I get preggers with #2 I can stick closer to the 25 lb mark.

There are two things I am trying to do mentally to be ok with my body:

1. I remind myself that I have a daughter and I don't want her to grow up with body image or self esteem issues. So even though I look at the photos and I think to myself that my arms look fat or you can see a back roll, I don't ever voice my concerns out loud because I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking she has to be embarrassed of her appearance if she is less than what society deems as being "perfect". She is far too young to really understand my judgement of myself, but I am trying to get into the habit of not being self-deprecating before she is old enough to understand. I also decided to start wearing my bikini again for the same reason, I am not going to hide my body just because I don't feel perfect. I want my daughter to grow up with a confident mother who teaches her that being comfortable and proud of your body is preferable to striving to having a bikini perfect body.

2. I try to remind myself that what my body can do is much more important than how my body looks. I did a half ironman at 7 months postpartum. Even though it was the slowest half ironman I have ever done, I still crossed the finish line which is more than the majority of the population can do. I also regularly run 15km+ trail runs. My body is performing the way a healthy, fit body should perform, even if it doesn't look like it on the outside.

I would suggest you find some sort of physical activity that you like to do. Forcing yourself to go to the gym is fine and dandy, but you aren't going to keep going if it isn't something you enjoy doing. Maybe the activity that you like isn't the one that is going to burn the most calories, but so long as you enjoy doing it you are going to stick with it in the long run and that is what matters and is going to allow you to see results. Then monitor your success based on your achievements rather than how much weight you lose. Maybe you become faster, or you can lift a heavier amount of weight, or you don't feel as out of breath, etc. Define your success by what your body can do, not by what you look like.

Try not to hide your body, and find some sort of motivation to stop the negative thoughts about yourself. For me it is being a role model for my daughter, you might have to find something that really speaks to you. It is really normal to make bad choices when you feel down about yourself. It seems counter-intuitive, you would think that if you are upset about your appearance you would be motivated to make changes but that isn't often the case. I know that when I am active on a regular basis I am more motivated to make healthy food choices, but when I am sedentary it is so much easier to convince myself to have some junk! Just start small and you will find that as you start making healthy choices you will be motivated to continue to make even healthier choices.

Yikes, sorry for the essay!

 

[Diannam]

I'm in the same boat comfort eating with very little control. Each day I start off telling my self I will at least be reasonable but I alwayshave tthose moments where I pretty much binge. I try to keep bad food out of my house by not buying it, but there's always something. I feel gross. My clothes are all getting tighter and I know I have to stop gaining.

I have successfully lost weight once before but I had lots of free time and I exercised hard three times a week. Now what time I do have to myself I spend relaxing. I do go for walks with my baby 3-5 times a week for 20 minutes each.

I agree with jess about the exercise leading to healthier eating. When I was doing more of it I didn't want to negate it by eating a lot.

I don't like where I am headed postbbaby I lost 20 pounds and have gained 13 of it back. I am 17 pounds away from my highest weight. I just really struggle controlling myself and my husband is no help either. I wish he would remind me I'm eating too much. I sure know I tell him.

 

[lau86]

This is me! I don't know what's wrong with me, normally I make an effort to think about food and if I have a treat I know it's a treat. Lately If I want it I just eat it! I'm so busy I just feel like there are more important things than my weight, which is true but also I do need to lose it! I have big bingo wings etc, my clothes don't fit, it just doesn't suit me! Also I have to go back to work soon and at the moment I haven't got anything to wear..., oh dear.

 

[Crosby]

Same here. I am a whopping 9kg over my prepregnancy and pre IVF weight. And i also eat rubbish and lots. I need the energy dont i?)))

I hope that once i go to work and my baby turns into a toddler i will lose some by running around after her and juggling more things than i do now.

Plus i think our bodies are still struggling hormone wise.

And if you are older its harder to lose pregnancy weight

 

[6lilpigs]

Count me in, clothes getting tighter, heavier now than what I delivered last baby at, its almost a compulsion to eat something everytime I walk through the kitchen and its almost always something bread based which bloats me anyway grr. I have started doing smaller home delivery shops with a monthly delivery payment plan to keep myself out of the local shop every day, me and the kids have this thing that whoever comes with me knows that they get to eat something sneakily before we get home whether its a pie or family size bag of sweets or cheescake slices etc, stopping this has gotta help hasnt it

 

[Mrsmac02]

I feel exactly the same, yet I continue to eat full packets of chocolate biscuits for breakfast. The lower I feel, the worse my eating habits become.

Ds2 is 6 weeks now and as you would imagine, sleeps dreadfully! We're also in the process of having a new kitchen fitted so I'm blaming the sleep deprivation and lack of proper kitchen facilities for it even though I did this with DS1.

I am already overweight so I truly need to get my finger out or I'll be dead by the age of 40

 

[Left wonderin]

Me me me , I could have written your post ! I feel like a big blob ! 6months post preg with no 2 . I CANNOT stop eating ! I have tried joining a sliming club , went for 2 weeks and both weeks put up a lb !! Then gave up I KNOW I need to do something but have zero motivation ! I know if I can just get going ill be grand but its starting I find the hardest .

I think about it every day , it bothers me every day but still I do nothing about it .I comfort eat that's for sure ! A 2.5 year old and 6 month old is exhausting so I reward myself with " nice " things which while nice while eating them the make me feel awful .

I'm going to end up as big as a house if something doesn't change soon .... I was never very slim but I was comfortable . Now I feel dreadful about myself .

 

[_Meep_]

Hate mine! Enough said.

 

[Left wonderin]

Maybe we should start a thread to support and motivate each other ? Couldn't hurt ? I'd love the company lol and at the end of 9 months instead of having new babies to coo over we will have new bods to wow over lol.....

 

[lau86]

I need something! I'm so flabby. I'm not huge in size but there are much bigger women that look a lot better than me.i also tried a diet and did well for a few weeks then it got hard. This time I'm going to try and just slowly make more sensible choices and sometimes if I want something I wait ten minutes and see if I still want it.

 

[laila 44]

I hear you! I feel the same way. Normally a thin fit girl I just became gross after my third pregnancy. Baby is 4 months old and I feel soooo out of shape and just fat. I decided to cut al carbs and refined sugars this week and man, what a difference! It sucks and it's hard but I lost 5 pounds this week already and am feeling much better. For me, although I'm a mom and my kids come first etc I still want to look good! Hell I have friends with 4 kids that are complete knockouts so for me there's no excuse. I have only me to blame for binge eating etc. It's simply not enough for me to let go just because I'm a mom.... It's so frustrating. Dieting is hard and so is working out but for me I have no choice the weight won't come off any other way u can do it girl! Just keep your eye on the prize and you'll get there. Small dietary changes can make a huge difference xo

 

[Witchrose]

2. I try to remind myself that what my body can do is much more important than how my body looks. I did a half ironman at 7 months postpartum. Even though it was the slowest half ironman I have ever done, I still crossed the finish line which is more than the majority of the population can do. I also regularly run 15km+ trail runs. My body is performing the way a healthy, fit body should perform, even if it doesn't look like it on the outside.

I would suggest you find some sort of physical activity that you like to do. Forcing yourself to go to the gym is fine and dandy, but you aren't going to keep going if it isn't something you enjoy doing. Maybe the activity that you like isn't the one that is going to burn the most calories, but so long as you enjoy doing it you are going to stick with it in the long run and that is what matters and is going to allow you to see results. Then monitor your success based on your achievements rather than how much weight you lose. "

Love your whole post, but wanted to highlight the above. First, congrats on completing the half ironman! That's fantastic.

Second, I want to nod in agreement on focusing on what one's body is able to do, and monitoring success based on achievement rather than weight loss. I'm a huge proponent of strength training, not only for its aesthetic benefits (burns more calories than cardio and tones you up), but one's mental attitude shifts from focusing on how much calories am I burning to wow! look how much stronger I am! Before, I could only lift X amount of weights. Now I can lift X. I never thought I could do "real" pushups! Now I can do them like nothing And the everyday benefits are fantastic. Being able to carry even older/larger children with ease. No needing help carrying heavy items like bags or boxes. One feels so capable. It's a fantastic confidence booster.

Thirdly, I'm also a huge proponent of home workouts. If one loves the gym, of course, go! But I know too many people who join, and then always have an excuse not to go. But if one has an exercise mat, dumbells, etc at home, they can't say: "well, it`s rather cold out today..."

Fourthly, eons ago, i read somewhere: "Make exercise part of your daily life like brushing your teeth. Make it become so natural that you can't imagine not doing it." One of the best pieces of advice I listened to.

 

[6lilpigs]

This could be our motivation thread coudnt it
I think for me the 1st steps are as pp said above, the carbs and sugar, they are definitely my problem, and the wait 10 minutes before eating it to see if I am just bingeing again. I dont own any weights or gym equipment and am unable to join a gym so I think starting out on the bingeing first is a good starting place, hopefully when LO is off the hip a bit more I can start squeezing in a few 10 minute youtube workouts maybe??

 

[oliv]

I felt like this!! I have two kids also 2.5 and 15 months. I had a wedding coming up and was struggling to lose weight, I was in the gym 3 times a week and nothing was happening so I bit the built and went to a one on one personal trainer for 6 weeks!!

He put me on a food place and did 3 sessions a week. it was hard work but I lost 8lb in the first weeks and 2 stone in total over the 6 weeks.

I felt amazing in my wedding dress and my bikini on honeymoon!! No I still have weight to lose but im feeling more confident and its making me dress nicer, do my hair and make up.

I feel a lot better about myself. my diet still isn't great and I have a sweet tooth but iv cut down a lot

 

[Spudtastic]

Thank you thank thank you thank you everyone for replying. I'm currently on my phone in bed at 3am so will get on the computer tomorrow to reply more in depth as I really appreciate the long replies and the time everyone has taken to post.

I used to be a gym bunny before kids doing crossfit and hill walking. After kids working out is difficult as my dh works 6.5 days per week from 6.30am to 6.30pm. So I do 99% of parenting. I've equated grabbing a piece of chocolate as me time and my nurture.

I have just started to make an effort to walk more. I put my 8 month old in the front pack and my eldest daughter in the buggy (or she walks) and off we go. I've got a fit bit and am walking more. I also do kangatraining once a week.

So it's just the sugar. I am addicted to it and giving it up for me is all or nothing.
But I'm working on it. And of course I don't want to pass on bad habits to my girls so it's very important.

Maybe we should all try a week. I know there are motivational threads in the health and dieting section. Perhaps we should start one for us mums who struggle with it.

 

[Left wonderin]

Brilliant idea spud , ill be there and am willing to give it a real go !!!

 

[jessmke]

YouTube is great for working out at home! We are on day 40 of a 90 day yoga challenge on youtube with Fightmaster Yoga. It a nice healthy thing for me and my OH to do together, and most of the classes are only 30 min long so it is easy to fit in even on days when OH works. He doesn't get home from work until 8pm but I have our mats and the video all ready to go so when he walks in the door he just has to change and we are ready to start. On his days off we do it either while Isla is napping or sometimes while she is awake because he thinks it is super fun to crawl and climb on us while we roll around on the floor. Fightmaster Yoga also has a 30 day challenge for beginners and tons of other classes. We are really enjoying it even though my OH isn't really into yoga and we have both noticed our strength improving, especially upper body.

 

[Spudtastic]

OK ladies ..who's up for a two week challenge. I've started a thread in the dieting section

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/d...allenge-sept-16th-sept-30th.html#post37741309

If you're keen for a short challenge please join me.

 

[Witchrose]

Along with what has already been mentioned, I`ll give a shout out to Jessica Smith and Melissa Bender for great YouTube video workouts. Jessica's range from beginner to advanced and she shows modifications in all. She's really good at giving clear instruction, too. Melissa's are lots of fun with some unique moves, but probably not for newbies as hers tend to be more fast paced and without much instruction.