Due date today, no sign of baby. Need some support, hubby just doesn't get it.

[Jezzielin]

Well here I am on my due date again. No baby again. There is nothing I want more at this moment than to start labor. I am 4-5cm (for nearly a week now) 50-60%, -1 with bulging waters. Nothing. I've been sweeped twice, nothing. There was one day Sunday when I contracted for every 5 minutes for 4 hours and I swore that was it. Died off.

I am just getting so frustrated because I just want my body to do it on it's own, it just like last time it doesn't seem like going to. And even more frustrated because I wanted to DTD but my husband was too tired last night and wasn't interested this morning, and I bet that would have helped. Now I'm just sitting around the house all day waiting when nothing is going to happen and it would've been nice to maybe get something going this morning.

My husband is getting frustrated with me because i seem I'm not happy and been just been moping around the house because he knows how badly I want this to start on its own. He just doesn't understand that, he just tells me if I'm tired of being pregnant, just to get induced as my doctor is going to offer that today most likely. I want to be able to do it on my own he just doesn't get it he doesn't understand why that's so important!!! And it is so hard to explain it to him.

As supportive of a man as he is, I just feel so unsupported right now and so alone. He keeps referring to the last week of pregnancy is hell, because of just not happy which makes me feel so much worse. I don't turn into a jerk or anything but I just get so emotional because I'm exhausted, tired and just so anxious to meet our new little one - so I come across as quiet and teary. I don't even want to talk to anyone right now because if I hear "where's the baby" or "how you feeling" one more time feel like I'm going to snap.

Anyway sorry for the rant, I just feel like I know what else to talk to. I don't know if I'm just so disappointed that I'm wasting my maternity leave with no baby or if I'm just upset that I feel like my body cannot do this on its own.

 

[mrspeanut]

Aww I know exactly how you feel - my boys were both 10 days overdue. Being overdue is so rubbish, it's uncomfortable, boring and like you said, disappointing. Hope your baby decides that he/she wants to put in an appearance very soon! Come on baby!

 

[pLadyBug]

Aww the fact is your body IS doing it on its own. There is no set timeframe and that's the misconception most people tend to have. My last was late despite everything I tried naturally. In fact I stayed 7cm for hours (about 8). She came when she was ready. After being 7cm so long I sat up in the hospital for a few mins laid back down and no sooner was I told to push. Believe me I know how nerve wracking it is. Just hang in there.

 

[Jezzielin]

Thanks everyone!

I had my appointment today, he can stretch me to 5cm now but without steady contractions or really any for that matter.

To start, I do have to say my OB is wonderful. He is very democratic and not forceful in decisions but does make valid points and reasonable options. He provided such, what I call, a 'zen-like' experience with my first birth (let us be very involved, low lights, calming voice) and really makes it a point to making it as relaxing as possible.

Having said that, he did bring up the idea of induction. He prefers that I do not go over 41 weeks but does have women in his practice that have gone to 42 but brought up the morbidity/mortality curve changes after 41 weeks. I asked many questions, including what he would do.

With my first my look pressure was up between 160-180 so they had to keep me. After much pushback from myself, I agreed to a Cooks catheter to help mechanically, not chemically, dilate me. After a few hours I went from 2cm to 6cm but not steaduly contracting. My water did end up breaking on its own (which I was very happy about) but without any contractions, I got the pit at 6. Wow.... Wow. Needless to say an epidural was gotten at 10cm.

Going back to today's visit, I told asked if it would be the same plan if induced. He said I was too dilated for a catheter. Now being 5cm, anterior, he's saying -2 with bulging waters (which he said were SO bulging he wished he had a shaper nail to just pop it), he thinks breaking my water would suffice. BUT then I asked how long he would give me before starting pit to contract. He said probably only 2 hours. I was like - seems like not enough time!

He suggested an induction if nothing by 41 weeks, even said I could tomorrow if I was tired of pregnancy, but I said no. I am going in Monday for monitoring, at 40+4 and more discussion. If agreeable, he'd induce me Monday if I haven't gone by then.

To be honest, I am considering it. I know I don't want to go past 42 weeks, 40+4 doesn't seem to be terrible but I feel like I need the stipulation of longer wait time before pit. Mi just don't want it again. I made it to nearly pushing without an epidural and really feel like I could have done it without if it wasnt for the pit kicking it into high gear (I had a contraction that lasted 4 minutes and just back to back to back!).

Anyway, what do you ladies think? He is really a wonderful OB and I do trust him, and of course I want my body to go naturally but come Monday, I just don't know how I will feel. He feels like since this is not my first and having such a favorable cervix at this point - it will be more like a nudge than anything else with the waters. Then again, who knows.

As of today, I cleaned my house like crazy! Moved furniture to vaccum, scrubbed floors, got feeling so sore and low. I did stairs and even got my hubby to the bedroom before bed tonight! Some mild contractions, but nothing I am getting excited over.

Anyway, what do you think? :/

He really hit the nail on the head though. He was like, "Dear, you have such a 'do it on my own' ethic. In your personality, work, etc. I know you want to do it all on your own, it's part of who you are and anything less you think of as a personal disappointment and personal failure." LOL. It is so true. That's exactly how I see it.

 

[MindUtopia]

Oh gosh, hun, you're only at your due date. You have plenty of time. In France, women aren't even 'due' until 41 weeks, so you'd still be a week early right now. Just relax, enjoy your time off, go get a massage (helps the oxytocin system ramp up and it's oxytocin that starts labour), and trust your body. It will happen, but not if you don't give it time to (and actually feeling stressed can hold labour off until the stress diminishes, so you might actually be slowing things up by worrying about it). Plan something special with your LO that you won't have a chance to do for awhile once you have a new baby and just let it happen. It will. No one has ever been pregnant forever.

Also, that stuff about the risk to the baby rising after 41 weeks is rubbish. Actually, there is no added risk to baby until you are past 42 weeks (that's not right at the very start of 42 weeks, past 42 weeks) and even the American College of Ob/gyns states this in their position on women going over 42 weeks. And even then it's only very, very minimal. Actually, the risk to baby is greater at 37 weeks than at 42 weeks if you look at the data on infant mortality. So don't buy into that stuff. You aren't on a clock and you shouldn't be stressing about these things. It will happen. Just enjoy the time you have left. If you are already 5cm, I'm guessing it will all be really quick and easy once it happens.

 

[Jezzielin]

Oh gosh, hun, you're only at your due date. You have plenty of time. In France, women aren't even 'due' until 41 weeks, so you'd still be a week early right now. Just relax, enjoy your time off, go get a massage (helps the oxytocin system ramp up and it's oxytocin that starts labour), and trust your body. It will happen, but not if you don't give it time to (and actually feeling stressed can hold labour off until the stress diminishes, so you might actually be slowing things up by worrying about it). Plan something special with your LO that you won't have a chance to do for awhile once you have a new baby and just let it happen. It will. No one has ever been pregnant forever.

Also, that stuff about the risk to the baby rising after 41 weeks is rubbish. Actually, there is no added risk to baby until you are past 42 weeks (that's not right at the very start of 42 weeks, past 42 weeks) and even the American College of Ob/gyns states this in their position on women going over 42 weeks. And even then it's only very, very minimal. Actually, the risk to baby is greater at 37 weeks than at 42 weeks if you look at the data on infant mortality. So don't buy into that stuff. You aren't on a clock and you shouldn't be stressing about these things. It will happen. Just enjoy the time you have left. If you are already 5cm, I'm guessing it will all be really quick and easy once it happens.

I don't believe that he would steer me wrong and he is not an intimidator trying to get me to do unnecessary things. Researching, I came across an NIH article which I believe he is referring to possibly: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1941614/#!po=43.3333

I am still researching but I am just hoping if something happens on its own, I won't have to worry about it at all!

 

[pLadyBug]

Ok so I don't think the possible negative outcomes of going over 42 weeks is "rubbish." There are indeed things that can go wrong after that point and of course that varies from person to person because conception is not exact. With that I say I also strongly believe in letting your body do its own thing. From the details provided I don't think you have that long to go at all. You seem to want the natural route. I think if you settle for induction you will have that feeling of oh I could have just waited a little longer. You still have some time, so if you don't go into labor by Monday maybe wait a tad longer to Thursday?

Just a side note for if you do choose to get induced... 2 hours really isn't a lot of time to have, but you DO always have the option to start Pitocin and stop it. Maybe you should discuss that with your doctor. The point of Pitocin is to jumpstart your contractions so they will be more effective. The drip starts off very slow and increases to around 22 during a course of time. Maybe you can use the slower drips to get things moving and then try letting your body do the rest. (you will still be able to breathe in between contractions) That and having your water break speeds things up and being 5cm already I don't see you needing much help.

 

[Eline]

As I have a friend who is severely handicapped because her mom went too far overdue, I really don't like it when people take this to lightly and put too much importance on everything going natural. If everything went natural, by this time, I would have lost no less then three friends in labor.

I understand you want to give yourself some time to start everything naturally and you càn take your time. But make sure you are monitored closely by your doctor and take his advice if he thinks it's time for your baby to be born. As you are already 5 cm dilated, you have a good chance to get there on your own or with minimum intervention.

I hope you can enjoy your last days with your bump and don't worry too much about wanting to do everything yourself.

 

[noahjeff]

Hey don't worry, hope you have consulted with your doc already.. Congrats