dummy- feel like I've made a big mistake

[izzlesnizzle]

Ds has just turned one and it was always the plan to ditch the dummy at this time. So we did it at th weekend and had a couple of days of crying at nap times but he went off after about 20 mins the first time then gradually got less each nap. Bedtimes surprisingly he went down ok and we couldn't believe how easy it had been as we'd been dreading it. I chose the weekend to do it as dh was home and we could support each other through it, mainly he would be the one to help me not to cave. Ds went three days without the dummy without too much bother. Then wonder week 55 hit like a sledge hammer yesterday. Naps have gone to pot and when he starts screaming at 5 am we have nothing to give him to help settle him back to sleep so we're now starting the day at this time. Naps have been beyond awful the last two days. Taking 45 mins to go to sleep then only sleeping 30 mins and I'm back to pat shushing to re settle when he wakes up 30 mins into the nap and is still clearly tired and extremely grumpy. Shopping trips have been miserable with him whining away in the pushchair enough to send you over the edge into utter despair.

I'm regretting the decision to ditch it, I hadn't realised the stormy week was coming now and I don't know whether or not to undo the good work of the weekend and give it him back to get us through this rocky period or ride the storm and be strong. Help!

 

[lau86]

If you're regretting it could you give it back? This is the reason my son has it at past two. He only has is for bedtime and when he's poorly. It's a huge comfort for him.

 

[izzlesnizzle]

If you're regretting it could you give it back? This is the reason my son has it at past two. He only has is for bedtime and when he's poorly. It's a huge comfort for him.

Does he not pester you for it in the daytime? I have considered literally just keeping it for sleep times but the times I've tried not to give it in the daytime unless he's really upset he just whinges and whines until I give it to him. I don't know whether or not to persevere until he's completely forgotten about it and finds another way to settle himself.

I've had a really bad two days with him so I'm all confused and at sixes and sevens with myself over it

 

[LoraLoo]

We've just ditched Alices at 2 and it's been just as hard- very similar to what you're describing, but it got easier after a couple if weeks. My advice would be to ride it out- the first days are hardest and you've done that part.

 

[Willow01]

My son dropped using his dummy himself at 2, he knew he was only allowed it for nap times and bed. It was a source of comfort so decided not to take it away earlier. He decided when he saw his baby sister with one that he was a big boy and no longer needed it. I would reintroduce it for naps and bed only and reconsider removing it later when you think he is ready to give it up.

 

[lau86]

If you're regretting it could you give it back? This is the reason my son has it at past two. He only has is for bedtime and when he's poorly. It's a huge comfort for him.

Does he not pester you for it in the daytime? I have considered literally just keeping it for sleep times but the times I've tried not to give it in the daytime unless he's really upset he just whinges and whines until I give it to him. I don't know whether or not to persevere until he's completely forgotten about it and finds another way to settle himself.

I've had a really bad two days with him so I'm all confused and at sixes and sevens with myself over it

No funny enough given how much he loves it, he has never asked for it in the day. They soon learn though if you just say no don't they. I said I was going to get rid when he stopped napping during the day which has just happened,but we've had a new baby (who also has a dummy) and I want to potty train soon so I don't want too many changes at once.

 

[Teri7489]

Just wondered why you want to get rid of it? Personally I don't see what's wrong with a little one having them. Its a source of comfort just like a baby comfort sucking at the breast. My dd loves her dummy and I have no plans to take it away from her until she is a little older and able to understand me explaining to her that she doesn't need it any longer. Idont want to through a spanner in the works but why unsettle your LO and your precious sleep for a dummy. Sleep is way too important to miss! Lol

 

[jessmke]

You could give it back to him but poke a little hole in the tip of it. Each week make the hole slightly bigger. Eventually he will drop it on his own because it won't work properly with a hole in the tip of if.

 

[izzlesnizzle]

Just wondered why you want to get rid of it? Personally I don't see what's wrong with a little one having them. Its a source of comfort just like a baby comfort sucking at the breast. My dd loves her dummy and I have no plans to take it away from her until she is a little older and able to understand me explaining to her that she doesn't need it any longer. Idont want to through a spanner in the works but why unsettle your LO and your precious sleep for a dummy. Sleep is way too important to miss! Lol

You haven't thrown a spanner in the works. It's good to hear different opinions.

Dh is against giving it back but he's not the one who has to suffer terrible naps and an overtired baby during the day. I've given it back to ds for his nap just now. He was up at 4.45 and was in a right old state by 7.30. He went to sleep within about 2 seconds with the dummy. I gave it to him at 5am but he just cried through it until I brought him in bed with us and he wriggled around wanting to get up. Anyway, I'm going to try and just keep it in the cot for sleep times and see how we get on. He can settle himself as he's proved at bed time but the naps are taking too long for him to settle making him very over tired. I'll have to see how it goes him not having it during day too. I need to keep my sanity somehow! Perhaps once he's got more understanding when he's 2 or 3 we can do the dummy fairy or something.

The reason we decided to take it away was because we'd heard its harder once they're older and become more attached rather than taking it early and they forget quicker. Also worried about his speech and teeth. I don't want him with a dummy in his mouth all day stopping him from babbling and talking. I'm a worrier, I worry about everything lol.

 

[izzlesnizzle]

Plus the fact I have to keep in perspective he won't still have it at school hopefully, whereas dd will as she's a finger sucker and that will be a very hard habit for her to break! I think this is why I'm so worried about him having a dummy long term.

 

[LoraLoo]

Alices speech, or lack of, was also the reason we removed her dummy, plus it was pushing her teeth forward.
Her speech has come on leaps and bounds in the 3 months she's not had it.

 

[laura109]

I feel pressured with my lg as my mum says in a couple of months i need to take it from her (she will be just a year) im quite happy to give her it for sleeping at night for longer. There can be so much pressure to do what people expect. Ideally id love her not to have it but shes so good in every other way so shes allowed to have ine source of comfort. Xx

 

[lau86]

Certainly for my ds2 a year was too late to remove it without him getting really upset, we missed that window. We took ds1 away at 6 months as he was waking soooo many times a night and even that took a few weeks to settle down.
I think having it for sleep is a good compromise. If you're worried about teeth you could always pop it out of his mouth when he's asleep. It can have downsides but people don't consider it the same as eg taking away a favourite teddy which essentially it is to them

 

[captainj1]

My son had his in the car and for sleeps in his cot until he was 3. At about 3 years 3 months he just decided one day he was a big boy and didn't need a dummy any more and so we threw them away and that was that. Never had any problems with speech as he didn't have it in the daytime unless asleep or in the car, and the dentists advice was that as long as it was gone before his adult teeth came (the first two came in when he was 4 yrs 10 months) in it wouldn't be an issue.

I was very anti dummy before i had a sucky child! I see no issue with leaving it longer before you take it off him. It can give great comfort while teething, transitioning to a bed, potty training etc etc.

 

[Twag]

I was totally against giving my son a dummy but he was such a sucky baby always wanting to be latched on so I caved and gave him one. My son just loves his dummy it is his most precious possession saying this he only has it at bedtime/nap time and he will leave it on his bed! He has very good speech 👍

I know he needs to give it up but I know he isn't ready yet and would be devastated if his source of comfort was taken from him

He will give it up eventually I know he will 👍

Good luck with whatever decision you make

 

[broodymrs]

My ds is 2yrs, 3months and still has his. We intended to take it at 2 but then he was ill so we didn't. Noticed him getting very attached to it so only let him have it for sleep. He did keep asking so we told him it had gone to the moon. He completely accepted this and now knows his dummy is on the moon in the daytime but comes back for bedtime! Hoping to give it the Easter bunny at Easter and get rid once and for all. His speech and teeth are fine I just think he's getting a bit old now and it's only going to get harder to take.

 

[SpringCrane]

We are really struggling with paci use with my son. He's 2.5 and is very attached. We do our best to limit use to just sleep/car, but if he finds one during the day he pops it in and we fight over giving it up. He wins the fight more often than not... He's told me he's going to stop using it when the baby's here, but I'm doubtful. He has excellent speech, even with the darn paci in his mouth, so sometimes I don't even realize he's using it when he shouldn't. He's only ever used one type, which is discontinued, so I'm really hoping he's ready to part with them before we lose our remaining few. I do NOT want his sleep disrupted! We said we'd take it at 6 months... then a year... and 18 months... and at 2... And now we're expecting another, I just want everyone settled and soothed