Ectopic or MC, either way I lost my bean

[Luvlybabybump]

My TTC journey only just began in November. I had my IUD removed and I got pregnant right away, that part was the good news.
The bad news, was it wasn't a healthy pregnancy. I didn't even know I was pregnant since I got my period on Dec. 11th but when I was still bleeding on day 16, I knew something was wrong. I had no symptoms but the blood test came out positive and I was pregnant.
I was shock to hear it so I had a hard time allowing myself to hope for the best. As it turned out, the next couple of blood test proved I was losing my bean. Since it was so early in the pregnancy and because I have two aunts that had ectopic, my doctor didn't want to take a chance (the ultrasound revealing fluid behind my uterus), we treated it as an early ectopic pregnancy. He scheduled me for an injection of Methotrexate which is a cancer drug that stops the growth of rapidly developing cells.
I felt ill afterwards, like I had the flu. I've had cramps for days and the bleeding it still going on, today is day 26.
I do feel better now. I've had a few good cries. I know that I would have been worst off (emotionally) if I had known about the pregnancy longer or if I had to have had surgery. Thankfully it didn't come to that. Though, sitting in the Oncology unit was a bit tramatic. I see my doctor again on Thursday to make sure my body is on track. I'm praying for good news. I don't want another injection.
I just wanted to share my story with you. This website has been very helpful and comforting. There are soo many wonderful, sweet ladies here ready to offer advice and support.
I pray we all get our very own happy sticky bean for 2009!

 

[MUMMYALLY08]

I am so sorry for your loss, hunni, i am praying you get your sticky bean in 2009.
xxxx

 

[morayo]

oh dear, sorry about ur loss hun. ur sticky bean will certainly come soon. give urself time to grieve if u have to and contiinue with ur ttc journey if doc says its ok too. hugs!

 

[haaza123]

Hey so sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of .
xxx

 

[lauraxloo]

Hi there

I'm so sorry to hear your story. I too took a period after conception and didn't realise I was pregnant until I felt really tired and just different. I took a test after my period had gone and it was positive. I just assumed I was about five wks at that time and had took my period, as some people do. I told my family I was pregnant and booked an appointment with the doctor. I hit what should have been 7-8 wks & started bleeding (just like a normal period). I went to the EPAU and had an internal scan which was empty - nothing was there. I then had to have blood tests every two days until they could establish if it was an ectopic pregnancy or a mc. I was devastated. This was my first pregnancy and never imagined, in a million years, that it would end like that. I was advised to wait a couple of cycles before trying again but was too sad to think about it. We started trying again about 7 months later. It took a while to conceive, well, about six months, but it felt like a lifetime. Every month I was praying my period wouldn't come and everyone around me was falling pregnant. I was still hurting deep inside and couldn't speak to anyone about it. My family and husband said it happened for a reason but I still don't understand why me. I am now 10 1/2 wks and can't let it sink in. I have now missed two periods. I thought it would never happen but it has. It's almost like I can't enjoy the moment though because I'm so scared it will be taken away again. I have my first scan in just over a week and although I'm excited I'm also terrified. I have relaxed as much as possible this time and really taken it easy. My fingers and toes are crossed.

I hope you find the strength to get through this. It isn't a short process and what people don't understand is that you need time to grieve. It's more difficult than actually losing someone I think because you've lost something that you've never met, even though your body changed and you could feel yourself adapting for the situation.
My thoughts are with you!

Take care

xx

 

[Luvlybabybump]

Oh Dear Lauraxloo,
I think I might cry. It's hard to "be strong". Especially with loving family and friends telling you that it was for a reason and at least you have your health. You know, those kinds of things. They mean well but meanwhile you have to grieve quietly because you feel you have to. At least that's how I feel. My DH is trying to be there for me but to him, it was just a bunch of cells (I don't mean that in a bad way) but he has more of a scientific mind. On the other hand, I feel like I have a little angel that I will always think about. I hope our angels look over your pregnancy. May you grow big and beautiful this time around and have your healthly little one in 30 weeks or so!

 

[becky77]

so sory for your loss, it is a truly awful thing to go through , but i am sure your lo will bless you with another lo to watchover .

hugs

 

[rabbit]

sorry for your loss, i had a suspected ectopic pregnancy in november (would have been my first pregnancy) and was also treated with methotrexate, i was bleeding on and off for a further 4 weeks after the injection so i know how you feel! it's also frustrating that i've been told to wait 3 months before trying again, i managed to avoid a second injection also!
anyway, lets hope we both get a sticky one in the not too distant future

 

[Orange lady]

Hi
I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss.
This website has been an enormous comfort to me since my mmc in December.
Everybody is right here when you need them.
Take care

 

[Chris77]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[honey08]

so so sry for ur loss hun
like lauraxloo i fell pg for first time in march last yr, at 11wk i started spotting, we went for scan and id mmc,the baby hadnt grown past 5wk we knew we wanted to try asap, it had taken a long time to get pg the first time, after i had a dnc,in may08 i got my proper period bk, and we finally got our nov08 !!
the first pregnancy devastated me, for wks i was thinking,can i really put myself and family thro this if it were to happen again, then i just got stronger ..... im 13wk 2day and sure this one is guna be just fine lots of ladies, either mc,mmc,av eptopic etc with there first pregnancys, or if they aint been pg for a good few yrs,its something thats so traumactic yet common
stay strong hun,hope u will get a super sticky bean asap