Egg donation

[MissingBubs]

Ok, so after a mc a mmc and an ep over the last 2 years I find myself with 1 tube (which tests show may have adhesions) and although I've not seen my consultant to know the full prognosis we've been researching our options and can see that IVF could be a very probable necessity.
My DH has a daughter from a previous relationship and so we will not be eligable for NHS IVF, private costs are soooooo steep. We have been looking into egg donation so that the cost for our IVF will be dramatically reduced.
I love the thought of helping another couple (as I hope someone would help us in that situation), but the thought of us being unsuccessful in our attempts when somebody could be very successful with my egg donation really worries me. As does the thought of a knock at the door in 18 years.
Does annyone have any advice or experience?
I just feel so unsure and uneducated in these areas. I thought come off the pill and bobs your uncle.

 

[rachelle1975]

Hey hun

I'm contemplating going down the ES route especially due the financial implications of IVF.

If you look on the HFEA website it will show clinics near to you that cover IVF where you can eggshare. At The Lister, they encourage you to have a whole bunch of tests via your GP (mine has completed 70%) and providing you fit the criteria (BMI, health etc) they will often complete the remaining tests for you free of charge.

It can be quite a lengthy process in the sense you have to have 2 HIV tests done 12 weeks apart, when these are done you have counselling and they run through whether you are suitable before searching for a match on their register. If they find a suitable match there can be delays as you both need to be ready to cycle at the same time - i know there was a girl at my clinic who had an extra delay due to the recipient being overseas.

Typically the IVF is free and you pay the HFEA fee - if you need ICSI on the day you will most probably have to pay for that as well as any freezing costs etc.

You are right though, in 18 years there could be a child knocking at the door but they will cover all this with the counselling which you can have to see if it's something you can definitely do. They also won't tell you the results of the recipients transfer unless you ask.

At the Lister it's an even split of embryos providing there is over 10 - any odds and they would go to you and if you have under 10 then you can donate all eggs to the recipient and have another free paying going for yourself where you don't have to egg share.

For us the thought of donating doesn't bother me as i see the egg as just that - i'm wasting one each month and if it can bring someone happiness then great. I also don't see it as 'my baby' so i feel at peace with a child knocking on my door in 18 years as that child would have it's own parents and i've just helped them to be that. You know?

One thing i will say is that IVF is a huge rollercoaster and it's taken me 2 months to feel at peace after my first cycle.... but, if you can get through your m/c you can get through ivf hun and you will be fine - more importantly, you will be a mum

p.s. sorry it was so long winded....!!! x

 

[MissingBubs]

Thank you, your information is very useful and enlightening.
I didn't realise it was so complicated, ie- cycle patterns having to match, having a receipiant ready and waiting (I presumed that simply saying you would donate them would be good enough to allow your IVF to begin).
So it's not likely to be a case of here are my eggs now lets get cracking and make me a Momma???? Damn!!!!
But seriously, what happens if I say I would like to be a donor and nobody wants my eggs for 6 years? Do I have to wait for them to find a match? I'm mixed race and I wonder if that's a blessing or not? I pressume its like any donation, bone marrow etc, mixed race donors are few and far between- does that mean mixed race receipiants are sparse too?
Also, how do they get my cycles in sync with the other lady? Do I have to wait for her to go on the pill and then stop taking it at the right time?
I'm sorry if I sound dumb, I'm just so new to all this. Also, what on earth is ICSI?
I'm currently under the care of one of the top fertility specialists in the north west, Mr Armatage and although I'm still an NHS patient at the moment, I know that he does private and that private will be my only option. But nobody has actually told me that natural conception is beyond our reach.
I'm probably jumping the gun, but I want to be prepared. I'm 27, newly married and desparate to be a Mum. Although I know I'm not old as such I do feel like time is not on our side.
Sorry for the rant and explosion of questions. It's all so complicated.

 

[rachelle1975]

Hey

At the lister if you are purely donating eggs but not having IVF yourself it's a different protocol - the thing is that embryos freeze better than unfertilised eggs and there is a higher success rate so they want embies to freeze and not just basic eggs or sperm.

Depending on what protocol you would use - they would use BCP and then start you on DR (sniffing or injection) before having a baseline scan to start stimms - these would take 10-16 days and then there would be EC where they fertilise straight away and ET 2-5 days later.

I've not been a recipient so don't know what the criteria are that they look for but i do know they go for the basic - height/weight/hair/eye colour and i would have thought skin colour as well- mixed race would possibly be an advantage??

ICSI is a type of IVF used if you have low volume or poor motility in sperm. It's when they inject the egg with a selected sperm that appears normal and it has an average fertilisation rate of 70%. Have they tested your OHs sperm?

If you were paying for a private cycle then you would need to have standard tests - Hep B, C, HIV, Rubella, Day 3 and 21 bloods before starting the cycle but you could start within weeks of your appt depending on where you are in your cycle. I started on CD21 and went straight into down regulating so it was a 6 week process from start to testing.

You have 1 tube so and have had pregnancies naturally so it would seem you can conceive - might be worth having your DH do an SA and you trying an HSG to see if there are any blockages - they would do this before starting IVF anyway and it will give you an idea of what needs to be done. x

 

[MissingBubs]

Rachelle, you are my IVF angel!
Thanks so much for your help.
I had a HSG on the 20th Oct, I don't see my nhs consultant until 9th Jan, but the radiographer told me that my remaining tube is not blocked, but seemed swollen with possible adhesions at the distal end. I'm guessing this does not rule us out for natural conception, but will increase my risk of more ectopics.
As for DH, I can't imagine that there are issues with his swimmers. I've been preggo 3 times since Jan 2009. 1st time took 1 month, 2nd time took 5 months and 3rd time we were NTNP for 2 months maximum. Also his healthy 12 year old daughter was concieved in a 3 month relationship. Our NHS consultant seems to think that the issue is not with my eggs or his wrigglers. But I am aware that the NHS do not like to spend any money unless they HAVE to, so I have already discussed with DH having a SA when we go private.
I suppose I just want to be fully informed so that I can go in to that clinic and know exactly what we want, need and expect from our treatment.
Thanks again for your help.

 

[hayley1982]

ive done 3 egg share cycles at the lister and its only 8 eggs you need to split.they are a really nice clinic and have been okd to egg share again but dont know when yet.we have twin boys from our 3rd cycle and are now 2

 

[MissingBubs]

Hi Hayley, I saw your siggy on a few posts last night and was contemplating pming you. Can you fill me in on a bit more info please?
What qualifies you to be a donor for ES?
How did you deal with the thoughts of the donor mother being successful and you potentially not?
What was the overall cost for your first IVF treatment with ES?
How long did it take for you to get a match?
How long does the IVF cycle take with ES?

Sorry for the bombardment of questions!! I'm just feeling a lot of mixed emotions, but mainly excitement!!

Also, huge congrats on your twins. That is my dream!! It's so hard having been so close and now wondering if it will ever happen. You always think it will happen to someone else iykwim.

TIA. xx