Egg donor!

[jk28]

Hi all

Just wondered if anyone's in the same boat as me?? After many treatments, (3 IUI's, 3 IVF's) plus 2 mmc's our Dr's told us that the only way, (unless we have a great miracle) of getting a healthy pg is by using an egg donor, due to my poor quality eggs. We have discussed this thoroughly & have decided to go ahead with this, as I will still have the pregnancy & birth, (hopefully) that I desperately want. However, I can't seem to find anyone else going through this, (although I'm sure there is) & just wanted other people's opinions & support. I'm aware it wouldn't be everyone's choice, but we feel it's the right thing for us, if we can't have "our own", although it will be ours to us, (if that makes sense)??

Thanks

Love Jayne x

 

[CurlySue]

It's something that my husband and I considered before this IVF cycle. If the problem was my eggs we were going to at least look into it.

It's different than a sperm donor, I think, in that the mother still has the egg implant into her. She still feeds it, nurtures it, helps it grow. She still feels the baby kick. It might not have her genetics, might not be biologically 'hers' but her body will still produce the pregnancy hormones, will still kick-start the maternal instincts and endorphins that are released once the baby is born.

With a sperm donor the husband has no real 'say' in the growth of the child. We decided that if the problem was his sperm then we would not go ahead. It sounds hypocritical, in a sense, but it's just that he felt he would not have felt a part of the child in the same way that I would feel part of it if the egg were not mine having given birth to it, etc.

These days you can have a closely matched egg. Height, weight, hair colour, eye colour, etc, as close a match to the mother as they can physically find.

 

[jk28]

Thanks Curlysue, that's exactly how we felt about it. It's not an easy decision, not that anything is when talking about infertility, but we feel we've tried everything else & DH not sure about adoption, (I was adopted myself, but I understand how he feels), so we feel we need to try this. I'm in Spain, so hoping they can match me well!! Lots of small,petite women here!!

Love Jayne x

 

[Lawhra]

I'm not going through what you are, but I was going to donate my eggs to a couple several years ago (it fell through due to her being too old, i'd thought she was in her 40's but she was a lot older!). And I understood why people go down that route.
As mentioned, your body nurtures and grows the baby, you will give birth and possibly breast feed, everything you would do if it were your egg. Genetics do not a Mother make, love, comfort, and nurturing make a Mother.
I wish you all the best with your journey and hope you can talk to someone going through the same.
Good luck with your bfp