Embarrassed about lack of libido

[melenarz]

Hi, I'm new to the 3rd trimester here. 28 weeks tomorrow! I've had a somewhat tough experience so far. Morning sickness was horrendous and now I'm just realizing its been forever since dh and I have been intimate. I'm very embarrassed to be posting about this, but I'm at a loss. He has been more than gracious by not pressuring or hounding me, but now I'm just feeling bad about my lack of desire. He has done so much to get involved and even gotten weekly email newsletters for dads! He keeps reading how I should be sex crazy, and I'm not. I'm just tired. I feel so bad, like I'm an awful wife because it honestly has been months now. It's almost awkward now to try and I initiate anything.

I just don't know what to do here. Is there any way I can increase my desire? Anyone else experienced the same thing and have any recommendations??

 

[Sarahrei]

I don't have any suggestions, but I can tell you that you aren't alone. I think my husband and I last had sex at 14 weeks...so it's been awhile.

It actually makes more sense to me that we don't have a sex drive during pregnancy, I mean we have a sex drive to encourage us to have babies. Once we're pregnant why would we want to have sex?

 

[Lamont]

my sex drive is here and active but my husbands is non existent! If your finding it difficult then dont worry about it many pregnant women dont have sex at all throughout pregnancy. But if you want to try and have sex then YOU need to make yourself comfortable and feel sexy for you, your OH will get the hint when ur in the mood lol

 

[musicmomma]

My husband and I have had sex 4 times this entire pregnancy. Don't feel too bad. You will be back to normal a few weeks after baby. Luckily my hubby understands. He wants it but doesn't pester me. I do "other" things for him LOL. When you think about it its only but a short time in your entire marriage that your sex life is lacking. It's not like its been years or will be years!

 

[arlene]

Think we've dtd about 4 or 5 times since I fell pregnant. I'm the same I feel shattered and don't want to, then I feel bad and almost "make" myself do it, then find I actually really enjoy it! My OH was a bit paranoid about it at first in that he felt I had got what I wanted so wasn't interested anymore but now he's fine about it. We tried the other night and failed spectacularly mostly due to me being unable to find a comfy position! Like a pp said though, we do "other" things to keep him happy lol. Don't stress about it xx

 

[Mommabrown]

Oh I can tell you personally how every pregnancy is different...with my last one DH and I were like rabbits...with this one NO WAY IN HELL! It wasn't till these last few weeks that he even started getting any action! Now i find myself talking him into dtd so we can make this baby come out! lol

 

[viriniad21]

So not alone on this one, I explained it to hubs that I feel like a junebug stuck on it's back with legs flailing in the air. There is just no way to feel sexy about that.

 

[JessicaM123]

Ive had sex about 3 times? my OH struggled for a while to understand why i didn't want to, and we had plenty of arguments as i think he thought i wasn't attracted to him. Just explain to him, 9 months goes pretty fast in my opinion

 

[love2live]

I've had this problem too! It was worse in my last pregnancy. This one I can tolerate trying every once in a while, but mostly we have found "other" ways to keep things going. It really does come right back after the baby comes and your hormones settle down.

 

[MomPepperdine]

Yeah I hate anything sexual lol and sperm for some reason kicks up ms. The other day I was doing some stuff for dh and he got cum on the bed and I almost threw up!

 

[baileybubs]

You are definately not alone Hun, my sex drive definately went down during this pregnancy. And don't feel bad about it! Yes it is true that SOME women have an increase in libido but its also just as likely that pregnant women have a decrease in libido. I know you feel like its bad on your OH but think about what you are actually doing for him at the moment, you are growing and nurturing his child until they are ready to meet the world. I'm sure he understands, just have a chat with him and make sure he knows how much you would love to but just can't feel it right now. I know I have tried to a few times, and it's just felt uncomfortable and I haven't enjoyed it, that's how it works for some women, but coz I didn't enjoy it my df then felt bad and felt like he had made me feel like I had to (which he hadnt at all).

 

[Bubsta]

Sex drive? What's that? We've DTD twice throughout this pregnancy. I have NO desire. The last time we 'did it' was plain uncomfortable. Thankfully DH has been wonderful about it. The weird thing is, the last two nights I've had sexy dreams, but still have no desire when I wake up. Your not alone Hun. It's annoying, and I feel guilty sometimes too, but it is what it is. Xx

 

[Taurus8484]

OMG.........thank you for this thread......I thought it was just me!!!!!. I could count on one hand the number of times me and hubby have done the deed through this pregnancy.

I was horribly sick until 16 weeks, so the thought of sex was horrific. And hubby didnt want to as he didnt want me to miscarry again, even though I assured him the two werent related, he was buying it.

And then started to feel baby move and the thought of being intimate with baby boy moving around inside me.........well it turns me off completely. Tried it a couple of times and then baby would move and all the feelings I was having just disappeared...

 

[CupcakeBaby]

We've had sex once the whole pregnancy and one other time we did other stuff.

Both of those were in 2nd tri though.

I told DH off for gently kissing my arm last night as it was annoying me!! That's how much of a libido I don't have!

 

[iwanababybump]

Sex is non existence in my house and hasn't been since I was around 12 weeks i do "other" things for him lol but have no intention of sex as I feel like a bloody beached whale lol not sexy at all