Endometriosis Diary

[Fliss]

So it's my birthday - two years ago today I was in hospital after my waters spoentaneouslyy burst waiting for a doctor to examine me to see if I really was in labour - I was.

THIS year my husband has been rushed to hospital by his own mother because of a suspected gall bladder infection.

I'd quite like the world to stop for a few days because I'm exhausted and in pain and I need a BREAK.

 

[Fliss]

Oh god week from hell. DH has been ill since BH Monday. He was hospitalised on Thursday (my birthday) then I had to rush Nathan to the hospital on Friday (HIS birthday) at 11pm because he developed croup.


DH is discharged now but has a week on sick WITHOUT a note because the hospital forgot/couldn't be bothered and I've got the HV coming on Tuesday for Nathan's 2 year review and the house is a shit tip because I've only just held it together.

Wine. Wine is good.

 

[Fliss]

So I got a letter through on Saturday informing me I am booked in for admission under Dr. Price (*snerk* since that is my dad's name though not my dad as he is a Clinical Pathologist not a surgeon).

My operation (or at least I think it's an operation since it's an 07:30 admission but it doesn't SAY that explicitly so I will be checking at the clinic next week) is booked for 02 September 2014.

My boss' baby is due 28th August 2014.

This could be fun.

I really really don't care though - I am not re-scheduling it oh no.

 

[babyvaughan]

My lap turned into scar tissue removal A LOT of it, required two surgeon's it was all over my ladie parts, had my uterus like an hourglass, and had my intestine's connected to my uterus. No wonder I was in so much pain for so long and no wonder I couldn't get pregnant my uterus was half way cutt off. I left the hospital only to be back a few hours later and I was admitted for 3 more days because of issues. I'm so happy to have had it done, i'm still healing tomorrow is my post op, i'm 16 days post op. Doing well just one incision is infected

 

[Fliss]

Sorry you have an infection babes :'(

So, just had my Endo Clinic meeting.

Went better than I could have hoped.

My issues seem to be purely physiological - so they are doing the laser separation on 2nd September.

Consultant didn't seem to think that TTC would then be a problem within a few months of the procedure.

So DH and I have agreed to NTNP from January (pending coil removal since doctor's appointments for that are tough to get) and then seriously TTC from May.

If we haven't falled within that year (May - May) then he has advised we would then need to *consider* IVF given that by then I would be 33....

 

[Fliss]

I've thought about it and I think I will keep my coil in until mid-feb. If I'm still in my current job that's the end of our crazy-busy time so I'll have racked up a LOT of overtime and be knackered and stressed so even NTNP could be too much to think about.

Better to wait til after and focus a little. And with endo the more "pointless" periods I have the greater the danger.

 

[babyvaughan]

Well my post op wasnt best he said he was able to free my tube and my intestine from my uterus but he said if we dont concieve in.next few months then our chances are only ivf because it would be.due my scarring narrowing my tubes to much so egg cant drop =( we were actually thinking about stopping ttc for a year but after hearing that we are so confused! =/

 

[Fliss]

Personally? If your circumstances mean you can afford a baby overall? Do it and ttc. Don't take the risk - of course IVF/IUI are options - but they are expensive - try naturally first then go for the medical stuff?


Bad day today.

Been bleeding randomly for over a week - pain comes and goes in waves.

I want to be TTC.

I want to not be in pain.

I want not to have to work for a living.

I want a large glass of wine

 

[babyvaughan]

Yeah I couldn't make up my mind in time so we BD 2 twice in my fertile days. I decided to opk one day and it was close to positive, randomly decided at night to opk day of expected ovulation and bam darker than control. So we BD then I opked next night to see if it was over and it was so well see. Also I never had that egg white strechy cm but boy did I have it lol. So I think my surgery helped more than what we planned for. I'm honestly not having high expectations i'm not going to go crazy take pg test or anything like I have in the past If i'm a few days late i'll test.

AF due 17th

 

[Fliss]

Good luck sweetie

Oh cr*p.

Serious stabbing pains in my left hand side. Possibly where my ovary is? Not too 'up' on the physical biology placement of things.

Feel like utter shite, have a MASSIVE meeting in 30 minutes that I am note-taking for.

My trusty hot water bottle isn't touching it and I feel sick with it.

Today is the first anniversary of the death of a very good friend and I just want to crawl into a hole and cry and cry and cry.

 

[Fliss]

Got my pre op assessment. Exactly two weeks before the op. Missing another big meeting. Boss handed in his notice verbally. Screwed. So screwed. Had enough.

 

[babyvaughan]

July was a bust, due to O on Friday praying and praying august brings BFP the longer time goes the more likely for my scar tissue to grow back and ruin my chances period!

 

[Fliss]

You know I have EVERYTHING crossed for you lovely x

 

[Fliss]

So my husband has spent the last week in the States for his new job. He's home tomorrow thank goodness.

However, the chance of moving abroad is back on the table. His immediate boss has been tasked with creating a team of 5 people total, of which Jo is the first. They wanted him specifically even though it meant he was based in the UK.

We thought that they wanted to set up a UK branch of the company and so wouldn't want Jo to move over there. We were wrong.

So, he has to work there for a minimum of 12 months before they could even apply for the visa for him, so this is definitely an 18-month minimum plan. Le hubs is freaking out because I've basically said: "right, let's do it".

But I would most likely only be able to travel over there on a spousal visa. Which means I legally wouldn't be able to work. Which means by default I'd be a SAHM. Which, quite frankly, scares the bejeebus out of me. I do NOT have a lot of patience with Nathan after 48 hours...

So some mega ground rules would need to be set - I am not doing every damn thing every damn day. If taking care of the house and kid(s) becomes my job, as in my working life - then I deserve breaks and some time off.

I appreciate this is not the usual way one approaches being a SAHP - but this would be through necessity, not choice, and I'm not ending up being overworked and unappreciated and turning into a seething ball of resentment over 'loss of career' or something similar.

I know myself well.

On the plus side, we could potentially rent our house out without selling it - we're very close to Banbury train station so a good commuting location.

I'm worried about my medical condition - a pre-existing condition like this Stateside? Could cause problems. Admittedly if I can get all my immediate surgical needs sorted out before we moved then that's not so bad - just need regular access to pain pills and hormonal BC.

Also, we would be trying for baby #2 from next year which needs to be factored into travel plans but god alone knows when or indeed if I would fall pregnant again.

Gah no wonder I'm feeling ill and stressed!

 

[babyvaughan]

Wow thats huge news, by states you mean like USA right? I live in the US is why I ask lol. I can see how that would be a lot of stress with being ill and having children and planning to TTC in the time frame.. I'm having enough with my chronic health issues and ttc can't imagine adding moving to another country, renting my home, and already having children.. he better give you more than a few breaks lol

 

[Fliss]

Yep. His new office is in Boston - so bloody expensive. Not sure if we can do it on current salary. But we need a bigger house for baby #2 and I don't want to uproot Nathan more than once before school starts so we have two years and that's it.

 

[Fliss]

Been in agony for at least the last fortnight with on-again-off-again spotting and it's so SO frustrating.

31 years of age and having to cadge towels from workmates.

I so need to invest in some CSP.

 

[Fliss]

Oh gods so much pain. Not intense but it's been constant for a fortnight.

It just gets so wearing.

 

[babyvaughan]

Today is AF due date, No symptoms, but also no sore PMS boobs.. weird! Hoping that which takes a 9 mo vacation. Or i'm afraid i will begin loosing hope again!

 

[babyvaughan]

Offically 3 days late