Enjoying being a Mum more now?

[GreyGirl]

Anyone else found this once they stopped BF? I REALLY wanted to, and it's a long story as to why I'm no longer BF. Basically my baby has had TT cut twice, has LT and I have PCOS and very low supply. The first 7 weeks of her life has been marred a little for me by trying everything to get BF to work. We didn't bond as well/quickly as I wanted because of it and I'll always feel guilty for that, and because BF didn't work out.
We've been exclusively FF for around a week now and I'm enjoying being a Mum more now the pressure is off and I'm focusing on being a Mum now instead of trying to flog the dead horse that was BF for us (I NEVER managed to express over 1oz!)
I'm bonding better with Isabelle and although I don't like the time constraints of FF and the fact I can't just whip out a boob to feed or comfort her, we're working out our own methods and routines and it's working well. We're more relaxed as a family and although I'll probably always have some grief over my failed BF relationship, I know we've tried our best and moving forward we're doing the best for our baby. She is gaining weight well and is a happy little baby
Just wondering if anyone else has found the same?

 

[emmerypemmery]

I did. I broke my arm and was unable to breast feed dd so it was really important to me that I managed to feed ds, but we tried and tried and just didn't manage it. Once I made the decision to ff I felt a lot calmer and more in control. Breast feeding isn't for everyone and ff is just as good. Glad you feel better enjoy your baby xxx

 

[overcomer79]

I got bad depression with bf'ing dd. I had a lot of guilt lingering over not spending time with my son. She was always clustering. I was readmitted to the hospital when she was four days old so there I had to leave my son yet again...

I was a different mom when I ff.

 

[Noelle610]

Honestly? Yes. I was exclusively pumping and it was horrible. I feel a freedom now that can't be explained. I am so glad my daughter got breastmilk for the first 6 months of her life, but I am not sure I would do that all again. Getting up to pump in the middle of the night when your baby is sleeping has to be the most lonely thing in the entire world.

I also suffered from PND and insomnia. Now that I'm not longer breastfeeding I can take some pretty serious medication and I feel so, so much better.

I'm really glad formula is an option.

 

[socitycourty]

I started to feel a little happier once we stopped too.For me there was tremendous guilt because there was actually not a problem with actual BF...no latch issue, or supply issue or what not. It was my LO's intolerances and allergy/reflux that made it so hard on us. All she did was nurse, scream and vomit. She never slept more than 45 minutes at a time in her first 2 months.

I was incredibly guilty for months but it's starting to lift now

 

[zombiedaisy]

I'm sad bf didn't work due to my breast issues,but ff has made things easier in regards to having time for my two older kids. I can let my mom or dh hold LO and be able to feed him so I can tend to the other kids. I also don't feel as tied down and stuck in my room all day bf LO while my other two are running around the house and getting into things.

 

[Numero_uno]

Yeah I definitely feel happier, I bf for 7 weeks and I found it really easy from day 1, no sore nipples, no trouble what so ever latching but I was constantly worrying when we went out about having to feed in public. I used to sit there rocking the pram so there was less chance of him waking. I wouldn't be out the house for longer than 3 hours, I used to go a bf group and I would always give him a massive feed before going there so I didn't need to do it there which is wrong as I should be able to do it there. As soon as I stopped I am so much happier and can enjoy being a mum!

 

[detterose]

Much happier now. While I wanted nothing more then to BF, there was no point making myself so unhappy pursuing it. I was in constant pain, frustrated with LO when he wouldn't stay on after spending ten minutes just to get him to latch properly, then up expressing at all hours and missing out on time with him. Now that we're full time FF, I can get more sleep and OH is able to help out. Plus LO got the most important part, colostrum and eleven days worth of breast milk, so I can honestly say I tried my best.

 

[GreyGirl]

Thanks ladies, so glad it's not just me that felt like this

 

[b4baby]

I am so happy to read this thread. At the moment I am exclusive pumping but it is slowly beginning getting me down and I am not spending as much time with my DD as I would like. After I feed her I find myself rushing to get her to take a nap so I can express. It shouldn't be like this, I should be enjoying these precious moments as they don't last long enough. I am seriously contemplating moving over to FF but worried about the guilt that I will feel.

 

[pachamama]

I am so happy to read this thread. At the moment I am exclusive pumping but it is slowly beginning getting me down and I am not spending as much time with my DD as I would like. After I feed her I find myself rushing to get her to take a nap so I can express. It shouldn't be like this, I should be enjoying these precious moments as they don't last long enough. I am seriously contemplating moving over to FF but worried about the guilt that I will feel.

I could have written the above! DS2 is nearly 4weeks old and I feel like I've had enough of pumping (and I did it for DS1 for 25 months!) I never get any time to spend with DS1 and can relate to trying to get him to nap so I can express. Expressing is actually starting to make me quite anxious. I keep fantasising about moving to FF but like pp says am worried about the guilt. And intellectually I have absolutely nothing against formula - hell, DS1 was often topped up with it in the early days. I guess I just wish things were different - I wish BF'ing had been easier...

 

[Dk1234]

Honestly, no. I've made it to 7 months BFing so it's the easiest thing in the world now. Formula is a hassle to me but I'm preggo and my supply isn't cooperating.

 

[GreyGirl]

Honestly, no. I've made it to 7 months BFing so it's the easiest thing in the world now. Formula is a hassle to me but I'm preggo and my supply isn't cooperating.

I'm sorry to hear that

 

[Lara310809]

With my first baby I didn't manage to BF her properly; I never really got much milk and I'd have to top up every fed with formula. I quit at 1m and went to formula 100%. Instantly our bond became better.

With my second I'd have done the same, but sadly (and I have many MANY reasons to say that) I have enough milk for her, but she is too inflexible to allow me to stop. I had PND and am convinced BF is the reason I felt only hatred towards her for the frist 8m of her life. Had I been able to I would have gone to formula at 4m.

Breast is only best when it works for you, your baby and your situation. If it doesn't work, it can be your downfall. It was mine, and I nearly let it win. Hugs to you all; formula isn't about losing to BF; it's about doing what you had to do

I've gone through so much this past year with my youngest, I'm actually scared to even start BF a third baby (we're currently TTC). My husband wants me to give it at least a month, but I'm honestly worried it's going to be the same thing all over again, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I'm seriously considering going straight to formula next time.

 

[socitycourty]

With my first baby I didn't manage to BF her properly; I never really got much milk and I'd have to top up every fed with formula. I quit at 1m and went to formula 100%. Instantly our bond became better.

With my second I'd have done the same, but sadly (and I have many MANY reasons to say that) I have enough milk for her, but she is too inflexible to allow me to stop. I had PND and am convinced BF is the reason I felt only hatred towards her for the frist 8m of her life. Had I been able to I would have gone to formula at 4m.

Breast is only best when it works for you, your baby and your situation. If it doesn't work, it can be your downfall. It was mine, and I nearly let it win. Hugs to you all; formula isn't about losing to BF; it's about doing what you had to do

I've gone through so much this past year with my youngest, I'm actually scared to even start BF a third baby (we're currently TTC). My husband wants me to give it at least a month, but I'm honestly worried it's going to be the same thing all over again, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I'm seriously considering going straight to formula next time.

I think you are totally right in thinking of going to FF first....there is nothing wrong with that especially if it's the price for saving your health. Moms are people too, not just a set of boobs (which I honestly feel like some people think that way) don't put yourself through hell again just to please other people. Your DH should not have any say in BF as it's your body and your mental health too.

 

[Dk1234]

Honestly, no. I've made it to 7 months BFing so it's the easiest thing in the world now. Formula is a hassle to me but I'm preggo and my supply isn't cooperating.

I'm sorry to hear that

It's ok it's not the end of the world. BFing was just really at a point for us that it was super easy. No bottles, no sterilizing, no mixing, and it took him 5 minutes to eat and no big deal. But I'm just not use to formula yet so maybe it'll get easier.

 

[opeeny]

This is such a great thread and really makes me feel so much better as I went through what many of you have... Pain, latch issues, exclusive pumping.... Now I just bf during day but top off with formula and full ff at night and I am so much happier! I'm so tired of feeling guilty about it and just trying to be happy with my baby girl now! Thanks so much for starting this thread it's great not being alone!

 

[Lara310809]

...I'm so tired of feeling guilty about it and just trying to be happy with my baby girl now!...

It's sad how women feel guilty. Despite having gone through all I've gone through, I still feel guilty for not having managed to BF my first baby successfully, and she's about to turn three! And I know how silly it is that I feel that way. We were both happier when I went to formula, but I still feel like I didn't do my "best" by her, which is rubbish. But that's peer pressure and society for you

 

[angelady]

Anyone else found this once they stopped BF?
I'm bonding better with Isabelle ...

my LO name is Isabelle too!

 

[Scottish mum]

Yes I know the feeling I bf and expressed for 3 weeks only but I felt miserable! As soon as I stopped and ff I felt so much better like there was no presure! X