Everyone around me has happy baby news!

[silarose28]

Hi everyone - I am crying my eyes out and need to rant!

OMG - I really have had enough of ttc.

Soooooo many of my friend have got their bfp - it seems I am surrounded by 'happy baby news'.

I have a group of 4 best friends - 2 have recently had children and 1 is pregnant. The other has moved away so doesn't see us much. I just don't want to go out with the other 3 on my own - it upsets me. 1 of them in particular talks about nothing but children - and then I just feel useless.

My friend who has moved away called me last week. She is not a phone person and rarely calls me. I was so scared to answer the phone in case I heard more happy baby news!

2 other friends are also preggars - 1 facebooked me tonight to tell me and I burst into tears! How would I have coped if she told me face to face?!

I know I should be happy for them and I am - I just can't cope with the feeling of hopelessness and sadness ttc brings!

I feel like hiding away - I honestly don't want to talk to anyone. I do have 3 single friends who aren't preggars - but they just don't get it and if I talk about it with them I feel like I am making a fuss over nothin!

I HATE THIS!

 

[Manchester_Lu]

I know exactly how you feel, when my sis announced she was pregnant in July it knocked my and I was an emotional mess for days!

I think she's put something in the water though as over the past two months, four of her friends have announced that they are pregnant and two of mine have too.

I guess most people have absolutely no problems with getting pregnant and have never even thought of charting, doing ovulation tests, losing weight, taking supplements and drugs and then taking a pregnancy test and seeing another negative result.

Sometimes it's just too damn hard!

Stay positive though, I'm sure our time will come xx

 

[Nimyra]

I can totally relate. So many of my friends are getting pregnant and it is really hard to be around. I've been avoiding baby showers. My father told me over the phone two days ago that my cousin's wife is pregnant again and got very upset. It's easier for me to take the news if I know the person also had trouble conceiving - that feels different - but I'm really jealous when it seems like it was so easy for them.

Remember to take care of yourself. You aren't alone - and you can decide to take a break from pregnant or mommy friends for a little while if you need to. If they are real friends, they will try to understand.

Hang in there.

 

[Manchester_Lu]

I think the biggest trouble I have is that I haven't told anyone that we're trying for a baby even though it's been so long. I just can't handle their added pressure so I find myself shrugging off their "When are you two having a little one?" question like it's the furthest thing from my mind.....if only they knew

 

[Lou32]

I completely understand how you feel. I fear I'll have no friends left soon as I spend my whole time avoiding them because they either have babies and spend their whole time talking about them, they're pregnant or I'm terrified they'll tell me they're pregnant. Every time one of my friends comes back to visit I'm convinced she's going to announce she's pregnant. My little sister has told me she wants to start TTC soon and I'm scared to death about how I'm going to deal with it when she announces she's pregnant.
It's true that you just don't understand how it feels unless you've been through this. It feels like one big black cloud over your life the whole time and it seems so unfair that getting pregnant comes so easy to most people.
Staying positive is so difficult, but it's the only thing you can do or you'd drive yourself mad.
I'm totally feeling your pain but our time will come x

 

[peekaboo]

I'm with you all on this one. Since we've been TTC I've had SIX friends become pregnant, all of them within a couple of months of starting to try. One was an 'accident' and she even took the morning after pill, which was especially hard to deal with - the fact that she still got pregnant. Three of the people have had their babies and three are about to have them in the next few weeks. One of the couples hadn't even MET when we started trying and have since met, married and got pregnant, with the baby due this week! I have a friend who is getting married in a few months and she's already told me they're going to start trying as soon as they're married, and I'm soooooooo worried of not being pregnant by then as by then we would have been trying for two years, and I just know I would feel devastated if they just start trying two years later and get a baby before us. She kind of annoyed me the other day actually as she said 'knowing my luck I'll end up taking ages like you'. I found that quite an insensitive thing to say, almost as though it was a joke. But I know by now not to take anything a non-LTTTCer says about TTC to heart as they don't know how it feels to be in this position.

It will be our turn soon. xx

 

[Jasmine79]

wow, i can so relate

 

[beauty]

I can relate, about 2 friends pregnant and my sis pregnant!!

I had friends who have given birth since i have been ttc, and still here

 

[chefamy1122]

I can definitely relate

 

[Bumber]

This is catching like a cold isn't it.

Two of my best friends are pregnant. T

The first one was a total accident and before it happened she wanted to leave her partner. Then to add insult to injury she didnt tell me until she was 16 weeks (she lives away from my area) and then just emails me saying ring me I have news. I knew straight away and I like to think I am a nice person but inside I was seething. Turns out other people we both know knew before me and this is my best mate!! Her partner has since told me she didnt feel able to tell me. Which again insulated me. Now she is due in a few weeks and obviously talks about it non stop but yet she never asks me how we are getting on.

Its so tough !!!! xxxx

 

[lumpybumpy]

OMG!!! And I thought I was the only one feeling like this!!! Nearly all my friends seem to be pregnant or have just had babies at the moment. Each time I hear more baby news it feels like the knife in my heart has been turned yet again. It's soooo difficult, we've been ttc for over 18 months, to begin with I was very laid back and thought it will happen when the time's right but with so many pregnancy hormones flying around my friends it's now become a big deal.
All I can say is good luck to everyone out there ttc and big hugs to all!

 

[lady blush]

oh hunni im with you ive been trying to concieve for 5 years and all my friends are either on there 2nd pregnancy or are pregnant with there first, even the bloody family cat is pregnant.one of my unties texed me to say she is pregnant she said on the text she dident know how i would react if she told me face to face as she knows what ive been going through.

hope you get your BFP soon good luck.x

 

[silarose28]

Hi everyone

Feeling a bit better now! It's soooo helpful to know that I'm not going bonkers and that others feel like me.

It's always on my mind. I have really stopped talking about it as much as I can now. Can you believe it - I told one of my friends how upset I was the other day and she thought I was joking aroud and laughed as if I was totally irrational and ridiculous!!!! I'm not bothering to talk to anyone anymore - it only makes it worse!!! Wish I had kept the whole thing a secret now. People who know what I am feeling like treat me as if I'm ill (I can't bear the sympathy) and everyone else thinks I'm mad!!!

I work with children and have been asked twice recently 'Have you got children?' I feel like screaming!!! When I say no - everyone looks at me as if to say 'What does she know?' I feel like screaming that it's not for want of trying!!!! ARGHHHH!!

 

[peartree]

I'm so glad to have found this board, and that I can see people here that are in the same situation, to be able to reassure myself that I'm not a bad person for feeling sad when someone shares happy news.

In the space of the last 3 weeks, 5 people around me have had babies. They all announced their pregnancies around the time that DH was diagnosed with oligospermia. Don't get me wrong, I *am* happy for them, but in the pit of my stomach, I can't get rid of this gnawing sadness.

To top it all off, I started bleeding today. I was on CD50 of a normally 31-33 day cycle, and I had started to get my hopes up, but was too afraid to test.

 

[silarose28]

I'm so glad to have found this board, and that I can see people here that are in the same situation, to be able to reassure myself that I'm not a bad person for feeling sad when someone shares happy news.

In the space of the last 3 weeks, 5 people around me have had babies. They all announced their pregnancies around the time that DH was diagnosed with oligospermia. Don't get me wrong, I *am* happy for them, but in the pit of my stomach, I can't get rid of this gnawing sadness.

To top it all off, I started bleeding today. I was on CD50 of a normally 31-33 day cycle, and I had started to get my hopes up, but was too afraid to test.

Oh honey - it's so shitty when af arrives - especially when she decides to come late! You will feel better in a few days. I have felt so bad before that I couldn't go in to work and had to work from home! (Couldn't tell anyone that - they would think I was mad!!!!) I am sure our time will come xxxxxx

 

[kairzh7]

I too understand how you all feel. I have had 3 people that just had babies, one wasn't even trying, the other was not trying, not preventing and the third my sister-in-law conceived the first month of trying. And then to top it off she knows what I've been going through and she sits there and tells me how they were trying one month, but then were going to wait so she didn't deliver too close to the holidays. Wouldn't that be nice to have the luxury of picking when you'd deliver? I wanted to scream, I don't care when I deliver, I just want a baby. And when she delivers I'm still not pregnant which sucks because it is such a joyful time and I can't be happy for her and I'm sick of hearing her complain about not sleeping or being tired all the time. I would give anything to not be sleeping because I have a newborn, so I have a hard time being sympathetic. It doesn't help that she is totally insensitive to the whole thing.

My birthday was horrible because all I could think about was it was another marker of time that has passed without a baby. My nephew was born on my birthday which was bittersweet since I was TTC long before he was even thought about, but I'm happy to share my B-day with him.

The holidays are coming up and that is going to be soo hard to deal with. I remember the first Thanksgiving with my DH family we were trying, but no one knew at that time. There were 2 babies there and I remember thinking that next year we would be the ones with a little one. Those babies are now almost 4.

 

[amy_1234]

I can relate to this too, I feel like i don't have any friends anymore me and my fiance don't get invited out because we haven't got kids to take to see disney on ice for example, i feel all alone all my friends have got children and they got pregnant no problem, it just doesn't seem fair. It does help coming on this website because you don't feel so alone, i really hope we all get our wish and i know we are having to wait for a reason and that reason is that our babies will be so special they will be worth waiting for.xxxx

 

[fluffystar]

and i know we are having to wait for a reason and that reason is that our babies will be so special they will be worth waiting for.xxxx

Those are lovely words and it keeps me going to think of how special my baby will be when it finally happens.

I am so glad I found this thread. I start to feel like such a nasty person when I cant call friends who I know are trying in case they tell me that they are pregnant! I really am happy for them but find myself hoping that no one else will get pregnant until I am as each new pregancy announcement make me feel like more of a failure. I know that that is not realistic and just hope that friends cant sense it in my voice when they tell me their good news. Its just difficult keeping the enthusiastic questions up when im trying to fight off tears.

xx

 

[Artemis]

Sweetheart I know who you feel.

My S-I-L and I both started TTC at the same time and she fell within 2 weeks and we are 18 months down the line with no sign and dodgy sperm! She has the most beautiful baby girl but I am sooo jealous because her and her husband get everything first time on a plate (the jobs, the houses the babies) we work our @sses off just to survive and they rub our faces in it on a daily basis. They will never realise how lucky they are...