ex taking me to court!

[lauramarie]

Ex sent a letter to my solicitor today to state that if he doesn't get his own way then he is taking me to court. He currently has LO for 3 hours every sunday, and he wanted more access, i suggeted 8 hours but ever second weekend so i can spend weekends with LO too, and this would eventually be built up so he would have him the whole weekend and overnight too. He has refused this as he wants LO for the whole weekend now, and every weekend I feel that this would be too much for LO to cope with when he doesnt understand where he is going. Also FOB has NEVER enquired about LO's wellbeing and health, he has no interest. FOB met LO for the first time on his first birthday, as previous to this he didnt want anything to do with him! We have been to mediation but it was waste of time, because he just wants his own way. Anyone know what the likely outcome is if this went to court, which it probably will. thanks

 

[Ginger84]

I dont know anything about the courts so cant really advise, but from what you've said i would hope the court would not rule that especially if you have tried to negotiate first.

good luck

 

[mskellydenise]

I'vr never heard of a court awarding the non-custodial parent every weekend...you too are entitled to weekends with your little one...sounds like FOB is just being unreasonable...try the mediator...worst case scenario you have to go court and present your case...i'd suggest getting a lawyer if it gets to that point

 

[lauramarie]

Thanks for replies, i have a solicitor who says u can never tell what a judge will rule as every case is different, but she said that every second weekend is the norm and that the time would normally be built up, which is what i was proposing. just dreading going to court

 

[xKARENxBABYx]

im in same boat hun FOB taking me to court because he want LO friday-sat every weekend i said no he can have aiden every secound weekend sat-sun and every thrus 10-5 hes also taken me to court for everyweekend i got a really bad lawyers letter dreading going to court just wish they would think of their children first!

 

[lauramarie]

has he started proceedings for taking u to court? I would need to seek legal aid but waiting until i actually recieve letter stating that he is has started proceedings. I know that it is unlikely that they will get every weekend but theres still that doubt at the back of my mind. just so happened that on the same day i recieved solicitors letter, i got a letter from the CSA stating that he has to pay me a £115 a month more and pay backdated payments!

 

[xKARENxBABYx]

he hasen't yet but just waiting on the lawyers letter i know its gonna be a bad one! i would go and get a lawyer and apply for legal aid can take a month to come through just to save time. Same here hun im scared if he gets every weekend then 10days hoiliday. but my lawyers on the ball the first one was horrible! £115 a month:O thats Fair. FOB pays £56 a month and on the lawyers letter it said about him picking and droping aiden off (i used to drop aiden off but now can't afford it) and how he has to pay for nappies,milk clothes ect.. for his house when i offrerd him i think they need to learn they have to pay for their child!! argh hope you get it sorted soon though im here if you want to talk xx

 

[WhiteGeisha]

Considering he has only been in LO's life for 10 months and you aren't denying access I can't see how he would get every weekend, all weekend including over night. I think what you have offered is acceptable. Let him take you hun, very unlikely he will get his way completely imo. What has ur solicitor said?

I would try mediation, because at least that way you can say to court (if it goes that far) you tried and he didn't x

 

[Ceejay123]

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[Vixen_17]

If you don't have a solicitor and it's just FOB's sol writing to you try not to be too scared of the intimidating tone and harsh words they use - it's mostly just a front to try and make you cave in to what he wants without going to court. Very scary but hold your ground and wait and see what your own solicitor says first. I think you're being generous with your offer (shame BnBers aren't family law judges!) Good luck hun.

 

[lauramarie]

I do have a solicitor and the letters he was sending were also from solicitor, he is definately taking me to court. My mum works in solicitors office so solicitor has been doing me favours, but now have to seek legal aid, due to the cost of going to court. She has said that u can never tell what a judge will rule as every case is different, but generally its every second weekend and it is built up to this over a period of time. Im just really scared of going to court, im losing sleep over it

Also last two weeks when LO has returned for FOB, he has been in a foul mood, and today had the worst temper tantrum ever when he returned and he didnt want to go with him. anyone any experience of this, could it just be because of the age he is at or could he be getting confused?

 

[sie35]

i was stopped wrongfully from seeing my sons for over a year when i fiannly got some intervention from the courts it was twice a week for 3 hours at a time for 3 months but then whent to 4 hours then overnight now i have shared resadency at the time i hated it i just wonted to be a proper dad but because they hadent seen me for so long it was the best way to do it for the kids witch is more important gradual increases in contact is far far better than just jumping in with to much to soon it felt wrong humiliating frustrating and no dad in that situation will be happy with it but with the benifit of hignsight its the best way to do it all round

 

[sie35]

Considering he has only been in LO's life for 10 months and you aren't denying access I can't see how he would get every weekend, all weekend including over night. I think what you have offered is acceptable. Let him take you hun, very unlikely he will get his way completely imo. What has ur solicitor said?

I would try mediation, because at least that way you can say to court (if it goes that far) you tried and he didn't x

he will get a overnight resadency order for probably saturday nights but the courts will build contact up to that gradulaly at mums pace only if its in the childs best interest the courts are pro mum in cases like this a good thing