Exclusive formula feeding, dealing with pressure.

[canadadiva]

Hi, I am due Oct 28. My husband and I are planning on doing exclusive formula. I had breast surgery and my doctor said it is unlikely I will be able to breast feed but if I want to try I can, but it will be a huge challenge. I also have an anxiety disorder, and don't want to subject myself and the baby to stress that will likely lead to failure. Formula for us seems like the best route. My husband is very supportive as he and his sister were formula fed from day 1 and are healthy.
I haven't given birth yet, but I feel a huge amount of pressure re: breast feeding. I was wondering how you guys handled the pressure? I am scared that I will have a horrible experience at the hospital when I tell them I want to do formula. Any tips for dealing with this? Thank you so much.

 

[Charlie5]

All i can say is if you decide to FF stand firm - like its not even up for discussion.

For me BF was not an option, not something that appeals to me, not something I want to do and not something that comes natural to me. Lots of ladies do and each to their own but it was not even a consideration for me, I don't want to and haven't (have 2 sons) - simple as.

You do have to take a firm stand sometimes and learn to ignore the tuts and disapproving looks but at the end of the day its your body, your baby and your decision. A happy mummy and FF baby is better than an unhappy mummy.


Good luck with whatever you decide, and there is nothing wrong at all if you BF or FF

 

[devon_91x]

Agree with PP. Don't let the doctors or midwives pressure you. Stand your ground. Your baby, your rules. I just ignore the comments people make and get on with it. I have FF since my LO was 2 weeks and she's gaining weight brilliantly and she's very healthy. That's all I care about x

 

[bumblebeexo]

Don't listen to what anybody else says, feeling pressured when you have a new baby is the last thing you want and there is nothing wrong with formula feeding. My LO has been FF from birth and has gained weight brilliantly, she follows the chart perfectly! I'm glad I made the decision to FF, it's what works best for me and my family.

 

[dizz]

Don't feel you have to justify whatever decision you make - the ones who will judge won't believe it anyway so it's not worth the hassle - just be firm and don't be bullied.

Perhaps put it in your birth plan? My decision this time isn't going to be made at all until the next baby's here - and it'll be made in the light of how the birth and pregnancy goes - and will be MY decision - not the NHS/health visitors/random old lady on the street's.

 

[greats]

Just stand your ground, put it in your birth plan for sure! I knew I wanted to formula feed but nurses & lactation consultant pressured me into trying breastfeeding. Did it for 2 days & it didn't work out & I wound up ff like I originally wanted to anyways. There's absolutely nothing wrong with ff & if there was they wouldn't be selling it! =)

 

[vintage67]

A facebook friend of mine just had a baby last weekend and formula feeding from birth due to her having MRSA. She works in animal rescue and contracted MRSA through a dog bite wound. She carefully researched her decision and feels good about it. So far. I say that because it is absolutely true that there are some very hateful comments out there, especially online, about anyone formula feeding for any reason whatsoever.

There's so much more to being a mom than formula feeding or breastfeeding but you can get sucked into the hyperbole that your "good mother" or "bad mother" badge will be issued based on that one circumstance alone.

Try to relax about it and enjoy your baby. The baby days pass so fast and it is awful to be filled with such anxiety, guilt and grief during those too short, precious days.

 

[BeachyBronzer]

as far as i can see it wont be an issue at all in this day and age.
the hospital i gave birth in support both ff or bf.
obviously bf is recommended but its not pushed.
u do what u want.
try bf if u want. it doesnt matter a bit if it doesnt work out. baby is not going to go hungry!
personally i wish i had put less pressure on myself to try bf. ff is just as good. and to be honest it actually takes a bit of pressure off!

 

[socitycourty]

It is your decision and at the end of the day as long as you feed your LO you are doing your job!

I BF for almost 8 weeks but my LO was just miserable with it so we quit. She's on FF now and most of the time is 100x happier.

congratulations!

And if people ask you if you're BF....smile and say, why do you need to know? or my favorite one, Why, are you hungry??? LMAO

 

[BeachyBronzer]

And if people ask you if you're BF....smile and say, why do you need to know? or my favorite one, Why, are you hungry??? LMAO

lol!!!!

thats brilliant! must remember that one

 

[readytotry]

Just remember that it is no ones business - an try not to get paranoid about it - very few people will care. It might seem like a lot of pressure when you have a newborn but within a few weeks you'll notice that most people ff. By six months the pressure starts to go the other way anyway - I am still bfing at 8 months and often get asked when I will stop or am told my baby is hungry/sleep problems all because of bfing etc.

 

[Mrsmitch80]

Try not to worry too much about the pressure in hospital. When I had my first daughter 3 years ago I was pressured and literally manhandled into breastfeeding whilst still exhausted and sore from a manual placenta removal. I continued to try to bf for a few weeks but introduced formula top ups and my milk dried up.

This time DH and I decided that we would not allow me to be treated like that again! I decided to give bf a go but on my own terms and in my own time! As it happened there was no pressure this time, my lo was asleep on me an hour or so after birth and I decided that I wanted to give it a go, the mw saw me bf and said she was just about to ask how I wanted to feed my baby, she was happy either way.

Just stand firm but it may not be a problem so don't worry too much. Good luck xxxx

 

[Vickie]

I wrote it on my birth plans so they knew immediately what my choice was.

 

[Erinsmummy]

I chose to bottle feed pretty much as soon as I knew I was pregnant with my daughter. I was very lucky in that I never dealt with pressure, the midwives I saw would always encourage breast feeding but never pushed it, I think it helped that I was very clear to everyone from the start, I knew what I wanted and that was what I was doing and no amount of pressure was going to change that. Even when I was in labour my midwife asked how I wanted to feed, I said bottle and she didn't say a word, just got on with it. Just stand your ground and don't be bullied into something you feel will make you unhappy, your body and your baby, you know what's best.

 

[Kitty1979]

I gave birth on Saturday and desperately wanted to bf, but LO just wouldn't take I'd had a 26 hr labour and was shattered and he took to ff and to be honest once I made that decision I feel so much better, pressure is off hubby can help with feeds. During my MW visit when she asked how I was feeding I started crying, she was great told me not to beat myself up most important thing is baby and I are happy. I think you just need to do wht works for you x

 

[Shineystar]

Yeah it totally makes a difference once you make the decision! I was so gutted that I couldn't handle the pain of BF'ing and I know everyone tells you just to get on with it as it gets easier..
Turned out i had mastitis, and crying with pain every time LO wanted fed was not healthy for either of us. Also looking back I think i was trying to interpret her hunger queues as anything else just so I wouldn't have to put her on, so she was probably hungry loads! And then when she would fuss at the breast and finally latch on then come off I would get annoyed as she would need to re latch and the letdown was sooo painful!
Feeding time doesn't fill me with dread anymore and she sleeps so much better now, I enjoy her so much more

 

[mrsf1234]

I hate the pressure to bf. just remember your baby, your choice and at the end of the day, a happy mother bonding well with her baby IMO is far more important than bf'ing.

I was resenting my baby while bf'ing and the bond wasn't there til I ff so stuff anyone who says the bond is better with bf babies!