Experience in UK with the CSA or CMS?

[Meezerowner]

Has anyone had experience with the CSA or CMS?

I applied to the CMS at beginning of November and so far they have been really helpful and the process has been easy. I wanted to set up payments that they will collect from FOB and pass to me as he cannot be trusted to make payments any other way.

They had some issues sorting it all out at the beginning mostly because when I applied he was working but he then lost his job and is now claiming benefits. The staff handling my case have been really helpful and apologetic about it taking so long to sort out.

I was just wondering how long it usually takes to get payments. After all it is now 5 months on and I haven't received any money.
It's not a lot of money about £350 for the 1st month and then about £28 a month since he's been on benefits.
But I could use it atm as I'm getting ready to move and have a lot of costs coming up for solicitors and removals and settling up bills etc.

Anyways does this seem like a long time or is it pretty usual? Also at what point do they *force* him to pay i.e. take him to court etc.

I'm going to ring them again tomorrow to see what's going on. Just wondered if this was the norm or whether I have been a bit too relaxed and I should be chasing them more.

Thanks.

 

[babycrazy1706]

Stalking this thread. Hope they sort your payments soon. Sorry no advice as I've not used the csa.....yet! Xx

 

[babycrazy1706]

Omg just realised you've got twins!! You definitely need those payments soon!

 

[Meezerowner]

Omg just realised you've got twins!! You definitely need those payments soon!

yeah twins = expensive!
2 x equipment
2 x nappies
2 x wasted food

 

[babycrazy1706]

I can imagine!!

at wasted food. Its true though! Haha

 

[Meezerowner]

I can imagine!!

at wasted food. Its true though! Haha

Yep. I cooked a lovely pasta bake for lunch. Apparently they do not care for leeks so they systematically threw it on the floor piece by piece.
"Fine have some bread sticks then...very nutritious!".

 

[babycrazy1706]

I go through the same thing daily!!!

 

[Meezerowner]

Ok so I phoned the CMS today.

They said the problem has been getting the money deducted from his benefits. Apparently everytime they send a request it comes back with an automatic rejection. They are still investigating this. It sounds a bit weird to me as I thought it would be quite common for them to deduct money in this way.

The bad news was that since he is on benefits they can't *demand* the arrears (£450) from him. I will have to wait until he gets a job for them to request that.
So even if the money does start to flow it's only gonna be a measly £7.10 a week hardly even worth it really!

I just have to hope he finds another job soon and declares it.

 

[babycrazy1706]

Aw that's disappointing

Still follow through though Hun as it is better than nothing.... £369 a year could help out with Christmas. Hope he gets a job soon!!!!!

 

[Dezireey]

I have been dealing a lot with the CSA recently. At first it was going well (had letters saying money would be deducted on such a such date etc) but it was all hot air. Basically my FOB is in extreme denial about all of it. Its like he is actually really pretending he is not a father and all this is of no concern of his, he is bonkers frankly. He is just completely ignoring them. Okay, this does make things difficult for me as he is fighting it with silence. This time around he has not sent them a letter back, denying paternity.

I believe he thinks they will just go away, they won't as long as I keep in contact with CSA wanting child support. Now, the guy I spoke to recently was super helpful but told me that CSA go through stages, they obviously have to make contact with the father and wait a certain amount of time for a response. They then have to arrange calculations through him and get details from him etc etc. So, he knows how to beat the system, temporarily. They told me, child support is like any debt, e.g with a bank or company...it just won't go away and arrears acrue. So my stupid ex, who thinks hes above it all, will face a shitload of hassle if he keeps this up. Instead of paying a small amount of what he can afford, they do a guess estimate of wages based on his job role and they just wait until a certain amount of arrears kicks in and then........everything is passed to the enforcement team, apparently they mean business. They have far more information and the means to track down someone than the finance department. So, lets watch this space and see what happens to my ex when enforcement comes down on his back. .....his previous partner that he has been avoiding child support to didn't take it that far apparently.

Hope that info has been of some help? feel free to PM me if you have questions, happy to help if I can.

Basically hun, as long as YOU are in contact with CMS/CSA and want child support, they will hound him forever to get it, that's their job. They may take time on some stuff but just keep calling them for updates and progress every so often.

 

[Snow Owl]

It hugely depends on him

We're on the other side, we got the letter at Christmas to say a new claim had been opened (moving to cms from CSA) and the first payment went out beginning of February.

But then we arnt on benefits and returned the paperwork in days

Good luck

 

[Meezerowner]

I have been dealing a lot with the CSA recently. At first it was going well (had letters saying money would be deducted on such a such date etc) but it was all hot air. Basically my FOB is in extreme denial about all of it. Its like he is actually really pretending he is not a father and all this is of no concern of his, he is bonkers frankly. He is just completely ignoring them. Okay, this does make things difficult for me as he is fighting it with silence. This time around he has not sent them a letter back, denying paternity.

I believe he thinks they will just go away, they won't as long as I keep in contact with CSA wanting child support. Now, the guy I spoke to recently was super helpful but told me that CSA go through stages, they obviously have to make contact with the father and wait a certain amount of time for a response. They then have to arrange calculations through him and get details from him etc etc. So, he knows how to beat the system, temporarily. They told me, child support is like any debt, e.g with a bank or company...it just won't go away and arrears acrue. So my stupid ex, who thinks hes above it all, will face a shitload of hassle if he keeps this up. Instead of paying a small amount of what he can afford, they do a guess estimate of wages based on his job role and they just wait until a certain amount of arrears kicks in and then........everything is passed to the enforcement team, apparently they mean business. They have far more information and the means to track down someone than the finance department. So, lets watch this space and see what happens to my ex when enforcement comes down on his back. .....his previous partner that he has been avoiding child support to didn't take it that far apparently.

Hope that info has been of some help? feel free to PM me if you have questions, happy to help if I can.

Basically hun, as long as YOU are in contact with CMS/CSA and want child support, they will hound him forever to get it, that's their job. They may take time on some stuff but just keep calling them for updates and progress every so often.

Thanks for your reply.

Have you actually seen a penny yet and when did you apply?
Did your FOB originally deny paternity - how scummy.

It's good to know the arrears do just keep piling up. I think I'm gonna make a habit of ringing them every couple of weeks but I guess it's still early days.

 

[Karren]

I have been dealing a lot with the CSA recently. At first it was going well (had letters saying money would be deducted on such a such date etc) but it was all hot air. Basically my FOB is in extreme denial about all of it. Its like he is actually really pretending he is not a father and all this is of no concern of his, he is bonkers frankly. He is just completely ignoring them. Okay, this does make things difficult for me as he is fighting it with silence. This time around he has not sent them a letter back, denying paternity.

I believe he thinks they will just go away, they won't as long as I keep in contact with CSA wanting child support. Now, the guy I spoke to recently was super helpful but told me that CSA go through stages, they obviously have to make contact with the father and wait a certain amount of time for a response. They then have to arrange calculations through him and get details from him etc etc. So, he knows how to beat the system, temporarily. They told me, child support is like any debt, e.g with a bank or company...it just won't go away and arrears acrue. So my stupid ex, who thinks hes above it all, will face a shitload of hassle if he keeps this up. Instead of paying a small amount of what he can afford, they do a guess estimate of wages based on his job role and they just wait until a certain amount of arrears kicks in and then........everything is passed to the enforcement team, apparently they mean business. They have far more information and the means to track down someone than the finance department. So, lets watch this space and see what happens to my ex when enforcement comes down on his back. .....his previous partner that he has been avoiding child support to didn't take it that far apparently.

Hope that info has been of some help? feel free to PM me if you have questions, happy to help if I can.

Basically hun, as long as YOU are in contact with CMS/CSA and want child support, they will hound him forever to get it, that's their job. They may take time on some stuff but just keep calling them for updates and progress every so often.

Thanks for your reply.

Have you actually seen a penny yet and when did you apply?
Did your FOB originally deny paternity - how scummy.

It's good to know the arrears do just keep piling up. I think I'm gonna make a habit of ringing them every couple of weeks but I guess it's still early days.

It does stack up, the longer they go the worse for them it is.

You can also "Back date" it to the date you opened up the case.

Thats what I did and my ex is now in a hell of a lot of arrears.

He quit his job thinking that would get him out of it, he was wrong, entirely his own fault.

 

[Meezerowner]

It hugely depends on him

We're on the other side, we got the letter at Christmas to say a new claim had been opened (moving to cms from CSA) and the first payment went out beginning of February.

But then we arnt on benefits and returned the paperwork in days

Good luck

If there is any paperwork to do I know FOB wont have done it. He is soooo slow at doing anything and always leaves important stuff till the last possible minute.

My conveyancer commented that he is burying his head in the sand as he never replies to any of her letters regarding our house sale.
He just can't be bothered sorting any of his mess out and leaves it all to me to do.

 

[Meezerowner]

It does stack up, the longer they go the worse for them it is.

You can also "Back date" it to the date you opened up the case.

Thats what I did and my ex is now in a hell of a lot of arrears.

He quit his job thinking that would get him out of it, he was wrong, entirely his own fault.

I can't get over how many people say that their FOBs quit their jobs to avoid maintainance.

If the tables were turned and I had to pay maintainance for MY child/ren there is no way that I would stop work. It seems crazy to me.

It shows how spiteful some people are when all they care about is hurting their Ex regardless of the fact that they are hurting themselves and more importantly their children who have done nothing wrong.

I think a lot of men are deluded and hope that the problem will go away.

Unfortunately my FOB actually lost his (well paid) job due to a criminal charge and he is awaiting sentencing still. I think he will prob stay on benefits until he knows what is going to happen to him (there is a chance he could get a custodial sentence). After that I hope he does go out and get a job again as the maintainance from benefits is measly.

 

[babycrazy1706]

It does stack up, the longer they go the worse for them it is.

You can also "Back date" it to the date you opened up the case.

Thats what I did and my ex is now in a hell of a lot of arrears.

He quit his job thinking that would get him out of it, he was wrong, entirely his own fault.

I can't get over how many people say that their FOBs quit their jobs to avoid maintainance.

I was just about to write this too!!!!!

It's ABSOLUTELY absurd that men think that is a way out and just SO incredibly dumb!!! You want to give up your job so you don't have to pay child support but you giving up your job means you won't have any money for yourself either!!!! OMG how fucking stupid can you get!!!!?????

 

[Dezireey]

To be honest its exactly like a company calling and calling you and sending letters because you are in debt and owe them money, only its far worse as this is a debt for life ( if some stupid men let it go that far, they end up paying arrears in child support when their kid is an adult, duh!) CSA also has far more power than a co.pany you owe money to, no, it doesnt just give you a bad credit rating, they can send the bailiffs in, take your driving license off you, chuck.you in prison etc.

I dont know about you ladies, but if I have ever had a debt I cant afford ( and its happened in the past) I have managed to contact them and organise some sort of small payment on a regular basis and be honest on what I can afford. I understand some FOB's are broke but that doesnt give them a 'choice' to opt out paying for their child.

I am sick and tired ( well not now but previously) of my ex treating me like I got pregnant by some other wordly organisation that had nothing to do with him and the sheer audacity at his behaviour about it all and him thinking hes the victim...... bonkers. He is the one now with this debt hanging over him, not me, so its his life he is messing up now, not ours.

Forgot to mention that he has learned all the tricks of avoiding child support because of the secret child ( that he never told me about) including using aliases and not his real name over the internet etc. But, like I said, enforcement officers never acted on it, but they are now, so to be honest, he really deserves whats coming to him to treat two kids of his own in this way.

 

[Meezerowner]

To be honest its exactly like a company calling and calling you and sending letters because you are in debt and owe them money, only its far worse as this is a debt for life ( if some stupid men let it go that far, they end up paying arrears in child support when their kid is an adult, duh!) CSA also has far more power than a co.pany you owe money to, no, it doesnt just give you a bad credit rating, they can send the bailiffs in, take your driving license off you, chuck.you in prison etc.

I dont know about you ladies, but if I have ever had a debt I cant afford ( and its happened in the past) I have managed to contact them and organise some sort of small payment on a regular basis and be honest on what I can afford. I understand some FOB's are broke but that doesnt give them a 'choice' to opt out paying for their child.

I am sick and tired ( well not now but previously) of my ex treating me like I got pregnant by some other wordly organisation that had nothing to do with him and the sheer audacity at his behaviour about it all and him thinking hes the victim...... bonkers. He is the one now with this debt hanging over him, not me, so its his life he is messing up now, not ours.

Forgot to mention that he has learned all the tricks of avoiding child support because of the secret child ( that he never told me about) including using aliases and not his real name over the internet etc. But, like I said, enforcement officers never acted on it, but they are now, so to be honest, he really deserves whats coming to him to treat two kids of his own in this way.

Why did he try and hide the other child was it literally to avoid paying?
I can't believe that he claimed the kid was dead..... that is so cold. Does he have to pay for that child now do you know. He sounds very sly and a bit creepy. You are defo better off without him.

Tell you what I'm *worried* about atm is that my FOB being unemployed and on benefits will be trying all sorts of things to get money. I know he is trying to sell stuff he's made on Ebay - like a mini-business. I bet he's not declaring that to anyone. So he could be making money and they will never know.

I'm glad that the CSA keep hounding these people though. They need to face up to their responsibilities. I just don't know how anyone with a conscience can knowingly ignore their obligations like that.

 

[Dezireey]

The whole time I was with him, he never once mentioned a child, infact I remember asking him when I met him if he had kids ( we were both in our late 30's then,so I expected it) and he said 'nope, I hate kids'.Which I thought was a bit extreme. He just didn't like kids, which was fine by me as at the time, I wasnt fussed on having any and two Doctors had told me I couldnt ( endometriosis, fibroids etc). It shocked me when I got pregnant but there was no way I was not keeping my baby and when we talked about it, he came out with this sobbing story about having a boy, who he brought up without the mother, who left them, and then this child died age 5. I was in total shock and couldnt understand why you would not tell someone you are dating such a HUGE secret. He was crying and everything, so I believed him. Then because this sob story still didnt change my mind ( which I think was his intention), he dumped me saying he couldnt cope with being a father and that he was terrible at it.

Called CSA a few months later and they tell me he has a child very much alive, not dead and that they are dealing with his case. Found out from them recently, that he has a history of non- compliance of payment for that case.

It just boggles my mind the stuff this guy has come out with. I know its been two years but he has met someone new now and her 10 year old son and teenage daughter are calling him Dad, whilst my son, his actual child ( and probably the other one) get no money off him and he has nothing to do with them.....he is sick in the head, truly warped view on life and I am glad he is gone to be honest. I made a huge mistake getting involved with him but it resulted in the most amazing little boy, so in a different way, because of my LO, I have no regrets now.

 

[Meezerowner]

The whole time I was with him, he never once mentioned a child, infact I remember asking him when I met him if he had kids ( we were both in our late 30's then,so I expected it) and he said 'nope, I hate kids'.Which I thought was a bit extreme. He just didn't like kids, which was fine by me as at the time, I wasnt fussed on having any and two Doctors had told me I couldnt ( endometriosis, fibroids etc). It shocked me when I got pregnant but there was no way I was not keeping my baby and when we talked about it, he came out with this sobbing story about having a boy, who he brought up without the mother, who left them, and then this child died age 5. I was in total shock and couldnt understand why you would not tell someone you are dating such a HUGE secret. He was crying and everything, so I believed him. Then because this sob story still didnt change my mind ( which I think was his intention), he dumped me saying he couldnt cope with being a father and that he was terrible at it.

Called CSA a few months later and they tell me he has a child very much alive, not dead and that they are dealing with his case. Found out from them recently, that he has a history of non- compliance of payment for that case.

It just boggles my mind the stuff this guy has come out with. I know its been two years but he has met someone new now and her 10 year old son and teenage daughter are calling him Dad, whilst my son, his actual child ( and probably the other one) get no money off him and he has nothing to do with them.....he is sick in the head, truly warped view on life and I am glad he is gone to be honest. I made a huge mistake getting involved with him but it resulted in the most amazing little boy, so in a different way, because of my LO, I have no regrets now.

That's such a bizarre story - he is a special sort of crazy.

It's so horrible that he said his child was dead though - I can't get over how cold and weird that is.

And then to get a new woman with children in tow.... so much for hating children! I feel sorry for her because if he told you all those lies what the hell has he been saying to her? I bet she doesn't know half of what's been going on.

Your last sentence is exactly how I feel about my FOB. I was with him for 8 years and sometimes I feel like he stole that time from me.... but when I really think about it I would do it all again because I have my two little girls who are magic.
My FOB has another kid now with the woman he cheated on me with - that baby is only 6 months younger than my two.