Extended Families vs Nuclear Families

[Lightworker]

Hi folks!
Have been thinking lately, at the way society is rapidly changing and have been wondering what your thoughts are on the way the family structure is evolving and its impact on society as a whole.

In the past, alot of communities had extended families all living in the same house. When you got married, you moved to your husband's house and on and on like that. I know in some communities they still do this such as Asians, Arabs etc.

In the West most people leave home in their late teens early twenties, so its very much nuclear families that emerge.

Do you think society would be better off all living under one roof? In terms of support, relationships, financial stability, looking after children etc? I have read loads of biographies of women who have married into certain families, and some are great, there is a great bond, and some are horrible, as they don't get on with their in laws, and this then impacts the marriage negatively.

In your present situation, do you think you would be better off, or worse off, living with your parents (or in laws) for the rest of your life?

Do you feel people are now very private, and everyone wants their own space, and how do you think this impacts society?

 

[smelly07]

Personally i would be sitting in a corner of a room....rocking back and forth....muttering to myself if i had to live with any family members.

I think independence is extreamly important as well as time and space to be with your own immediate family.

i do however think family is very very important and they play an important role in our lives but we dont live in each others pockets.

 

[OmarsMum]

I live with my family (actually they live with us )

My parents & 2 brothers (17 & 25) live with us. It's nice in terms of helping us but I miss having my own privacy. My dad interfers in everything, & my mum loves to take over. I have to be very cautious when dealing with my brothers as they take things personally.

I do apprciate their help esp with Omar but I dont have any alone time with DH.

They'r moving out soon, they'r looking for a place close to ours, which is fine to us as DH & I are very close to my family.

I still have mixed feelings about their move, Omar is soo attached to my parents & brothers, but I need some privacy.

I think it will be easier & less stessful for all of us once they move out.

 

[tallybee]

I think it would be wonderful to all live together supporting each other... but unfortunately the reality is that many people just do not get on and in that case it'd be a complete nightmare!

Personally I wanted my independence early (I moved out of home at just 16) but would now give anything to have my mum back xx

 

[MamaBelle]

[Removed]

 

[marley2580]

I like having my space, but I really wish we all lived close by each other. We're scattered all over the place and need cars to visit each other.

 

[lesleyann]

If I had to live with my inlaws, I'd be single! I like my indepenace and privacy to much.. Plus it would never feel like i was in my own home, I'd always feel like I must be on best behaviour and could not relax

 

[Laura2919]

I wouldnt feel comfortable living with my in laws. I like my own space, I lived with my parents until last year and it was crowded I couldnt imagine going back there.

I like my space how it is

 

[smokey]

I think I have the best of both worlds, our entire family on my side(about 9 houses) all live down the same road and have done for many generations, my great grandmother was born in the house next door but one to my parents and the family have lived there ever since.
Its pretty much a family tradition that you move out of the road when you get married then move back into it to raise your kids.
We havnt moved back there yet (oh doesnt want to but I do) but we only live about 5/10 minutes away also OH whole imediate family all live within 5/10 minutes of us as well.
So we have our own private time but they are all there whenever we need them, LO see his grandparents and great grandparents a few times a week and anyone of the family is there at a moments notice if we need them to look after him say if I need to do an emergancy shift at work or we just fancy going to the cinema but they arnt under our feet and we can just get up and go home whenever we want.

I cant ever imagine living away from the families and we are perfectly prepared for the event one of the parents has to live with us in years to come.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I would never live with inlaws. Ever!

We have: My mum and dad 7 miles away
eldest sis 5miles away
youngest sis 7miles
MIL- 4 miles
FIL 3miles (he is always away anyway)

Thats enough! close enough to pop by but not TOO close!

 

[mrs_park]

We have just recently moved in with my mum and dad. For the most part it has been great! it's been great for LO to see lots of faces other than mine. We have certainly had some interesting moments though

 

[Nibblenic]

I was brought up in a household where we lived with my Grandparents. I think for the most part it did me the world of good. There was always someone about, I never had a 'latch key kid' moment.
I lived away for 10 years and have recently moved back home with my husband. So my daughter will be brought up with her Nanna, in the same house infact.

I think if everyone has enough space and enough time to themselves. Can get along happily for the most part. It is a great way to do things. There is a huge amount of support, emotional, financial and physical.

 

[rubywoo77]

My grandmother lived with us when I was growing up, and as a child it was fantastic and my mum and gran had a really close and supportive replationship, my gran would often stick up for my mum if her and my dad had a row. I think it worked because both women had mutual respect for their role in the house and most importantly my gran was very gracious and understanding and wasn't insecure about the role my mum played in my dad's life and didn't turn it into a her or me type situation and ditto my mum.

I lived with my in-laws for almost a year and if we hadn't moved out when we did I don't think I would still be married!... there is no way I could ever live with them again. My MIL made it patently clear how I was to behave/carry myself etc etc in her home, my husband and I had zero privacy as our bedroom was on the ground floor which meant there was no way of escaping and having a bit of privacy. I was expected to carry out all the household chores despite being heavily pregnant and not as mobile as I once was, also my husband would get daily reports on everything from me having a lie-in til 9am to me not cooking food the way my MIL did. Playing hostess to the endless stream of my in-laws visitors even when heavily pregnant and suffering from pre-eclampsia meant that had we not moved out when we did I would either have ended up divorced or killing someone, or both.

In my culture living with the inlaws or as part of extended family is still vquite common, however no way I could do it again. My inlaws and most of my husbands immediate family live about a 1 mile away and are around every day and even that feels suffocating at times.

 

[Janidog]

I would never want to live with my parents again, I love the fact that they are a 2hr drive away. Sometimes they have been an amazing help, but other times its been hell