Extremely OT - but need advice

[amygwen]

OH and I made the decision to try to adopt a dog - we got him (Cujo) through a program where you can foster them first to make sure they are a right fit for your family and then you can adopt if you want to. So we've been fostering him now for over two weeks and Kenneth & I really love him.

Anyways, the dog is so sweet, he's 5 months old and he's 100% housebroken, no accidents except here and there when he gets scared or over excited. I've really fallen in love with him and so has Kenneth, they play all the time.

OH really really doesn't like the dog at all. OH has tried to like him but the dog is just really scared of him for some reason so when OH tries to cuddle or play with him, he pees all over the place, gets really scared and hides. I've tried explaining to OH he's clearly scared and might've been abused by someone who looks similar to him which is why he gets so scared.

Also - I've tried getting OH to feed him, which he does. But Cujo will run away and not eat the food if OH gives it to him and I've tried getting OH to take him out on walks, but every time he goes towards him with the leash he pees all over the place.

Now OH has told me he really hates the dog and wishes we never got it. I'm really really upset because he's so nice and happy with Kenneth and I but not with OH. We are still fostering him so do have the option to take him back to the organization and they will adopt him out to someone else, but I feel like he's a good fit for us, but I don't want the dog to be scared of living with us because of OH. What should I do?

Thanks girls.

 

[Amber4]

Hmmm. That is so hard I know you and Kenneth love the dog but he's really not settling with your OH - Unless you think he would get used to him then I really don't think you should keep him. Sorry he may have been abused by a male and just have a really bad fear of them now. He might eventually build up his trust but if he doesn't then you can't live like that (with him peeing everywhere) and it's not fair for the dog to be so scared. I think that's such a fab idea that you can return the dog if it doesn't work out. So many get mistreated when they aren't wanted have you tried treats along with your OH perhaps get down to the dogs level? Just incase he does look scary? Sorry I can't help much - just ideas so you don't have to take him back xx

 

[suzib76]

I would let the dog go back if it were me. Everyone in the house has to be 100% happy with the dog, and vice versa. It's not really fair on either you oh or the dog to make them live together if they are not happy with each other

 

[lucy_x]

I would send the dog back , In my experience (we have 2 rescue dogs) they dont forget anything and if your dog was abused by a male previously then if he ever does get over it, it will take a long time, and its unfair to put your OH or the dog through the strain....Its a shame if he does fit in with you and your son, but it wll be your OHs dog too sorry x

 

[Ceejay123]

Honestly, if your OH doesn't want to try to win over the dog, he shouldn't be forced. There's nothing worse than having stress and tension in your own home, even if it is because of a dog. You need to talk to your OH, listen to him and try to put yourself in his shoes. If the dog hated and was scared of you, you wouldn't think twice... x

 

[supertabby]

I'd send the dog back. It may be he's been abused by a man and now fears men in general.

My aunt adopted a dog from a shelter in the 80s, he was nervous at first but settled in and she kept him many years till he died of old age, but he never shook off his fear of aerosol cans. He would go insane at the sight of them, he shake with fear and pee on the floor, the can didn't need to be spraying to make him afraid. My aunt had to keep them hidden and do polishing when my uncle took the dog out! Makes me sad to think what must've happened to him.

The dog may get over his fear of your oh but then again he might never get past it. It'd be worse to have to admit defeat 6 months down the line and send the dog away then. They're not happy with each other, I don't think you should force it.