Fabulous News! Now officially TTC at 38.

[Nicker]

Hey everyone,

I am 38 years old and single. I decided that I don't have time to wait to see if Mr. Right comes in to my life so I decided to go ahead with insemination using donor sperm. I saw the fertility doctor and he did not have promising news. Turns out that a medication I had been on has the potential to destroy ovarian reserves.

I had an HSG, antricular follicle count, and a bunch of blood work and then I waited patiently for my follow-up appointment (he would not tell me anything before the follow-up) which was today. The news was good. I have eggs!! I am expecting AF next week at which time I will start on Chlomid and I will have my first IUI in January! I am excited and nervous all at the same time!!

 

[Elski]

Wow, exciting stuff! Good luck!

 

[tigerlilly]

brill! you go girl x

 

[alison29]

Wow you rock! Its the best thing you will ever do. what meds do that? IF you don't mind me asking.

 

[anorak]

Good luck!!!!!

 

[helloeveryone]

Good luck,, ..Hope things work out for you..

 

[Bonnie1990]

Best of luck! What were you taking?

 

[Nicker]

I was on methotrexate because I have Crohn's disease. I knew I could not get pregnant while I was on it because it strips folic acid from your body so I went off of it before I even saw the fertility specialist. I have been taking 5000 mg of folic acid daily for 3 months now. The fertility doc said that will be fine. The other medication I am on for Crohn's is the one that really makes the difference and that one is completely safe for the first 2 trimesters. I get the medication every two months so we will have to time it so that it works out right. My GI is not concerned about it all and has had seen many healthy babies born with moms on that medication.

Thanks for saying I rock. My mom and I had quite the discussion today. She does not think I rock. She is not being supportive at all right now. I told her I was thinking about this a couple of months ago and she wouldn't really say a whole lot. When I told her, I also said that I didn't even know if I could conceive. She doesn't know I have seen the doc several times and gone through all of the testing and that I was told everything is fine. Today out of the blue she comes out with "You aren't thinking about having a baby are you?" I am so upset with her. She throws in my face all the time "You aren't a mother so you don't understand." Even today her reasons for not wanting me to have a baby is that it is going to be hard. I told her I know that. She says she can't help me. I tell her that I don't want her help. All I would want is for her to love the baby. She tells me that she would want to look after the baby while I am working but she can't do that anymore. I tell her that I will get a day home like all other parents and that I am not asking her to babysit. She says that she will worry about me and that she wouldn't be able to accept that she isn't able to help. She would feel guilty for not babysitting my child. She again threw at me that I don't understand that worry because I am not a mother. To which I replied she isn't giving me the opportunity to understand. I pointed out to my mom that she raised 3 babies and even though she had Dad, he was no help and was a like a big kid himself. She agreed. I said I think it will be easier raising one by myself knowing I am on my own than three being frustrated by an uncooperative spouse. If I didn't know what a mother's worry is, I wouldn't have put thought in to an education plan for my unconceived child. I wouldn't have thought about who will be my child's guardians should something happen to me. I get that she is worried and that moms worry. She says she can't think of anything worse than me having a baby. She says that she is telling me this because she is trying to be a good Mom. I feel like she is being selfish. I am willing to make sacrifices. I am willing to put my child's needs infront of my own. I am a simple person with simple needs. I don't want or need a big fancy house or lots of clothes. I have a lot of love to give and I don't feel like I should be begrudged that because I am not married. Mom knows I have always wanted children. She also knows that I refuse to settle. I have seen so many people get married or end up with a guy just because they want to be married or because they want to have children and I refuse to be that girl. I pointed it out that I have faced a lot of adversity but I have always faced it head-on and came out stronger on the other side.

I hope I made sense. Any input on what I can say or do? Do I just go ahead and if I get pregnant wait as long as I can to tell her so she has less time to stew over it and worry and prove to her that I can do it once the baby arrives. Any words of wisdom or encouragement?

 

[readyformore]

I am so sorry to hear that your mother is not being supportive.

This is going to sound really obnoxious, but I'm saying it anyway.........both of you will completely forget about this silly conversation and the hurt feelings, when you have the baby.

Will it be hard? Yes. I can't imagine being a single parent. But, I would prefer to be a single parent, than to not be a parent.


Seriously, when she sees this little person, she will fall in love. Then, you'll just have a new set of opinions and instructions regarding how to parent, as opposed to how to get pregnant.

 

[Nicker]

I am so sorry to hear that your mother is not being supportive.

This is going to sound really obnoxious, but I'm saying it anyway.........both of you will completely forget about this silly conversation and the hurt feelings, when you have the baby.

Will it be hard? Yes. I can't imagine being a single parent. But, I would prefer to be a single parent, than to not be a parent.


Seriously, when she sees this little person, she will fall in love. Then, you'll just have a new set of opinions and instructions regarding how to parent, as opposed to how to get pregnant.

You don't sound obnoxious, you are right.

I said that too. I would rather have it be hard than not have children at all. I know there will be hard times but there will be good times too and those will be the times I will choose to remember.

She has already said she will love the baby. I am surprised she hasn't had an issue yet with how I intend to get pregnant. (I hope that isn't yet to come)

 

[Bonnie1990]

Don't let your mom get you down. Only you know what is right for you and your future baby. Hang in there and good luck!

 

[dan-o]

Good luck hun, I conceived about 18 months after having methotrexate (as chemotherapy)
I had clomid 50mg and it worked first time! xx

 

[Eleonora]

You DO rock!! And you know what? It sounds like your mom loves you very much and is just really scared for you. I am sure she will find a lot of ways to help out and be supportive even if she is not going to be babysitting on her own but she feels worried and inadequate. Of course it is hard but I bet you've already thought of that, right?

 

[Nicker]

You are right. I am feeling like I am the one being selfish now though. Mom is having some health issues right now. She is having some heart tests done. I think she is convinced she is dying. Actually she said as much. She feels bad about that since we jusr lost dad a year ago Part of me feels like I should put everything on hold but the doc says I have a small window. Also wait for how long?

 

[ipen44]

Nicker, I have learned that you cannot save everyone. You just have to make the best decisions for yourself. That is not being cruel or uncaring. It is just taking care of yourself. My mom sounds similar to yours in that the way she chose to do things in the only right way. She had 3 kids under 5 by the time she was 22 and survived. People have children in all types of situations and find a way to make it work. You will find a way too. Hoping your mom feels better and you realize your dream of becoming a parent, but the 2 are not mutually exclusive. Take care of your mom while pursing your dream.