Facing up to Reality

[krissi]

Well my OH is an eternal optimistic and keeps saying it will happen, he is now covered in lumps and bumps where I have thrown things at him for making this stupid comment! But he is only a man so i will forgive him!

On a serious note, OH has his SA on Thursday and whilst he still thinks it is going to be 100% Ok I am less than optimistic as he had a vasectomy reversal in June, the vasectomy was originally done 14 years before. So it is unlikely the results are going to be very good.

Anyway the thought of this has been turning me into a hysterical mess so have decided to be proactive and look into my options. I have been speaking to a consultant who would have done the IVF fro free but I think we will need ICSI, if i am willing to donate some eggs. Now i love this idea as I would love to be able to help people who have it even worse than i do as well as helping myself in the process!!

So anyway he has sent me out all the forms and after loads of questions over the phone he thinks I will eb a good candidate. We will have to pay some as ICSI is more complicated but at least i feel things are going in the right dierction for a change!!

 

[magicvw]

That's great Krissi! When can you get things moving?

 

[Beckic]

Crossing everything that your OH is right and everything is ok sweetheart - but I fully understand the need to plan and be in control of the situation - i think its the lack of control that drives me sooo mad about TTC.

My OH thinks I'm mad looking info up on the internet - but I need to know whats going on and I need contingency plans and a focus.

Crossing fingers for you.

Bx x x x

 

[DaisyDuke]

Wow babe what a lovely thing u would be able to do for someone else. Am i right in thinking by doing this u will get ur IVF for free to, hope this all works out babe. XXX

 

[krissi]

I would have got it free but because we would have to have ICSI we would get it done at a much reduced cost, i think we just pay for the ICSI bit.

I have to wait for the forms and fill them in and send them off but we need to have OHs results too i think so we know what procedure we would need. I have to loose a small amount of weght foirst too i think about 7/8 lbs so that I am at the best BMI, but as I am already on a diet I know I can lose that amount easily!

I told OH about it and he still doesn't think it will be necessary bless him but i think you have to be realistic, if his count is low or the morphology bad we will go down that route so i want to have everything in place so i can prepare. They need to match me to a suitable candidate so i can donate etc so it all will take time. I am so excited though i just feel much more in control and positive. IVF was never going to be an option for us so i felt the end of the road was close ahead and now we have a lifeline and hopefully some other couple will have one to and it feels great!!

 

[Beckic]

So happy for you hunni.

Can you send some of your positivity my way!!!

Bx x x

 

[krissi]

Will do hun, i was the president of club negative last week, i think sometimes you just need to move the goalposts and positivity comes back xx

 

[MissAma]

I presume that if your fears come to fruition and his count is bad you guys will need SSR too (surgical sperm removal). In that case your ICSI costs go up with a good 10 to 30% so make sure you calculate that as well.

Very nice to see someone being proactive though and I'm sure you'll be able to keep your eyes on the parenthood prize!

 

[krissi]

They have said if he is ejaculating some then we won't need SSR but I am aware it is a possibility. Still even if it is more it will still overall cost me a lot less than it would have done originally x

 

[MissAma]

I wasn't trying to discourage you, on the very contrary, hope you didn't read me wrongly.

Absolutely admirable that you are even considering egg share, I for one would not. Not after how terrible the last IVF round was from every point of view but especially emotionally and financially. If anything, I'd like more eggs just so that I have an option to do a FET or two if it fails, would never share them if I'm honest.

 

[krissi]

No not at all hun, i would love any advice or experiences from other people, knowledge is power and all that!

 

[MissAma]

Well I can totally see where you are coming from with this arrangement and I have to say if I had the option now that we run out of money I'd do it in a jiffy. All I am saying is that I had considered this same thing in a theoretical fashion before our first try as back then I was imagining I will overstimulate and product tens of healthy eggs because I'm relatively young IVF wise. Considering they only got me 8 eggs and we ended up with nothing frozen I've stopped having great illusions about my body and selfishly want all of my eggs when we manage to raise the money (or we get our free turn) and go again.

Then again you certainly seem to be more fit than I am and that may well make a difference in production.

If it does come to SSR -which I really hope it does not!- feel free to PM me, I am sadly a wealth of information when it comes to the different techniques.

 

[krissi]

Thanks hun I appreciate that, we could never afford IVF, we would have been able to but we have just speant £2500 having OHs vasectomy reversed so by the time that is paid off and we save £4800 for IVF i feel it would be too late. (OH is 42 already and we have given ourselves another 3 years max).

I am not sure why but it doesn't bother me at all donating my eggs although I may feel differently if I had to have second attempt.

I will def pm you if it does come to SSR as i know my OH is worried about what that all entails, he feels he has had his bits played around with enough at the mo... typical man!

 

[rachelle1975]

Excellent news - and very proactive hun! We are in a similar boat and although i'm being painfull positive (DH will be throwing objects at me too!) i've also looked into every available option! Forewarned is forearmed!

Good luck with everything! x