Family getting annoyed...

[MetalMaiden]

Now, the step-MIL is insisting on overnight visits. My husband declined and said that I didn't have enough milk to have LO stay overnight. When she then asked me, I said I wasn't ready for that (as in, I'm not ready for my son to be away from me at night). Last night when we dropped him off so they could babysit (about 4 hours) step-MIL said as we were leaving, "If you change your mind, we would love for him to stay overnight! We can come up with some milk!" OMG. NO. I do not want him on formula and she KNOWS that. She knows that it's super important to me that he only has breastmilk, especially since he was an extremely premature baby. But all the pressure! She is telling my husband "oh, it's a first time mom thing, she'll get over it." UGH. She is so annoying about this! Why can't she just respect my wishes that I WANT TO NURSE MY CHILD, OK!? I mean, she nursed her kids, but not for very long. She told me a story about how she eventually put them on formula because she felt awkward breastfeeding in front of family and she didn't want to have to go off in a room to nurse. Blah.

pretty much could have wrote this myself. sounds like your MIL has control issues like mine does. stick to your guns hun, its hard but you will be happy you did and one day they will respect you for it. sounds like your OH (if he hasn't already) needs to firm up and tell them to back off, that they are lucky to even have you LO for 4 hours. thats way longer than mine would have her at any given time! you are doing an awesome job!

eta - my LO has never stayed anywhere overnight!

 

[YoshiPikachu]

Hannah didn't stay over night at her grandparents house until September.

 

[Sinead82]

I think your oh needs to have a firm word and inform your in-laws that there will be no overnights, this is not up for negotiation, end of discussion. If and when you are ready for overnight visits you will let them know. Then don't entertain any more comments on the matter, if it is brought up again, simply repeat the party line.

It is so unfair of anyone to put to out pressure on you to quit bf for their own selfish reasons. Keep doing what you want to do and know that you are doing the right thing!

Ps I say this as a formula feeder who is more than happy to let lo stay overnight with the inlaws you have to do what is right for you and your family x

 

[Brieanna]

I say stick to your guns!

I also only breastfeed and dd has not spent the night anywhere (although now that is more because I wouldn't feel comfortable, not because of breastfeeding) but when lo was younger if I had let in-laws (or anyone) have lo overnight and been given formula only because I was pressured and gave in I would have REALLY regretted it later.

Like other posters have said, this time is so special! Pretty soon he will be fine to spend the night without you and you will really miss him needing you so much (I did).

Also, maybe start letting them know it is not ONLY because you are breastfeeding so they won't pressure you to stop bfing just for overnight stays and that even if you gave him formula you wouldn't feel comfortable with leaving him overnight?

There is no reason for you to feel guilty or like you are selfishly depriving them, they are the ones being selfish (although not maliciously I am sure). You are doing what is best for you and the baby. Maybe explain also how much better breastmilk/breastfeeding is for you and your lo? Yes they could feed him formula so he can stay the night, but it is so much better for him (especially as he was a premie) and you. I was really surprised by how many of my relatives had no idea that breastmilk was better for a baby than formula so maybe they just don't know.

I was the only one who could feed dd (she never even liked ebm from a bottle) but everyone still managed to get plenty of cuddle/play time with her in between feeds.

Good luck.